Josh was sick this week so we couldn’t continue our Absolution playthrough. Instead…
The common defense is that criticizing the story parts of a COD or Battlefield game is like critiquing the story parts of a porno: You’re missing the point. But if a porno spent over half its budget and a third of its running time on story parts, and if they hired AAA actors to be in it? Yeah, I think that’s worth a critical look. If the story doesn’t matter, why spend so much money on it? And if you spend THAT MUCH money on it, why can’t you make it good? And if you can’t make it good, why spend so much of the audience’s time on it?
I like the criminal chatter behind the door before you bust into the room. But then you kick open the door and everyone is clearly sitting down and making no effort to do the things they shouted. I like that you can arrest people instead of murdering them. But then one person pops out of the bathroom and you somehow end up murdering everyone anyway, including the people who were cuffed on the floor? And the table disintegrates? Then we need to gather evidence, but instead we trample on all the bodies and evidence before having the magic teleporting car chase.
It’s like there was one game designer who wanted to make this game grounded and interesting, and another developer who was a hyperactive 12 year old, and they took turns designing the game.
Sure is pretty, though.
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The plot of this game isn't just dumb, it's actively hostile to the player. This game hates you and thinks you are stupid.
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