At five minutes, the protagonist aims his camera at a car and the computer is able to instantly identify the rear passenger by taking a picture of the back of his head at night inside a darkened car through the closed window. That is so silly it actually makes me laugh. It’s the perfect set-up for any number of jokes about technology, privacy, or police funding. But the game plays it totally straight without even a whiff of self-awareness. Working on this videogame would drive me bonkers.
I also have to wonder how many sets of handcuffs the average officer carries around. Is it infinity?
And then agent sidekick plugs her USB device into a laptop to “get a traceroute on an outgoing IP” for a videoconference that has already ended. On one hand, that’s more bonkers than the magic camera that can identify people you can’t see. On the other hand, I take it that’s pretty much par for the course for CSI depictions of the internet.
The Biggest Game Ever
Just how big IS No Man's Sky? What if you made a map of all of its landmass? How big would it be?
Fixing Match 3
For one of the most popular casual games in existence, Match 3 is actually really broken. Until one developer fixed it.
The Best of 2013
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2013.
Resident Evil 4
Who is this imbecile and why is he wandering around Europe unsupervised?
Top 64 Videogames
Lists of 'best games ever' are dumb and annoying. But like a self-loathing hipster I made one anyway.