Soldierhawk is back, and we have lots of games to discuss. One of them is even less than 6 years old, because this site is dedicated to bringing you timely and relevant games criticism and positivity!
Show notes: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #224: Spec Ops, Dark Souls, GTA V, WoW”
Yes, I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about the stupid theme. Not to worry. We’re nearly done. As before, I’m putting this stuff up on the weekend when traffic is slower. Also: If something looks off then make sure to do a hard refresh (Ctrl-F5 on most browsers) before complaining about it in the comments. The problem you’re seeing might already be fixed and you’re just not getting it yet.
Here is a list of the major changes:
An additional note is that I’m changing the weekly publishing schedule a bit. The Diecast will still go up on Mondays and Sunday will remain my dumping ground for low-effort postsHi there!. My Escapist column, This Dumb Industry, my GTA retrospective, and Bob’s Witcher series are going to be shuffled around. I think I’ll do This Dumb Industry on Tuesdays, the Escapist on Wednesdays, and retrospectives on Thursdays.
So why do I keep messing with the theme?
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Theme Adjustments”
As we all know, Elves are snooty. They’re usually taller than humans, more elegant than humans, and think they’re sooooo great just because they have pointy ears or whatever.
This is complicated by the fact that, if you take a look at most fantasy worlds, they might just have a point. Usually, if something in the world is an “Elvish _____,” it’s shorthand for quality. Elvish sword? Better than a normal sword. Elvish armor? Better than crap, second-rate human armor. That’s because Elves have several human lifespans’ worth of leisure time to lounge around looking pretty and learning how to make armor just right. Humans, who keel over and die at just about the same time an equivalent elf would be starting their junior year in college, don’t have the time to cultivate that level of skill.
This familiar trope holds true in the Witcher universe, with an unexpected twist. I’ll compare Sapkowski’s Elves (or the Aen Seidhe, at least) to Tolkien’s Elves. In The Lord of the Rings, the time of the Elves is coming to an end, so Elrond and company depart peacefully to vaguely-defined lands in “The West,” which is thematically associated with the sunset, to gracefully and prettily disassociate themselves from this fallen world.
The Aen Seidhe of Sapkowski’s books aren’t given any such opportunity. Though they existed in the Witcher universe before humans ever arrived on their shores, they were eventually overwhelmed and submitted, eventually, to either vassalization or a lower-caste existence. A dwarf (in this case) named Yarpen Zigrin describes their fundamental disadvantage in The Blood of Elves:
“Because you multiply like rabbits.” The dwarf ground his teeth. “You’d do nothing but screw day in day out, without discrimination, with just anyone and anywhere. And it’s enough for your women to just sit on a man’s trousers and it makes their bellies swell… Why have you gone so red, crimson as a poppy? You wanted to know, didn’t you? So you’ve got the honest truth and faithful history of a world where he who shatters the skulls of others most efficiently and swells women’s bellies fastest reigns. And it’s just as hard to compete with you people in murdering as it is in screwing – “
Here’s a fantasy universe stripped of comforting abstraction and rendered in the cold, brutal arithmetic of murdering vs. screwing. Humans are at least the equal of Elves in the former, and their superiors in the latter, so humans have become the dominant species on the continent. No peaceful journey to the West for the Aen Seidhe of the Witcher universe. Instead, a humiliating epilogue of slow, inexorable, infuriating decline.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “The Witcher 3: Snooty Elves”
I’m going to spend a lot of time criticizing Grand Theft Auto V. I know I’ve already tipped my hand in the earlier entries of this series, and you can probably guess what some of my complaints will be: The tone is inconsistent to the point of incoherency. The story structure is endlessly meandering. The humor is broad, lazy, and scattershot. The characters have abrupt and unearned shifts in behavior that the writer tries to pass off as character arcs. Its depiction of California culture is ugly, mean, and oddly shallow. I know other people have covered a lot of this ground before me. I mean, obviously. It’s pretty hard to say something novel when your review shows up five years late to the party.
But I’ve been doing this game critic hustle long enough to know that the first line of defense against these complaints will be, “No Shamus. You just didn’t ‘get’ it. See, this game is actually satire.” So let’s put that point to rest right now.
I’ll admit that this game thinks it’s doing satire. But its not. It’s doing mockery, which is a much less sophisticated form of humor.
Satire is focusing on a target and holding up their follies, abuses, and shortcomings to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself. Sometimes this is done with the aim of offering constructive criticism, and sometimes it’s just done to blow off steam. In contrast, mockery is just depicting something as stupid or evil to show your distaste for it.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Grand Theft Auto V: The Satire Defense”
My column has returned to the Escapist. One of the great things about reaching a new audience is I can whine about stuff that still bothers me but that my regular readers are totally sick of hearing about. With that in mind, this week I’m whining about the circus of random inputs and baffling design decisions that is the No Man’s Sky interface.
Here on the blog, I usually post my “This Dumb Industry” columns on Tuesday. I think I’m going to move TDI to another day of the week so we don’t wind up with both articles going live at the same time.
I’m not sure what to suggest about leaving comments. In the old days, I encouraged people to leave Experienced Points comments on the Escapist. But things are a little janky right now. The comment counters don’t work, so every article claims to have “0 comments”, even though you can click through and see the comments work just fine. I know the team is still working hard on the site and I’m sure details like this will be ironed out soon. In the meantime, feel free to leave comments either here or there. Here is a direct link to the Escapist comments for the column.
Also, I really need to get around to updating the splash image one of these days. I think that picture is about 8 years old. Obviously I’m way more handsome these days because that’s how aging works.
Anyway, I think the deficiencies of the No Man’s Sky interface are clearest when comparing it to Minecraft. I do a bit of that in the column, but let’s explore that idea further… Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Experienced Points: No Man’s Interface”
In the show I claimed we answered ALL mailbag questions. Technically we cut one because neither one of us had anything to say on the topic. Still, the ratio of useful / cut questions usually goes in the other direction so this was a pretty good week for the mailbag. As always, the address is in the header image.
Show notes: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #223: GPU, Linux vs. Windows, Net Neutrality”
Yep. We’re trying the new theme again. It’s the weekend and all the performance problems are sorted out, so now is a good time to put up the theme and see what usability issues we run into. New themes always have a shake-out period as people point out the obscure pages and unexpected use-cases that I never could have discovered on my own.
For the record: I’ve tested this site on Chrome, Firefox, Edge, and my Android phone. The site works full-screen on my 1080p monitor and it continues to work as I shrink the window down to postage-stamp size. It worked in all of those cases, but I know there are a lot of browsers out there and I can’t hope to test them all.
Known issues:
I’m sure there will be problems. Let me know in the comments. If you’re seeing something strange / crazy, please mention what web browser you’re using.
EDIT: Yes, I know it makes you type in your name / email every single time you post a comment. When you do a reply, it jumps to the bottom of the page rather than letting you reply in place. Also you can no longer edit comments. Sadly, these things are not related to the theme change. This is the fault of WordPress, which decided to force GDPR compliance on EVERYONE without asking. I can’t get stupid WordPress to save cookies for anyone. I’ve tried a bunch of different solutions and none of them have any effect. I’m still working on it.
EDIT II: Cookies should work again. Comment editing should work again. If you’re still seeing major faults with the site, make sure to hard refresh (Ctrl-F5 on most browsers) to force the CSS to reload. Browsers are shy about reloading that for some reason. I’m sure there are still problems with the theme, but the big ones should be solved by now.
Why spend millions on visuals that are just a distraction from the REAL game of hotbar-watching?
From the company that brought us Fallout 76 comes a storefront / Steam competitor. It's a work of perfect awfulness. This is a monument to un-usability and anti-features.
How did this niche racing game make a gameworld so massive, and why is that a big deal?
Computers keep getting more powerful. So why do the population caps for massively multiplayer games stay about the same?
A look back at Star Trek, from the Original Series to the Abrams Reboot.
Here are 6 reasons why I forbid political discussions on this site. #4 will amaze you. Or not.
Some advice to game developers on how to stop ruining good stories with bad cutscenes.
An attempt to make a good looking cityscape with nothing but simple tricks and a few rectangles of light.
I called 2019 "The Year of corporate Dystopia". Here is a list of the games I thought were interesting or worth talking about that year.
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2011.
T w e n t y S i d e d
