I have launched my latest rhetorical / satirical volley at the juggernaut that is EA. I’m sure they will crumble under the power of my arguments any second now. While we’re waiting for that, you can read today’s comic. You can read on here for an earlier version of the joke: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Stolen Pixels #36:
You Only Hurt the Ones Who Love You”
In earlier posts I was careful to mark spoilers, but since this is the end of the game nearly everything will be spoilers. You can go here to skip to the conclusion without reading the rest of the story if you treasure your ignorance.
Throughout the game, there have been two plot threads: One is personal to Travis, where he lets a few of his skeletons out of his closet and gets to know them. The second is the plot where Travis is gathering up these mysterious magical gnib-nabs for the spooky little girl. The former is just tacked on – Travis is sort of working out his issues by running into his past by accident. The latter is a largish retcon where the writers are trying to add a new character and new events to the origin of Silent Hill.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Silent Hill Origins Part 6: Cult of Travis”
Michael Crichton, creator of Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park and ER, has died at 66.
So long Crichton, thanks for all the great yarns. Especially that dinosaur thing.
Playing Phantom of the Arcade within the context of a web page has me thinking about the new things we could be doing with interactive fiction that simply weren’t possible in the heyday of text adventures.
IF is an interesting game type. They player isn’t just working to complete the story, but to experiment with the gameworld and read what the author has to say. Being stuck in IF can be just as rewarding as moving forward, provided the game has interesting things to say about it.
For example: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Interactive Fiction:
Feedback Parser”
Outside the sanitarium Travis finds a car with the engine running. He quickly realizes that using a car would be the coward’s way of getting around a city of lurching abominations. And we’ve already established that Travis is a magnificent dummy and not a coward. He won’t even try the door or make up some excuse about it being locked. Time for another hike across town.
(Also: Travis has quite a collection of tire irons tucked away in whatever dimensional pocket he keeps his inventory. The hospital and the sanitarium each had a rather perplexing number of them laying about. Strangely, there isn’t a tire iron in the trunk of this car.)
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Silent Hill Origins Part 5: At The Movies”
The story of our time-manipulating prince has now been extended via a sequel. In a perfect world I would have made this a three-parter, but it worked best as two strips. Director’s commentary (punchline spoilers) follow:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Stolen Pixels #35:
Total Rewind 2″
We rejoin trucker Travis Grady as he continues his journey to transcend stupidity itself. Last time he was wandering around the sanitarium, bashing monsters and developing his repertoire of dumb looks. Let’s see how it goes…
There are two new monsters to face here, and the differences between them are instructive:
The first is a remnant. It looks like a not-particularly-comfortable restraining device. It seems to float through the air as if the wearer was invisible, but when you sweep the flashlight beam over it the thing casts a humanoid shadow on the wall and you can see its crazed movements and flailing limbs. Naturally the closer you get the larger the projected shadow will appear. And naturally this will freak you the hell out if you’re not ready for it.
The other monster is the carrion, a big lumpy… monster thing. Online guides say it looks like roadkill, but given how you need to fight the sucker at a distance and your flashlight beam has the coverage of a dinner plate, I’ve never actually gotten a good look at it. But this seems to be an exception to the rule that obscuring the monster makes it more frightening. I’ve never been all that scared of it. It just looks like a big lump to me. A big, mean lump with a cheap-ass lunge attack that can knock off half your health before you can say, “When was the last time I saved, anyway?”
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Silent Hill Origins Part 4: Dang Kids”
The story of me. If you're looking for a picture of what it was like growing up in the seventies, then this is for you.
Dear people of the internet: Please stop doing these horrible idiotic things when you talk to each other.
Deus Ex Mankind Divided was a clumsy, tone-deaf allegory that thought it was clever, and it managed to annoy people of all political stripes.
Team Cap or Team Iron Man? More importantly, what basis would you use for making that decision?
Since we're rebooting everything, MASH will probably come up eventually. Here are some casting suggestions.
Remember the superhero MMO from 2009? Neither does anyone else. It was dumb. So dumb I was compelled to write this.
A wild game filled with wild ideas that features fun puzzles and mind-blowing environments. It has a great atmosphere, and one REALLY annoying flaw with its gameplay.
Did you dislike the ending to the Mass Effect trilogy? Here's my list of where it failed logically, thematically, and tonally.
Here are 6 reasons why I forbid political discussions on this site. #4 will amaze you. Or not.
When the source code for Doom 3 was released, we got a look at some of the style conventions used by the developers. Here I analyze this style and explain what it all means.
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