I tossed some insults at Uwe Boll the other day, but Cineris has a better idea than boxing Use Boll: Challenge him to a movie-making competition, which would be a contest where he could not possibly win.
He hasn’t made any movies about games that I care about. I’ve never seen BloodRayne before. I played Alone in the Dark, but I was never very attached to the game itself. Far Cry was already a stupid game when it came to the story and characters, so I don’t know how much worse he’ll be able to make it. Dungeon Siege was more or less a plotless game of stats building and loot harvesting, so I don’t know how anyone could make a movie based on the game in any meaningful way. If you can make a movie from that, then Microsoft Flight Simulator: The Movie can’t be far off. Postal is stupid on purpose for comedic effect. I wonder if he realizes that.
So he hasn’t wronged any titles that I care about. My real fear is that he will. Sooner or later he’ll get his grubby mitts on the rights to some game close to my heart, and there won’t be anything I can do but watch my beloved story get turned into a single-digit scoring movie on the Tomatometer. System Shock, Myst, Dues Ex, and The Longest Journey come to mind.
The Best of 2019
I called 2019 "The Year of corporate Dystopia". Here is a list of the games I thought were interesting or worth talking about that year.
Top 64 Videogames
Lists of 'best games ever' are dumb and annoying. But like a self-loathing hipster I made one anyway.
In Defense of Crunch
Crunch-mode game development isn't good, but sometimes it happens for good reasons.
Bethesda felt the need to jam a morality system into Fallout 3, and they blew it. Good and evil make no sense and the moral compass points sideways.
TitleWhat’s Inside Skinner’s Box?
What is a skinner box, how does it interact with neurotransmitters, and what does it have to do with shooting people in the face for rare loot?