T w e n t y S i d e d
Ok, in your opinion, is this one worse than They’re taking the Hobbits To Isengard?
Must be something to do with Orlando Bloom.
Sunshine Dust?
Somebody has this to say:
I can't trust Shamus or his Stolen Pixels. I know the guy has powerful anti-DRM ethics, but he lives in some world made of sunshine dust where wiping out DRM will solve all our problems. I do believe that anti-piracy is necessary… but I also don't want to piss off my customers. Is there a way out of this mess?
I know I re-state my thoughts on DRM pretty often, but I’m always happy to do so whenever people give me an excuse. Particularly when it dovetails so nicely with today’s comic. In case there is any confusion, I do not think eliminating DRM will solve all our problems. I maintain that obtrusive DRM is a problem in addition to piracy. I even grudgingly accept DRM, but for it to work, it must:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Sunshine Dust?”
Stolen Pixels #12:
The Economics Lesson
You may think I’m indifferent to the plight of publishers who struggle for solvency in these troubled times. Well, allow me to demonstrate that I have a keen grasp of the particulars of the problem.
Publishers: I’m willing to offer my financial consulting services pro-bono. Call me. We’ll talk.
My Top 5 Games: Answers
So the problem presented yesterday was to figure out what these games are:
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Answers below the fold. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “My Top 5 Games: Answers”
Top 5 Games:
A Game
In the latest Zero Punctuation review, Yahtzee mentions that a certain segment of his viewers seem very curious about what games he does like. This is a very predictable demand from any crowd of inflamed fanboys. The defining aspect of a fanboy is that he is emotionally attached to a game in such a way that lambasting the game is taken as a personal insult. When you stomp on the object of their affection their first reaction is going to be to try to do the same in return. This completely misses the entire point of being a critic, and indeed of having an opinion at all.
This is why, despite the normal friendly and jovial tone of this site, I tend to treat fanboys like vermin who must be exterminated. They can have no positive impact on a discussion. It doesn’t matter if they agree or disagree, because they aren’t having the same conversation everyone else is. If you set them off it’ll be profanity and angst.
But in a clever bit of fanboy-baiting, Yahtzee actually showed a list of some of his favorite games during the review:
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At the end he promised that anyone who figures it out will win his “utter disgust”. All the same, we can’t let the threat of of disinterested loathing deter us from an amusing little puzzle. The moment I saw the obscured list I felt my puzzle drive kick in. I don’t care about the list in the sense that I care if Yahtzee likes the “right” games, but he’s presented us with a puzzle and (I’ll bet) just enough clues to solve it.
This is an interesting sort of puzzle because it’s a mix of what you know about the critic with your knowledge of videogame titles and box covers. If this was just a list of 5 random games it wouldn’t be very compelling. If there was no image and the problem was just “guess my top 5 games” it likewise wouldn’t be much fun. But here we have both clues and motivation.
My own attempt below the fold:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Top 5 Games:
A Game”
The Malady Abates
Nothing like a punch in the immune system to put things into perspective. But then, having discomfort flow and then ebb is always a great pick-me-up.
The complete list of affected subsystems would be tedious, but I do note that illnesses have had a tendency to go right for my inner ear over the last few years. It makes getting around the house somewhat more challenging than it should be, and produces the ever-popular fever-go-round, where I can close my eyes and enjoy a slow spin around the room.
This wasn’t the worst illness I’ve had, although at one point I looked up from my bed and saw the horrifying cloaked form of the Grim Reaper standing over me.
“Oh come on“, I protested, “I’m not that sick.”
“I know, I know”, he replied defensively, “I was just, you know, checking.”
Now I’m slowly emerging from the long dark chicken soup time of the soul, and getting a feel for the state of things around here:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “The Malady Abates”
Stolen Pixels #11:
Finally!
The next Stolen Pixels is now up. It features The Witcher. I had planned to have my Witcher wrap-up post today to to accompany this, but that’s been pushed back a bit.
From The Archives:
Raytracing
Raytracing is coming. Slowly. Eventually. What is it and what will it mean for game development?
Black Desert Online
This Korean title would be the greatest MMO ever made if not for the horrendous monetization system. And the embarrassing translation. And the terrible progression. And the developer's general apathy towards its western audience.
Dear Hollywood: Do a Mash Reboot
Since we're rebooting everything, MASH will probably come up eventually. Here are some casting suggestions.
The Best of 2019
I called 2019 "The Year of corporate Dystopia". Here is a list of the games I thought were interesting or worth talking about that year.
What is Vulkan?
What is this Vulkan stuff? A graphics engine? A game engine? A new flavor of breakfast cereal? And how is it supposed to make PC games better?
How I Plan To Rule This Dumb Industry
Here is how I'd conquer the game-publishing business. (Hint: NOT by copying EA, 2K, Activision, Take-Two, or Ubisoft.)
The Plot-Driven Door
You know how videogames sometimes do that thing where it's preposterously hard to go through a simple door? This one is really bad.
Silent Hill Turbo HD II
I was trying to make fun of how Silent Hill had lost its way but I ended up making fun of fighting games. Whatever.
Twelve Years
Even allegedly smart people can make life-changing blunders that seem very, very obvious in retrospect.
Grand Theft Auto Retrospective
This series began as a cheap little 2D overhead game and grew into the most profitable entertainment product ever made. I have a love / hate relationship with the series.