Fizzle for Freedom!

By Shamus Posted Sunday Jul 5, 2009

Filed under: Movies 91 comments

Fireworks (by which I mean real, honest, red-blooded, all-American, blow-off-your-fingers fireworks) are illegal in my home state of Pennsylvania. So we celebrate our throwing off of an oppressive regime by obeying the clucking of a pedantic and infantile bureaucracy. We do this by holding sparklers a safe distance from our eyes and being careful not to inhale any smoke from those little black snake things. If irony were flammable, we could celebrate the 4th of July with a mushroom cloud big enough to be seen all the way over in Philadelphia.

Actually, most people in my area drive over the border and buy their real fireworks from those dangerous arms dealers in Ohio, where they are still allowed to recklessly sell you the forbidden secrets of fire.

James Lileks takes a look at some common fireworks packaging:

It hurts because it’s true. And also because I have third degree sparkler burns.

Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans. To our Canadian friends: Sorry about missing Canada day. Hope you had a great one as well.

To everyone else: What is the big nation-specific holiday you celebrate in your country, and is blowing things up part of the tradition?

 


 

What’s up this week

By Shamus Posted Sunday Jul 5, 2009

Filed under: Personal 24 comments

A few people have nudged me, wondering why I haven’t been posting about X or Y lately. It’s been a couple of weeks since a game review, and months since my last post on tabletop gaming. The truth is that I have a couple of background projects going on that are eating into the time I usually spend on this site.

1) I have an interactive fiction game that I’ve written. It’s a satirical text-based “FPS”. It’s been hovering at 95% done for ages now, and investing more hours doesn’t seem to move it past that 95% mark.

2) I have some other fiction I’m writing. I don’t know where I’m going with it, but I’m sure you know the feeling of getting an idea stuck in your head and needing to get it out, no matter what that does to your productivity. It’s a big project and I don’t know if I’ll finish it, so I’m not keen on posting it. The last thing I want is to leave everyone hanging with an abandoned project.

3) I’m doing a little programming. I have discovered the joys of SDL. I cannot say enough good things about it. I don’t think I’ll ever write another Windows-specific program again. Programs written using SDL are smaller (less Windows boilerplate) cleaner (the structure of a Windows program is generally “sprawling”) and (ostensibly) cross platform. Hooking it up to OpenGL is a breeze. I haven’t been writing about it, because articles like, “today I learned to handle keyboard input” do not make for a thrilling narrative.

4) As always, I have the day job, the comic, the Escapist column, and the family. But not in that order.

5) Gotta play games in order to feed the column, the website, and comic. Pity me, for I am a martyr to my art!

When I need to steal some time, this website is the first place I go to get it. I can cut into the hours I spend here without impacting my income, which – I hope you’ll forgive me – is becoming increasingly important these days. As the next seal is opened on the coming jobocalypse, I am grateful to have a job and a half in a time when so many people have none. Ergo, I’d like very much to maintain them both while feigning some level of professionalism.

The good news is that I actually do have a post on tabletop gaming coming this week. And some game review stuff. And nothing about Michael Jackson!

 


 

Living with First-Person Shooter Disease

By Shamus Posted Saturday Jul 4, 2009

Filed under: Movies 27 comments

Here’s to finding a cure, in our time…


Link (YouTube)

 


 

Experienced Points: Fitness Gaming

By Shamus Posted Friday Jul 3, 2009

Filed under: Column 16 comments

A little over two years ago I talked about how gaming and exercise could be combined. At the time I was thinking you would need a big piece of exercise equipment to plug into your console. I still think it would be a good idea, and I’d personally still buy it, but now that I’ve tried WiiFit I see that combining the motion-driven action gameplay with the WiiFit board would be even more elegant. This week’s column at the Escapist is about that idea, and why I think it’s a winner.

 


 

Stolen Pixels #104: Left 4 Dumb, Part 20

By Shamus Posted Friday Jul 3, 2009

Filed under: Column 12 comments

Valve’s eventual DLC for Left 4 Dead is bound to disappoint someone, because we all want different things.

 


 

Moon Landing: Special Edition

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jul 1, 2009

Filed under: Rants 71 comments

So the word is out that super-special, high-definition version of the original moon landing tapes have been… found?

That is… unexpected. But this is what really caught my eye:

Crucially, [these new tapes] could once and for all dispel 40 years of wild conspiracy theories.

raiders.jpg
Actually, no. I’ve read the theories, and the deniers aren’t upset about the quality of the videos, but the content of them and the details surrounding them. Each side has an answer for the other, and I can’t imagine how higher resolution will settle any of the long-standing arguments. This is just going to give them new high-def footage to obsess over and a fresh batch of oddball facts to add to the list. This whole “found tapes” business is extremely fishy, and even though I don’t doubt that the moon landings took place, I have to say I feel like I’m missing something when I hear about these new tapes.

  • These original tapes were reportedly “lost as soon as they were made”, which doesn’t make a lot of sense. Someone put those tapes away. There couldn’t have been that many people in Parkes that would have handled them. They keep saying “tapes”, but of course the footage of the disembarking Armstrong is all on one tape, a recording of an exceedingly famous event. How does something like that get lost at all? The guy who pulled the tape out of the clanking steam-powered tape-maker they used way back in the savage 1960’s had to have been aware of what he had in his hand.
  • Okay, they got lost. This is a government operation, after all. But how did they stay lost for 40 years? The guy who pulled the tape never spoke up? Did someone put them in a box next to the Ark of the Covenant and then have a heart attack? This is arguably the most valuable footage human beings have ever shot. To reuse an old but appropriate phrase: We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t keep track of our old VHS cassettes? And we don’t make backups?
  • And suddenly the tapes are found, just in time for the 40th anniversary. As I’m sure the conspiracy theorists will say How conveeeenient.
  • Word has gotten out, but the tapes haven’t been officially announced yet, and instead they’re giving coy non-denials. This does not help their case. This is science, and being transparent and open with your data is more important than politics and public relations. The deniers claim the US faked the moon landings for bragging rights. And now we’re going to suddenly release a fresh batch of data, 40 years after the fact, and it’s being treated by a publicity stunt by NASA.

    I’m half expecting them to do a big George Lucas “Digitally Remastered” release in full color and surround sound.


Link (YouTube)
I’ll say this a second time just to make sure we’re clear on this point: I don’t doubt that the moon landings happened.

My uncle was involved in the program, and built some minor whoozit for the lander. There were a lot of people on that project. The idea that so many engineers could keep a secret (lie) for their entire lives (I’ll bet over half of them are dead now) is just ridiculous. (Engineers lie about as well as politicians can identify the load-bearing members on the unneeded bridge they had built in their district.) Compare the deceptive prowess of those hundreds of engineers with (say) the way the government is always leaking secrets held by small groups of spies and politicians. Having said this, the whole business with the lost tapes is more than a little fishy. This is not going to soothe the skeptics at all. It will do the very opposite, and give them a few more items on their laundry list of objections.

I do look forward to seeing the footage released. I would be very surprised of Google didn’t put it up a nice HD version for us all to gawk at.

I filed this post under “rants”. I’m not sure who I’m ranting against. The skeptics and their absurd conspiracy of thousands? NASA and their bumbling, tin-eared, PR-focused response to the skeptics? Myself for giving the skeptics yet more attention? I don’t know. I think I’m just ranting at the situation in general, which will go on annoying us for years to come. And also because I’m eager to see the new footage and I can’t yet.

UPDATE: Now it is suggested that the story is a hoax. Disappointing, but a lot more believable. Perhaps this is for the best. At least we don’t have to worry about NASA adding footage of Greedo shooting first.

 


 

Stolen Pixels: Left 4 Dumb, Part 19

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jun 30, 2009

Filed under: Column 11 comments

Inappropriate invasions of personal space? WILL THE HORRORS OF THE APOCALYPSE NEVER END?!?

Eh. Maybe.