At great personal cost and after many salt tears, I’ve passed the fifth level of Battlespire. At last that purgatorial desert of corruption, pain, and empty fugue-lives falls behind me; ahead is the Promised Land, a garden metropolis where savegames may be plucked from hanging vines and death means nothing at all. I strike my first new save in weeks, its name reflecting my summery mood.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Rutskarn vs. Battlespire CH30: Through the Sucking Glass”
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my misadventures with the Windows 10 Store, and how trying to conduct a simple transaction had screwed up my computer. Some people quite reasonably pointed out that my complaints were more focused on the problems with the operating system than with the store, so my comparisons to Steam were unfair.
Okay then. Let’s ignore all the horribleness of the Anniversary Update and focus on the store. Let’s try to buy Forza 3 Horizon.
When I search the store for Forza 3, this is where it takes me:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “This Dumb Industry: Windows 10 Store, Round 2”
I really wanted to do more emails this week. We had some good ones lined up, but we ran short on time. Assuming there isn’t any huge news in the coming week, we’ll try again next episode.
Show Notes: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #171: More Mumbles, Halloween Horror Nights, Dragon Age Inquisition, Mailbag”
“Hello good sir! Do you have a moment?”, a bald man interrupts.
Master Norman and I are getting ready to leave town for a bit and scout out the nearby Fargodeep mine. We’re both anxious to get out of the madhouse that is Goldshire, but apparently Norman can’t resist a plea for help.
“Sure! What can I do for you?”, Norman says cheerily. I’m used to his goody-two-shoes act by now, so I only growl a little when he says this.
William Pestle gives us the run-down, “My brother and I run an apothecary in Stormwind, and I’m here to gather large candles for their wax. Can you help me?”
“Yes indeed!” Norman says, and he produces about a dozen small candles from his pack.
“Oh no. These won’t do,” the man says. “I need large candles.”
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Shamus Plays WoW #5: Enemy Mine”
Link (YouTube) |
“You know, the story of this place is kind of interesting if you read the computer terminals,” is probably the saddest thing to hear about an area of this game. It means someone actually came up with a good story, but nobody was willing to make it PART OF THE WORLD. Why? I dunno. I guess they spent all their voice acting budget on the moronic main story.
To be fair, it’s possible that the terminal story would fall apart once it was converted into stilted dialog from dead-eyed characters and the player couldn’t react to the dialog in any way except to choose from one of four lame responses to continue the conversation. Maybe the problem with the story in this game isn’t the story, but the terrible presentation.
Anyway… Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Fallout 4 EP45: Brotherhood of SEALs”
You may remember that last week I was heading upstairs to fight the level’s main antagonist. I left off without saying how it went, so let me set your anxieties at ease: everything went successfully. It was a white-knuckle struggle where every move counted, and at one point I was sure I wasn’t going to make it, but with grit and determination I successfully managed to climb that stairwell without getting stuck in the geometry.
So now that we’re past the hard part, let’s deal with Sugar Pie Herne Bun over here.
I really am going to have to deal with this guy. When I climbed up the hatch to the walltop it told me my trapdoor’s stuck itself, and the only way down is currently underneath his cloven ass-kicker feet. Besides, he’s got the last key I need to get off the level.
Unavoidable combat? Check.
Still can’t save my game? Check.
Guess that means it’s time to lotion up.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Ruts vs. Battlespire CH29: Cahmel’s Last Last Stand”
Link (YouTube) |
Why does Fallout 4 have a pre-war protagonist? It’s very expensive in terms of story resources and offers nothing but a weak twist.
Our character is different from everyone else in this game’s world. Shaun was an infant for a few months of your timeline, and ghouls have creaky memories of the before-times, but we are the only person on Earth to have closed our eyes on the pre-war world and opened them on a Boschian nightmare. This premise is a big deal. Every conversation and scenario is loaded with the understanding that we are from a different time, a comfortable time–a time that almost made sense. Upkeep on this idea is paid by repeatedly bringing it up, and when it isn’t paid there’s awkward and conspicuous holes in conversations. I’d say Fallout 4 pays upkeep about half the time.
The payoff on all this ought to be that we have some unique perspective on the game’s central conflict. That’s usually why games have bother with elaborate outsider origins for protagonists. Tidus is the perfect antidote to Spira’s dogma because he comes from a time before people compromised. In Alpha Protocol, there’s a very long tutorial area to establish that you’re a promising agent who’s been burned by his country–which does pay off, because the idea that you’re a hunted rogue agent adds drama and intrigue to scenarios. The protagonist of Far Cry 2 is a foreign mercenary because it means none of the factions who deal with you bother with ideological pretense. This guy’s only motivated to kill by self interest, so why pretend we’re different?
In Fallout 4, we’re from the pre-war era because…
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Fallout 4 EP44: Gorillaz”
Let's do some scripting to make the Starcraft AI fight itself, and see how smart it is. Or isn't.
Everyone hates Black Friday sales. Even retailers! So why does it exist?
The story of me. If you're looking for a picture of what it was like growing up in the seventies, then this is for you.
WAY back in 2005, I wrote about a D&D campaign I was running. The campaign is still there, in the bottom-most strata of the archives.
Here are 6 reasons why I forbid political discussions on this site. #4 will amaze you. Or not.
A stream-of-gameplay review of Dead Island. This game is a cavalcade of bugs and bad design choices.
Yeah, this game is a classic. But the story is idiotic, incoherent, thematically confused, and patronizing.
Deus Ex Mankind Divided was a clumsy, tone-deaf allegory that thought it was clever, and it managed to annoy people of all political stripes.
What is this Vulkan stuff? A graphics engine? A game engine? A new flavor of breakfast cereal? And how is it supposed to make PC games better?
The game was a dud, and I'm convinced a big part of that is due to the way the game leaned into its story. Its terrible, cringe-inducing story.
T w e n t y S i d e d
