DM of the Rings CXLIII:
Elfophobic

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Sep 5, 2007

Filed under: DM of the Rings 164 comments


Aragorn makes a proposal.

You can bestow important titles and places of prominence to the player characters in your story. Perhaps you’ll even make one king. But in the end, no matter what you do, that character is going to end up acting just like the idiot sitting across the table from you.

And for crying out loud, this isn’t the ending either. Friday.

 


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164 thoughts on “DM of the Rings CXLIII:
Elfophobic

  1. Evrae says:

    “what do you mean “or”” Classic
    Thanks for all the comics.

  2. Culinte says:

    Had to survive with these jokes made at my poor half-elf’s character’s expense for years. It’s funny when it is someone else. :)

  3. Lonster says:

    Chainmail bikinis sound enticing, but I still think I’m going to miss thought bubbles on movie stills.

  4. Marmot says:

    I felt Gimli’s sorrow in the second panel… :(

  5. Cenobite says:

    Titles don’t matter half as much as the phat loot does.

    “Wherez da lewtz?!?!?”

    “I hate this campaign!!!”

  6. Browncoat says:

    It was a funny strip today, but I expected a bigger bang for the final episode. . .

    :)

  7. Jem says:

    It’s over already? I have great timing. I discovered it last week when searching for legolas pictures on google. Pooh! Why does this always happen! I wish you could make some more, perhaps one about the hobbit book? *sighs*

  8. Jem says:

    I mean, it’s not over yet, but I’m sad that this area is the end.

  9. Shawn says:

    Ha!

    It just occurred to me that I’m listening to the Pet Shop Boys “Go West” as I’m reading this….

  10. vonKreedon says:

    Ok, love Gimli’s “Very funny.” speech bubble floating up from below the frame.

    I can see the wedding now. Maybe Frodo and Sam can make it a double wedding ceremony, that would be so romantic!

  11. khorgor says:

    first post ever on here. and hopefully post number 11 for significance. thanks for the good job. have ebjoyed it.

    expoected a big bang – but hey, most campaigns end this way. so staying truthful to the experience is good also. very well done and good luck

  12. Elisa says:

    very funny. Poor Legolas. Next time he shouldn’t be so pretty.

  13. Twistyarm says:

    Dm gifts are like Christmas… no matter how personalized each reward is, you keep looking over at your cousin’s necklace of fireballs, and wishing you had one.

    Shamus, thanks for helping me and my roleplaying group to rethink how we game. This comic should be required reading in D&D 4.0 (or whatever’s your pref.)
    “…After I’m done marrying the hottest women in the world.” Brilliant.

  14. Big G says:

    I can’t believe how much I enjoyed this series. I actually only started reading it a few weeks ago, so I suppose I don’t have quite the attachment to it that some of the folks that were here from the beginning had, but I am still gonna miss it.

    Funny how my favorite webcomics all center around RPG parody.

  15. Dan says:

    The final Aragorn screen-cap is perfect. What a gleeful jackass!

  16. Jem says:

    Anyway, this was amazing, and I hope that you make more!

  17. I have an elf character I’ve been running for 20 years. He’s slender and weak and has lousy Con (well, the GURPS equivalent). Nobody ever makes comments like that around him. Why? Well, he’s a necromancer, a sadist, and one of the most all around powerful wizards in the land. Any cracks about elves and he’d be happy–nay, grateful for the chance–to torture your character into a more respectful frame of mind. He’ll unscrew the hook from where his right hand was and try a couple of his latest attachments out.

  18. roxysteve says:

    This is what we get as a final episode?

    I feel worse than Gimli does.

    Disgusted of Helms Deep

  19. Salinay says:

    I discovered this comic tonight. And read it tonight. The whole thing. It’s 12:30 am now, and I don’t remember when I started…all I remember is being at http://www.userfriendly.com and reading “roll -2 for productivity”…and now my laptop is at 33% battery power and I need to get up in 4 1/2 hours. Thank you. I enjoyed it.

  20. Arthur says:

    I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to the small matter of Gollum being dead.

  21. Mel says:

    the comic ends FRIDAY guys.

  22. pizzacat83 says:

    Good freaking grief, doesn’t anyone read the text under the comics!? Shamus stated since Monday that the final DMotR comic would be this Friday.

  23. Jochi says:

    Browncoat and RoxySteve:
    Wednesday Friday. Even in America.

    Aragoon couldn’t resist one last jibe at Leggy, of course.

    GM’s still being stingy, sure Legolas is already heir apparent back home, and the only way to improve on that would have been to send his papa West, but Gimli could have been served something, like being given title to Mordor and a platoon of dwarves to help clean it out.

    1. WJS says:

      One single platoon against an entire country? Heh-heh, what?

  24. Nlhero says:

    lol great again, what do you mean with “or”

  25. TimN says:

    I’ve got a great idea! Your next comic could be a compilation made entirely of whinging comments from people who don’t bother to read the bold text at the bottom of the comic. They make your role players look mature as ents.

  26. Jochi says:

    That should read “Wednesday does not equal Friday”. The less than and greater than symbols were edited out.

  27. bobniborg says:

    Great job on the post climax. The OR line is classic.

  28. Al Shiney says:

    Crap, I thought it was over on Monday … now I gotta come back and do this all over again in 2 days for the grand finale.

    Very inconsiderate of you, Shamus. Chainmail Bikini … feh!

    (Note to those with a Sarcasm score of 3 … relax)

  29. Scarlet Knight says:

    roxysteve Says:This is what we get as a final episode?

    Roxysteve, I expected better of you, THIS IS NOT THE FINAL COMIC! For Ulmo’s sake, it ends the 7th! The 7th! The Sevvvveeenth! Sheesh…
    Now where’s my Mountain Dew…

  30. kevin says:

    I’m going to be so sad when I read Friday’s strip. DM of the Ring has been the highlight of my Monday, Wednesday and Friday for months now.

  31. Entropy says:

    “Or”?

    hahahahhahahaha

    *sigh* I’m going to miss this comic.

  32. Jem says:

    Wow, two years now. I just watched the movie for the first time on Wednesday last week!

  33. Jem says:

    *sigh* I'm going to miss this comic.
    -x-
    I know, it’s sad.

  34. Ryan says:

    So, are we going to have a wrap party on Friday?

  35. John ZK says:

    It is nearly as funny watching all these people that think each of these episodes is the last one when Shamus has clearly stated that it will contain the words THE END.

  36. Carl the Bold says:

    Wait! This comic is going to end?!?

  37. Vegedus says:

    Hah! One of the best punchlines yet! Elves are incredibly faggy, true.

  38. Woot Spitum says:

    Legolas and Gimli got gypped.

  39. TheBladeRoden says:

    We must have a “DMpire Strikes Back” comic!

  40. Arbaal says:

    You know Shamus, I feel your pain.

    To all you people who can’t seem to be able to comprehend what you read, It’s been mentioned numerous times that the LAST EPISODE or SERIES FINALE will be on FRIDAY SEPT 7th, 2007! Stop whining about being unhappy with the final strip when it has not yet been uploaded.

    Motto of the Comprehension Gnomes:
    Step 1 – Read
    Step 2 – Engage brain to ponder what was read
    Step 3 – Engage mouth AFTER comprehension sets in

    Motto of the Common Gamer:
    Step 1 – Read
    Step 2 – I dunno (Big shrug of shoulders)
    Step 3 – Bitch and complain thus inserting foot in mouth

  41. Amber says:

    Woot Spitum says: Legolas and Gimli got gypped

    Not if Gimli’s character was still RP’ing… his character would be psyched to go explore caves ; )

  42. Joe says:

    OVER?!?!? You still have both Conan Movies, The robin Hood movie, the three muskateers, Pirates of the caribeen and so much more!!!!!!
    GET BACK TO WORK!!!!
    BAD DM!!!!

  43. Cat Skyfire says:

    I like Aragorn’s little smirk in the last panel…

  44. Aragorn, you are my HERO!!!!! :D

  45. Scarlet Knight says:

    You know, I can imagine a D&D group where they play in the world of “Robin Hood”, but the DM finds one player roleplaying the swashbuckling Errol Flynn version, one the grim “Prince of Thieves” (what do you mean ‘no gunpowder’?), & another the Mel Brook’s “Men in Tights” version.

  46. Sulaco says:

    “What do you mean ‘or'” almost made me do a spit take. Gotta stop reading these at work.

  47. Seracka says:

    Oh, something about that comic just struck my funny bone. Thanks Shamus!

  48. Geoff says:

    Another userfriendly refugee here, productivity thru the floor for today. thanks!!!

  49. Luke (Thrythlind) says:

    let’s see…

    Gimli became a rich merchant…as Galadriel had said, Gold would flow through his hands, but would hold no power over him…and I think he passed his money on to children…

    and Legolas became one of the few Mirkwood Elves to acquire a growing desire to leave Middle Earth and was cursed with a lingering sorrow and dissatisfaction until such time as he left with Gimli, the only dwarf ever to go to the West…

    Gimli made out like a bandit…Legolas got somewhat gypped, unless you include the fact that he gets to move from the category of Dark Elf to Light Elf due to his trip to west…

    Also people forget that Legolas is a prince of his people, in fact, of the three, only Gimli is not royalty

    1. WJS says:

      I don’t remember Gloin’s lineage, but I had thought that Thorin granted titles to his companions, thus Gimli is nobility, if not royalty.

  50. Sarrasanne says:

    I just want to say how much laughter and enjoyment this comic has given me over some months now (EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THE END IS TOMORROW) and how i hope to see a return of the DM very soon :D

  51. Aaron says:

    The screencap of Stonergorn is perhaps the best part of the “or” statement. My assistant came over to check on me because i was choking with laughter lol.

    Can’t wait to see Friday’s!

    A

  52. Mirtul says:

    PRICELESS.

    Too bad it’s going to end on Friday :( Are you planning to create a new comic ?

  53. Zcipher says:

    Hee hee, I actually had a character become the queen of a kingdom in a game once.

    Needless to say the above statement mostly applied. Though in my defense, the DM really should have seen it coming; chaotic good characters put in charge of lawful neutral kingdoms may have slightly different ideas of the rules of civil procedure >.>

  54. Kip says:

    me and 2 other characters took over 2 cities that were warring. We killed the King of the first one and were like “Gimme our loot” and the treasurer was like ” we have stripped the kingdom to hope fully win the war”, so we decided to take care of that for them. and we fought our way to the throne room, found the drunken king sleeping, the cleric opened a dimension door and summoned a deamon to rip him to shreads. while my fighter looted the place and tore apart the guards (literally, a magically enhanced 98 strength is great for ripping people apart)…wait where was I…

    1. James Harrison will taste Manflesh says:

      98 strength? Are you sure you weren’t playing Madden?

  55. Jochi says:

    Zcipher said:
    chaotic good characters put in charge of lawful neutral kingdoms may have slightly different ideas of the rules of civil procedure

    That reminds me of Rober E Howard, King Kull, “By This Axe I Rule” as a case in point. It’s worth finding. FRP has roots OTHER than Tolkein.

  56. Issachar says:

    I had been unreasonably sad that the final DMotR comic wouldn’t be number 150, because I like “milestone” numbers like that.

    But then I realized that it will be number 144, which is the sum of Bilbo’s and Frodo’s combined ages at their famous birthday party — as Bilbo himself points out. (“One gross, if I may use the expression.”)

    A very appropriate number for a Lord of the Rings based comic — although only the DM would know or care about such trivia. :-)

  57. okay! says:

    I’m already having withdrawal anticipating Friday’s end of this series. I would try to make self-medicate by watching the LOTR series, but I’m not sure I can ever look at it the same again.

  58. Shamus says:

    Issachar is the first to notice!

    I actually messed around a bit to make sure we’d hit 144 for the end, and I was feeling disappointed that nobody would notice. :)

  59. Jochi says:

    Kip said:
    a magically enhanced 98 strength is great

    I know I’m going to hate myself for asking this, but what bonuses did you stack to get to 98?

    Or was this a Hero System strength stat, where it would only make you as strong as Superman or the Hulk?

  60. Jochi says:

    Shamus Himself said:
    Issachar is the first to notice!

    Actually, Atanamir got it yesterday at #109. It is a very nice touch, and I’m sure took a bit of finagling.

  61. sashax says:

    I wonder if Aragorn noticed that technically, by his own standards, he would be marrying a lesbian.

  62. Proteus says:

    Thoughts on “DM of the Rings” ending and not being replaced by Dave’s Star Wars game:

    Crap.

    Crap. Crap. Crap.

    Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

    Just my two cents’ of crap.

  63. Cenobite says:

    I wonder if Aragorn noticed that technically, by his own standards, he would be marrying a lesbian.

    What’s wrong with that? It’s every guy’s fantasy.

  64. Dez! says:

    “What do you mean “or”?”

    LOL

    Never were truer words spoken!

    Thanks for all the laughs over the last 12 months Shamus!!

    D!

  65. haashaastaak says:

    so many comments, so little time. I remembered that this wasn’t the last strip. Besides, it doesn’t have that “farting at the end of an epic” feel that I expect from this set of player characters. I have enjoyed this immensely and I’m sure I’ll feel the same after reading the last episode.

  66. beno says:

    You _know_ there’s going to be a race on for first-last-post…

  67. wowzaa says:

    I’m sure shamus will think of something
    Hear me shamus? Think of something

  68. SteveDJ says:

    Shamus,

    As this comic is coming to an end on Friday, there is something that I’d like to ask you to fix. Way back in January, you created a post of an Unusable Strip:

    http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=905

    Could you please, please, move this into the DMotR category, into position where it would have existed had you actually made it? For all these people that found the comic more recently, they are missing out on a great piece you wrote, even if it wasn’t actually made into a strip.

    I wouldn’t have asked, except that you went ahead and placed those other filler strips into this category too, so now I think it would be appropriate to relocate that unused strip post into the DMotR category. You know, for archival completeness and all. :)

    Many, many thanks for a wonderful laugh 3x a week. I, too, am going to miss this strip.

  69. Wtrmute says:

    Also people forget that Legolas is a prince of his people, in fact, of the three, only Gimli is not royalty

    Correct, Legolas is (a) son of Thranduil, King of Greenwood the Great. Although Gimli is the son of Glóin, who was a third cousin to both Thorin II Oakenshield and Dain II Ironfoot, Kings Under the Mountain, and first cousin to Balin, Lord of Moria. So while Gimli may not be royalty, he’s still high nobility among the children of Dwarves — as much as a Duke or a Count.

    As for the strip, it’s great as usual, if juvenile. Then again, what else can we expect from Aragoon? ;)

  70. Caius says:

    At least the characters are Frodo.

    You travel to a land in which you cant die full of ambiguous looking elves, all of which who resent you for being the only non elf. Oh, and you get to take care of your senile cousin Bilbo for eternity. And no, you cant put him in a home. (Better put some skill points in sponge bath.)

  71. Maverick says:

    ‘What do you mean or?’ I love you shamus! (just not in the elf way). Finaly! someone else who knows there is there is know differnce between elfs and ‘Guys who bat for the other team’.
    I am going to miss this comic.

  72. Nogard Codesmith says:

    Shamus, I am so sad to see this story on the very edge of its closure… and sorry that i havnt been able to get in here and kibitz with everyone for the last ver comics, but i really have to say, the last few comics have been right up there with the rest in quality, and the fortune cookie at the end of today’s is SO TRUE!

    Thank you so much for all the work you have put into this comic. I will be sad to see it go, but am looking forward to your next work with great anticipation.

  73. Raved Thrad says:

    Oh, man, that last panel was funny as hell. “What do you mean ‘or’?” — excellent line.

    So, what *does* happen to Gimli and Legolas? I noticed that they haven’t tried to force Aragorn into sharing the loot yet. Maybe Aragorn just isn’t into moresomes? I’m sure elves and dwarves have tried it at one time or another — lives that long aren’t designed to be wasted on monogamy.

  74. ArchU says:

    I can’t think of a worse fate for Gimli.

  75. TBau says:

    Thank you Shamus for an amazing comic that can make me forget about the heaping pile of crap that Goblins has become. I will make it a point to re-read the whole story when its over.

  76. Laura says:

    Man, that fits all of them perfectly. I can’t believe it’s almost over!

  77. TalrogSmash says:

    I can’t believe that after all this time…

    Colin is still allowed to post.

    Anyways, baited breath; i await the end with thee.

  78. Vardav says:

    I love this comic and passed it on to my fellows in our Tolkien fan club and gamers group, adding it to the Links in our website. Thank you Shamus.

    Gimli became Lord of the Glittering Caves in Rohan.
    Legolas brought Mirkwood Elves to the forest of Ithilien in Gondor where he founded an Elf colony. He remained prince of Mirkwood, but its tough to become king when your dad is immortal.
    Both helped Aragorn rebuild Minas Tirith bigger, better, although one hopes not faster.
    After Aragorn’s death, Legolas built a grey ship and he took Gimli with him sailing to Valinor.
    We are looking forward to Shamus’ version of the end! 144 indeed! hehe

  79. Lycoris says:

    Heeeey … are you dragging out the ending the way the movie did? XD

  80. Pwyll says:

    I’m terribly sad about this comic ending, as it has given me much enjoyment over the last several months.

    Jochi, “By This Axe I Rule”, though a fine Howard story, compares poorly to some of his best Conan stories, including “The Phoenix on the Sword,” which was his first published Conan story and was, in fact a re-write of “By This Axe I Rule.”

  81. Angharad says:

    TalrogSmash (#78)…

    FYI, it’s “bated breath”. Forgive me for being a stickler, but it’s one of my pet peeves. Y’all have DM stories, I have ungodly-poor-spelling-and-punctuation stories.

    I’m just glad dice have numbers.

    Shamus, you rock on so many levels. Not the least of such being that you can spell, punctuate, and compose a complete sentence. Will you marry me?

  82. Merodym says:

    I have read this comic since nearly the very beginning. Yes, I have lurked forever, and spent many a night enjoying the artistry, word-smithery and the effort placed herein. As with the winning of the lottery, the end of an era such as this will clearly draw unspoken fans -or perhaps long unknown relatives- out of the woodwork.

    Thank you for all your time and effort, sir. I have enjoyed your take on an old and proud tradition. Shortly, I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps to become a leader of the few and proud, and will not be able to read any webcomics for a while. But rest assured that when I am again at liberty to do so, I will eagerly look for any projects you have graced us with.

    Again, thank you.

  83. Ninja says:

    I love how Aragoon is looking down at Gimli in the 3rd panel.
    And the ‘or’ was priceless.
    Sheer gold.
    GOLD.

    I await the end, but hope you suddenly change your mind about Chainmail Bikini.
    Come on.
    Star Wars beckons…

  84. Gadush Kraun says:

    Yes gimli, but this time instead of fighting orcs, maybe there will be some variety. Seeing as it has nothing to do with the campaign!

  85. I can’t believe it’s almost over.

    I will keep DMotR bookmarked, to reread whenever I’m feeling a bit down, and I look forward to your next project, Shamus.

  86. oldschoolGM says:

    Very funny stuff.

    So, this is the last one right? *ducks*

  87. Chadhulhu says:

    it is very sad that the strip is ending Friday, Great work Shamus.

  88. boingophile says:

    can’t wait to see what you do with a screencap of that REALLY gay moment between Sam and Frodo at the end of the movie when they’ve gone back to the Shire… That sly look that little minx Sam gives off to Frodo. I remember seeing that in the theater and damn near shooting Mr. Pibb out my nose (because they’re bastards who don’t sell Dr. Pepper).

  89. Clyde says:

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, eh, Aragorn?

  90. I just found this webcomic a few days ago. In before the end! Excellent work, Shamus. I look forward to your next project.

  91. Phil says:

    And after all that the DM managed to resist mentioning that Legolas and Gimli eventually sail off into the sunset together?

    Though maybe he just wanted to resist giving Aragorn the chance to smirk and say “Hello sailors!”… ;)

  92. AlanH says:

    Superb Shamus, thank you.

    It will be a sad day on Friday for all of us readers when this saga comes to an end. I am sure the Chainmail Bikini will be a ripper of a project, but I will join the clamoring throngs and plead for a Star Wars strip.

  93. vic says:

    All Campains end in a kind of dissapointing way. even if it is a perfect ending for a perfect questline, its still OVER. thats how i feel about this comic (or the one for friday anyway.

  94. Tristan says:

    Great job! I’m sad that it will be ending really soon *Sob* I’ll miss you all!

  95. Scarlet Knight says:

    FYI, it's “baited breath”. He had sushi for lunch…

  96. Rex Venom says:

    Amazing.
    Thank you.
    Rock on.

  97. Dan says:

    Hilarious. “After I’m done marrying the hottest woman in the world.” :-)

  98. I love the comic and I can’t wait till Friday to see the spectacular spectical that the ending will be.

    FIRST POST!

  99. Jochi says:

    [email protected]:
    No argument, Howard got better with experience. I contend he and CA Smith both wrote Lovecraft way better than Lovecraft ever did.

    I just thought the story very neatly encapsulated a CG character trying to rule a LN society, choosing right over law and daring anyone to challenge it. And does it better than the Conan rewrite.

    Not as much as the comic, not more anyway, but I’m going to miss these discussions, too.

    And as far as the DM’s ignoring L and G, A COULD take matters into his own hands, appointing them ambassadors plenipo to wherever the hell he feels like. If his player were smart and erudite enough.

  100. Nlhero says:

    That aint the first post :p I would really miss this comic if it comes to an end :(

  101. roxysteve says:

    Browncoat Says:
    It was a funny strip today, but I expected a bigger bang for the final episode. . .

    You and me both. What a total gyp!
    I dunno about you, but I want my money back.

    Disgusted of Minas Tirith

  102. roxysteve says:

    Angharad Says:
    TalrogSmash (#78)…

    FYI, it's “bated breath”. Forgive me for being a stickler, but it's one of my pet peeves. Y'all have DM stories, I have ungodly-poor-spelling-and-punctuation stories.

    Not if you’ve just eaten a maggot’n’chum sandwich it ain’t.

    Steve.

  103. roxysteve says:

    Arbaal Says:
    You know Shamus, I feel your pain.

    To all you people who can't seem to be able to comprehend what you read,

    Your irony detector seems to be malfunctioning. Just thought I’d mention.

    Disgusted of Hobbiton-on-the-Weald

  104. Thenodrin says:

    You know, it occurs to me that if people want to see a screen-cap Star Wars comic done in the style of DM of the Rings, it can be done even if Shamus doesn’t want to do it.

    Shamus, would you be offended if one of us picked up the torch and tried to emulate your style?

    Theno

  105. Darth Vader says:

    Hey, Shamous… great comic, but… what will do you next?

    Please, could you do a D20-Star-Wars-Comic (at best, the old movies)?

    That would really rock. ;)

  106. superfluousk says:

    I must say, not that I object to the way this comic is ending, just to the pacing. I think that this needed to be a few comics longer. Just the outrage over the killstealing, for example, deserved a comic of its own — the final injustice on this campaign. And then the players announcing their quits and the DM scrambling to bribe them back to be its own comics.

    Oh well, I guess Shamus has his reasons. Waiting to see what the last punchline will be.

  107. roxysteve says:

    Shaumus has inspired me, shown me the way and gotten the old creative juices flowing!

    I plan to do a screencap comic of this comic, once it is finished.

    Steve.

  108. Obfuscato says:

    #32 Jem said:
    Wow, two years now. I just watched the movie for the first time on Wednesday last week!

    Wha? There’s a movie of this, you say? Like, done with all three books? Wow.

    You know, it would be funny if somebody took screencaps from the movie and . . .

  109. Guido says:

    But it’s Friday already! You toy with my heart, Shamus!

    –Guido

  110. jbravodude says:

    >>>17 Purple Library Guy Says:
    September 5th, 2007 at 11:24 am

    I have an elf character I've been running for 20 years. He's slender and weak and has lousy Con (well, the GURPS equivalent). Nobody ever makes comments like that around him. Why? Well, he's a necromancer, a sadist, and one of the most all around powerful wizards in the land. Any cracks about elves and he'd be happy”“nay, grateful for the chance”“to torture your character into a more respectful frame of mind. He'll unscrew the hook from where his right hand was and try a couple of his latest attachments out.

    Hmm, so judging from this comment, you’re one of those gamers who “live” their character, cry if they get hurt, and feel everyone should be impressed by the “virtual” power they possess. These are the gamers that annoy the rest of us. Its okay to like the character a bit, but 20 years long? Get a life. Oh, and by the way, a DnD character torturing another is still imaginary. In the end do you really think we’re scared? Not likely.

    Shamus, great comic, dreading Friday coming up even though I can’t wait to see how you end it. This ought to be truly enjoyable, just as the entire series has been. Thanks for all the laughs.

  111. Scarlet Knight says:

    roxysteve Says:”I plan to do a screencap comic of this comic, once it is finished.”

    Ooooh ! Ooooh! Can I play Colin? *Ahem* PUMP! No, no , I’ll get it; Limp! (No, once more with feeling) PIMP!

  112. Jochi says:

    [email protected] sez:
    “Your irony detector seems to be malfunctioning. Just thought I'd mention.”

    Apparently true of several of us, including me. Sorry I failed my spot check.

  113. Dee says:

    Shamus–

    Thanks so much for your wonderful webcomic. I’ve been a gamer and a LOTR fan for more years than I like to admit (and I’ve been snarky for even longer) so DM of the Rings was heaven!

    I’ll be looking forward to “Chainmail Bikinis”–good luck with the new venture.

  114. roxysteve says:

    This comic will only truly be said to have “arrived” when Bo Hansson makes a concept album about it.

    Steve.

  115. roxysteve says:

    [Scarlet Ker-nigget] Sure buddy. You can totally be Colin if you want.

    :o)

    Sorry for not noticing you’d already made the “baited breath” joke first. I’d have sat on my hands if I’d seen #96 before I did #103. Of course, I only say that because Shamus refused my bribe to switch our posts. On the bright side, that’s 3 bux I’ve saved today.

    Steve.

  116. fair_n_hite_451 says:

    If Scarlet Knight gets his lines right and gets to play Colin, I’m so trying out for the voice of the narrator in roxysteve’s webcomic of the webcomic of the Star Wars movies.

    “Right. So, you had Han Solo offer to ‘pop a shrimp on the barbie’ to the Imperial Guards. They look at you in confusion, pull out blasters, and shoot you full of more holes than a Kiwi sheep’s fishnet stockings on a Sunday morning. Too bad about the princess you were supposed to rescue.”

    Wait what? That makes no sense.

    Last post!

  117. roxysteve says:

    fair_n_hite_451 Says:
    If Scarlet Knight gets his lines right and gets to play Colin, I'm so trying out for the voice of the narrator in roxysteve's webcomic of the webcomic of the Star Wars movies.

    The material in the comic does not lend itself to a Star Wars adaptation, and in any case I plan to aim higher.

    What is needed here is a storyline of great gravitas, one with much in common with real life so that the reader may take from it life lessons to grow on.

    Such a high goal requires that the overarching meta theme be couched in a game system far more flexible, relevant and playable than the archaic Dungeons and Dragons concept retooled for the crippled and cliché-riddled D20 game system.

    I am, of course, planning to tell the story in the context of a Judge Dredd game.

    Steve.

  118. Bill says:

    I’ve spent two whole days reading this strip from beginning to end, and I’ve commented twice along the way. Every time, the captcha is the same: “d20”.

    I hate this campaign.

  119. Klaz says:

    Hilarious comic… I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. Maybe at the day of the end strip you can put all past strips on a .zip for download? You know, for the fans.

  120. felicia says:

    I was only refered to this comic this week, and after three straight days of reading the archives (and getting very little work done), I am sad to see that the comic will be ending tomorrow.

    Shamus, your insights on gamers is dead-on. I’m so glad to be gaming with more mature players and complex, yet interesting plots. Bravo.

  121. dr. duck says:

    Damn. Friday?
    this is as hard as knowing that after ROTK came out, every Christmas movie season in the future would be bleakened by the lack of a new installment … *sob*

  122. Rain says:

    Friday! It’s friday! 28 minutes past friday! oh damn you clock switching foreigners! Why can’t we all just use CET.

    hmmm. And now time for something completely different; or well… not monty python related, but still one of the most abused movie lines in d&d… It’s good to be the king!

  123. Its five o’clock (a.m.) somewhere …

  124. Doug Williams says:

    Gimli’s simmering indignation is great! His expression reminds me of an old Dating Game episode when the emcee told the couple they’d be taking a fabulous all-expense paid trip to–Moscow!!! In NOVEMBER!!!!

  125. Four Color says:

    Thanks for all of the laughs, especially for the parade of skulls! w00t! -fch

  126. 'tarako says:

    ‘It’s midnight here, so now we’re into the final hours…

  127. Jem says:

    *gulps* I can’t wait for it! *feels sad*

  128. 'tarako says:

    ‘What time is it normally posted? and i wonder how many people are watching this page like a hawk…

  129. Maverick says:

    Its 8:50 in England, so is nearly 1 in the Morning in the Usa, so pretty much Friday everywhere. So where is the last EVER Dm of the Rings comic i ask? WHERE? [/insane speach] [Insanenss]…

  130. Ninja says:

    Okay…
    If he IS on time, he’ll post it within the next 8 hours.
    Eight hours.
    Gotta remember that.
    Gotta…survive…8…hours…

  131. nFec says:

    ITS FRIDAY DAMNIT.
    I seriously can’t wait :)

  132. Shamus says:

    The comic has ALWAYS gone live at noon, east coast USA. (GMT -5) This one will be no different.

    Yes, I’m up late. (4am) Big day today. I’m excited.

  133. Dan says:

    You’re up late because you haven’t finished the last comic, have you? Go on… admit it!

  134. Ste says:

    Hello Shamus! Thanks a lot for your work, it was wonderful to read and share this heavy amount of fun with my friends.
    I live and study in Austria, but I’m french. Btw, the french version is extremely well done. And I must say, I love both comics (yours and the traduction) ’cause the jokes and expressions are sometimes unique!

    I’m eager to read your last strip. ^^
    Good night and “bonne continuation”. Ste.

  135. Tom says:

    Thank you, Shamus–I’ve really enjoyed this comic, and am looking forward to your next one! Roll on, noon! :-)

  136. Mark says:

    It’s Saturday here already (NZ).

    Get on with it!

    ;)

  137. FakeFrenchie says:

    Ste.: There’s a French version? Where?

    Damn! I was waiting until the last strip to post. Great job, Shamus!

  138. Salinay says:

    3 hours 24 minutes to go… I wonder: can we order the complete book in paperback on amazon.com at midnight too, or how much of a delay until it comes out?

  139. Matthias says:

    “You can bestow important titles and places of prominence to the player characters in your story. Perhaps you'll even make one king. But in the end, no matter what you do, that character is going to end up acting just like the idiot sitting across the table from you.”

    *sigh* So true.

  140. Scarlet Knight says:

    Stephen M (Ethesis) Says:Its five o'clock (a.m.) somewhere …

    It’s ALWAYS five in Margaritaville…probably also in Valhalla…

  141. Byte says:

    Well, were is it, now?

  142. Salinay says:

    I claim 144th post. 2 hours, 11 minutes to go.

  143. fair_n_hite_451 says:

    roxysteve said:

    [QUOTE]I am, of course, planning to tell the story in the context of a Judge Dredd game.

    Steve.
    [/QUOTE]

    Hmm. At least as the narrator, I won’t have to fit into all that metal/leather combo stuff … unless you’re planning on doing the “outside the panels down the left of the page” figure for the role doing the exposition and scene setting. If so, I’d like to request a stunt double. Because otherwise the overhang from my developing buddha belly might obscure the crafty wit you have planned for the middle panels.

    CrS

  144. fair_n_hite_451 says:

    Curses. My kingdom for a preview button. ;-(

  145. FakeFrenchie Says:
    Ste.: There's a French version? Where?

    => The french version is up there
    http://www.leludiste.fr/infos/index.php?id=668

    We’ve already posted 53 strips. sO we still have a good way to go to see the end

  146. Nira de Toryll says:

    “expoected a big bang” (Khorgor)

    Well with all these weddings there still could be.

    Elf characters always get the abuse. It sucks. =[

    Good comic though! I’m gonna miss it sooooooooo much!

  147. Kip says:

    Jochi Said:
    “Kip said:
    a magically enhanced 98 strength is great

    I know I'm going to hate myself for asking this, but what bonuses did you stack to get to 98?”

    Getting tons of money reading tons of tomes, a wish (strength doubled), belt of giant strength +4, Ioun stones, and I was a Dragon Disciple. (half orc half dwarf fighter/Dragon Disciple/sorcerer (it was at the DMs urging i took those classes, I just wanted to be a barbarian))

  148. mocking bird says:

    Excellent ‘or’. The ‘I hate elves’ cadre grows and grows.
    We all know Legomyass likes bears.

    Too bad there wasn’t a way to slip in a ‘We are family’ montage in Rivendell with some pics from Pricilla Queen of the Desert.

  149. Thenodrin says:

    Kip,

    While I’m sure that a Str 98 is cool under your House Rules, it isn’t D20 RAW (Rules As Written) legal.

    Assuming you started with an 18 STR, and got a +2 for being a half orc, +4 for being at least a 4th level Dragon Disciple, and +5 for being 20th level, you could get a +6 enhancement bonus from a Belt of Strength, and either a +5 inherent bonus from a Tome or from 5 Wish spells cast in quick succession (or 15 cast over time.)

    That’s a Str of 40, not 98. And, I can’t think of any way to get it higher by the RAW.

    You mention multiple tomes? Inherent bonuses don’t stack, you get the biggest bonus.

    You say that a wish doubled your Str score? No, there are limitations to the Wish spell. It can grant a +1 inherent bonus. Multiple wishes can raise this to a max of +5. But, again inherent bonuses don’t stack and if you have the cash you mention, it’s easier to just get a Tome +5.

    Ioun Stones give a +2 enhancement bonus, and enhancement bonuses don’t stack. Your +6 belt would be the larger bonus.

    Now, you could have a House Rule that all bonuses stack. House Rules trump RAW for your game. But, it isn’t fair to compare your character to characters in other campaigns that don’t use your House Rules, and might be using the RAW. It would be more fair to simply say “House Rules” than to list the bonuses your character has, because then someone who knows the RAW is going to point out how those bonuses don’t stack.

    Theno

  150. Kip says:

    I wasn’t comparing anything, I was telling a story.

    And yes our house rules allow them to stack. especially at level 62.

  151. Kip says:

    and wish spells bestowed on a character by a pantheon of gods, for killing an evil god, have pretty much infinite power, logicly speaking.

  152. Jochi says:

    I had considered a Size bonus (growth spells from Medium to Colossal) giving a +8, but I’m not that familar with Dragon Disciple.

    But I knew I’d hate the answer. Roleplaying is dead, heroism is dead, it’s all about amassing power beyond what the rules can stand. Not that I expected roleplaying from the description of the party’s actions. And let’s not talk “logical” when a pantheon with that kind of power didn’t just do the deed themselves. Or was the whole point showing the cowardly ‘gods’ they had created a worse monster than the one they had arranged to have destroyed?

  153. Level 62?
    Yeah, that answers all the questions I had.
    Assuming an average of 13 encounters per level to attain the next experience level (DMG p. 41) and assuming the average encounter takes a minimum 20 minutes to initiate & resolve, and giving even just 10 minutes of ‘down time’ between encounters, that’s 6.5 hours per level. That’s almost 400 hours to get to the alleged level, even at a sprinter’s pace.
    That might be acceptable in Everquest or World of Warcraft, but that is not the norm for table-top RPGs. This is a classic example of a Monty Haul campaign. I’m glad you’re having fun, Kip, but that’s not D&D. That’s simply plugging in cheat codes & hacks to get a ‘God’ character.

  154. Kip says:

    we started the campaign at 20th level, then the DM basicly power leveled us, I just went along with what he said, his games were shit except when we could hijack them (that was one such time), and most of the time we went along with him so he wouldn’t bitch and moan. He is a great Vampire GM, but sucks at D&D. Currently we are playing a campaign and I am a level 1 rogue, which I have been for 8 weeks (roughly 30 hours) everyone else is either level 3 or higher. I don’t power game, I play my character, but I can’t help the way some highschooler DMs his games.

  155. Logan says:

    “What do you mean by OR” Greatness!! Keep ’em Coming!!

  156. Cynder says:

    Excellant!! Truley awesome XD

    And I was TOTALLY waiting for this moment…this one goes amongst the favourites!! :)

  157. Filcha says:

    This time Shamus’ comments at the end of the strip win hands down!

  158. j.smith says:

    The guy in the fourth panel has the white tree growing out of his head!

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