Please do NOT feed the EGO

By Shamus Posted Thursday Oct 19, 2006

Filed under: Links 12 comments

My fragile and child-like ego, forever insecure and paranoid, has an insatiable appetite for stuff like this. Although, I’m not sure that feeding it is a particularly wise move. It’s probably a lot like feeding gremlins after midnight. I’m cute and funny now, but just wait until I think I’m better than the rest of you. You have not yet learned the meaning of insufferable.

I’m not sure why so many people are linking to DM of the Rings all of a sudden. Has it gotten funnier recently? The sad truth is that I can’t tell. At the start I’ll have some little gem of an idea that makes me smile, but by the time I upload the final result I’ve re-arranged it a dozen times and worded the thing a hundred different ways. I’m just numb to it.

So I don’t know what the sudden interest in the thing is all about. I’ve gotten more links since Tuesday than I have in the past month. Go figure.

The other thing worth noting is that humorous video I posted the other day had almost 6,000 views this morning. If that number is correct, then it pretty much dwarfs the traffic I get here at Twenty-Sided. Crazy.

UPDATE: The next morning. Thirty thousand views. That’s just strange. It’s not like this video is sitting on the front page. Most of those 30k visits were from people digging around in search results and finding the thing more or less by accident.

 


 

Battlestar Galactica

By Shamus Posted Thursday Oct 19, 2006

Filed under: Nerd Culture 16 comments

Over at Augury I found a bit about the new season of Battlestar: Galactica. There is a lot of controversy over the plot at the launch of the new season. It seems the humans have had to resort to suicide bomber attacks, and some parallels between the story and current events are causing an uproar. It portrays the Cylons as the “occupation” and the humans as “freedom fighters” who are obliged to use “suicide attacks”.

People seem to be divided into two camps:

  1. Casting the bad guys as the Americans in the Iraq war and having the other side (humans) argue about the morality of suicide attacks is a grotesque and heavy-handed allegory.
  2. The show is just trying to make you think. That’s what science fiction is for.

I have only seen the pilot episode / miniseries / whatever it was, and have not checked out the show itself yet, so I don’t know the specifics of this. I will say that I think the most obvious mistake is having the characters use the language of the current war in Iraq. I think this is what makes it seem so clumsy and heavy-handed. The writers should have come up with different words to use so that it wouldn’t be so jarring. Hearing “suicide bomber” – a term that entered use in just the last couple of years and is now on the news regularly – is a terrible idea. This is like having characters talk about their blogs.

They could have instead used “kamakaze”, or (even better) they could have come up with a new word for this. Then it would have seemed more like an exploration of the idea of suicide attacks as a tool of warfare and less like a fumbling allegory of the Iraq war.

I think its an interesting idea: What if we were in a spot where we were outmatched by a superior foe, but we found we could gain an advantage if we were willing to use suicide attacks as a weapon? There are a lot of hooks here that could yield interesting stories. Despite being from the other side of the galaxy (or whatever) the humans in this story obviously hold very western attitudes and values, so finding a volunteers would not be easy. How would commanders react to giving such an order? What if nobody volunteered? How many lives are worth how much gain? At what point does the idea become so costly that they will no longer consider it? For example: what if we could win the war in a single stroke, but we need 10 people willing to die, and we need to know that none of them will chicken out at the last minute? So, if one person chickens out the plan fails, but the other people still die? What if this potential suicide attack was a window of opportunity that was only available for a limited time, but (if they could do it) would deal a real blow to the Cylons?

This stuff is gold, from a writer’s standpoint. You could write a dozen short stories (and thus: a dozen episodes) on this by just looking at it from various angles and exploring all of the ways people react to this idea. The only danger is that you will yank the audience out of the story by reminding them that it was written today. Your characters should never use the lingo of the nightly news. This is the very reason they have space-jargon in sci-fi.

Sadly, it sounds like the show was going downhill even before this happened. Lurking around various comment threads I can see a lot of people echoing the same complaints. It looks like this is a very American television show: Launch with great fanfare but no clue as to where the long-term plot arc should be headed. Then just wing it until the show gets canceled. If you write yourself into a corner, pull out a Dues Ex Machina or two, toss in some controversy, and then just sort of gloss over it and move on.

On the upside, it looks like Vandread is pretty good. I guess I’ll just stick with the Japanese to fill my hunger for Sci-fi.

(One final note: Let’s see if we can keep from getting into a debate over the war. Really. The ‘net is wall-to-wall with people talking about it. We’re talking about TV shows here. Don’t be that guy.)

 


 

Dreamfall: Nitpicks

By Shamus Posted Thursday Oct 19, 2006

Filed under: Game Reviews 8 comments

After all of the praise I’ve heaped onto Dreamfall recently, I think it’s only fair to mention some of the flaws.

The most tedious and stupid is that whenever you put the disc in it launches the installer, even if the game is already installed. Couple this with the fact that the game won’t run unless the disc is in the drive and you have a nice recipe for annoying the user every time they play the game.

Dreamfall, shape-matching puzzle
QUICK! Find the shape with the curvy top and the line with the pointy… oops! Time ran out! Now you have to start all over!
There are these annoying pattern-matching puzzles, where you must hunt around a grid for random shapes. The shapes on the grid change positions as you play. The shapes are all fairly simillar. They are all the same color. The puzzle is timed. You must find several shapes in a row, but the timer is working against you. Every few seconds, once of the shapes you’ve already found will vanish or move and you’ll have to match it again.

Perhaps I just hate this game because I’m terrible at it, but this is exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about when I refer to DIAS gameplay.

The game was designed with a console controller in mind. This is a third-person game, and just as mouse & keyboard is ideal for first-person, the Playstation-style “Dual Shock” controller is just perfect for the third-person experience. The game supports the use of mouse & keyboard, but it feels clumsy to me. Once I plugged in my USB controller (which is a near identical copy of the Dual Shock) my enjoyment of the game went way up.

The controller issue wouldn’t be as much of a problem if not for the combat, which is another problem I have with the game. Yes, an adventure game with combat. I’m not a purist, and I enjoy this blending of genres. I like when first-person shooters offer a little adventure game style puzzling. I like when action games spice things up with a little RPG-style stats building. (You know, do X for a while and your attributes will go up, allowing you to do more and better X.) So, combat in an adventure game is not anathema to me. My issue with it is that the combat in this game feels… it feels exactly like a combat system designed by an adventure game designer.

Dreamfall, the combat system.
You can tell my trainer is a martial arts master because when she attacks she takes a step back, cocks her arm, then marches two steps forward and takes a heavy swing at my shoulder.
The problem here is that once you hit a button to take a swing, your character is going to wind up and take that swing and you can’t stop them. The move might take a second or two, and during that time you may want to change what you’re doing. Perhaps your foe is doing the same thing, except you realize his blow is going to land first. You’re going to want to get out of the way instead of following through. You’re going to mash on your keypad (and maybe shout) but your avatar is going to keep going no matter what. This is really frustrating for the player, and leads people to use words like “unresponsive” and “stiff” when describing the controls, even though that isn’t really the problem. To fix this, you would need to do one of two things:

  1. Speed up the fighting system so that it works like classic fighting games (Mortal Kombat) where movements happen so fast that the user will never get a chance to second-guess themselves. This would be very bad, because it will alienate a lot of adventure gamers. They often like adventure games because of the slow pace and the fact that you don’t need the reflexes of the thirteen year old boy to play them. Your fighting system will either bore the kids or be so fast that your core audience will be unable or unwilling to play it.
  2. Allow the user to alter their chosen action mid-move. So, if I’m about to deliver a strike I can suddenly change to a block. This will mitigate the problem, but is very, very difficult to implement. It would be a pain to animate, not to mention code. I wouldn’t want to try this.

My dueling system might be an interesting alternative to use in a game like this, although it would probably be too expensive in terms of development time.

At first the combat in Dreamfall semmed impossible and arbitrary. Then I locked on to a few tricks that made the whole thing easy enough that I was able to bully my way through the game. The big trick is:

  1. Get in close
  2. Wait until the foe begins to attack
  3. Step back and let them miss
  4. Hit them ONCE (don’t get greedy!)
  5. Repeat

The only time I get hit is whenever the #$@& camera swings around on me and I end up stepping into my foe when I’m trying to step back. In any case, this isn’t exactly a chessmatch.

I have other nitpicks with the plot and such, but I’ll leave that for when I get to the end of the game.

 


 

DM of the Rings XVIII:
Cartographer’s Lament

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Oct 18, 2006

Filed under: DM of the Rings 37 comments

Dungeon mapping, Graph paper.

Nothing adds excitement to a campaign like hours of detailing room dimensions and doorway placements. Remember, if you can’t keep them engaged, you can at least keep them busy. Well, one of them, anyway.

(As an aside, in our campaigns we use a a dry-erase board for this sort of thing.)

 


 

The Harvard Man

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Oct 18, 2006

Filed under: Rants 6 comments

There is the old saying, “One in the hand beats two in the bush.” Now, I always understood, based on context, what this saying was, erm, saying. The idea is that a thing you have is superior to a bigger and better thing which you must still work to obtain.

Less pithy:

If you’re out hunting some sort of game with your bare hands, and you’ve managed to capture one, you should not put that creature down to go chasing after two more. You could easily end up with none.

In this day where few of us hunt game, and those of us that do employ tools that allow you to secure that which you have already captured so that you may pursue additional game, little sayings like this have become little nonsense stories which are used as an abbreviation for a familiar but more wordy idea.

The Rampant Coyote has about the best example of this sort of idea that I’ve ever seen. I won’t short-circuit his anecdote by trying to summarize here, but I will note that I am in a perpetual state of amazement over how often people are willing to hand their companies over to an amateur or imbecile because he has good hair and a nice suit.

D&D players understand this: If you meet someone with a charisma of 18, it means he probably made intelligence his dump stat.

Just because someone came from Harvard does not mean they know what to do with, or even care about, your money. It is a shame just how many employees are made to be miserable because people just refuse to wrap their heads around this fact. I saw quite a bit of financial carnage during the dot-com bust, and a great deal of it came from learned men who were clearly winging it.

Think of it this way: Grab some random guy off the street and ask him to debug and expand on the several dozen PHP scripts that drive your website, and he will tell you he has no idea how to do that. But what if you offered him several million to do the same task? He is most likely not going to mention his lack of qualifications for the job. He is going to take the money and have a go at it. He would be a fool not to. The problems will begin slowly, but by the time you realize you’re really in trouble you will have a broken website, a trashed database, angry customers, and miles of code that nobody understands. Your coder will slink away quietly and months later he might feel a little tingle of guilt when he buys himself a sportscar.

This is very much what happens every day. Leaders are brought in who have only a list of goals and an enthusiasm for the money you’re giving them. Problems will begin slowly, but by the time you realize you’re really in trouble you will have hired a lot of useless people, fired some good ones, alienated your employees, wasted heaps of money, and missed a dozen opportunities. Your leader will slink away quietly and months later he will feel not the slightest bit of guilt when he buys a new yacht.

After all, he went to Harvard.

 


 

Windows Movie Maker

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 17, 2006

Filed under: Rants 9 comments

A bit about that YouTube video I posted.

It was made with Windows Movie Maker, a rather inept piece of software that is just barely able to fullfill its intended function. Doing this was like digging a hole using a shovel with a bendy rubber handle. After some practice I was able to get a feel for what sorts of activities would cause crashes and lockups so I could avoid doing them.

The most infuriating problem was the way it would lose track of where it was supposed to be in the audio track. I spent a lot of time trying to get visual cues to line up with changes in the music. (I hope someone noticed.) With WMM, the two only stay in step if you start playing the movie from the very beginning. If you start playing the movie in the middle, the sound track will be out of step by several seconds. If you are trying to get some visual event at 1:45 to line up with some part of the music, you can’t just jump to 1:45 and work on it. No, you have to play the entire clip from the very beginning, watch the movie, and try to get a feel for how far off the movie is. Then trim or pad according to your best guess and try again.

Beating up on Microsoft is so cliche that there is no way to get into this without saying something that hasn’t been said a thousand times already. This sucks, and nobody seems to care.

I really enjoyed making this, but I dread using WMM again. Maybe I’ll poke around and see if there are any good tools for this that don’t have a price tag aimed at professionals.

 


 

Bowling+Rollercoaster=Fun

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 17, 2006

Filed under: Movies 62 comments

I have fashioned a YouTube video, suitable for public consumption:

I expect such highbrow stuff to be quite beyond the ken of the hoi polloi, but one must do one’s part for the sake of The Arts. I urge all decent people to link, rate and share my efforts according to the demands of propriety and decorum.

Thank you.