This week, Paul is the one that showed up with a fistfull of topics, and I’m the one who… doesn’t. I could get used to this.
Link (YouTube) |
Show notes: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #371: Multi-factor Filibuster”
In this week’s episode, we rescue the princess. This means that our party is now complete. And I have to say I’m not really a fan. Of any of them.
Oh sure, there’s all the problems we’ve already covered, like how their personal goals don’t align with the plot, or indeed go anywhere interesting. But the more immediate problem for me is that these people aren’t any fun.
“Teenagers team up and fight space-Satan to save the world.” That’s how people derisively describe your average Final Fantasy plot. But the truth is that I like that dynamic. It’s silly as hell, but I love having a large cast of colorful personalities, all going through their own arcs as the plot ramps up from “ridiculous” to “surreal“.
I love how the groups always feature a variety of characters. A mix of male and female, young and old, rich and poor, serious and playful, badass and comical. You can see the same personalities pop up again and again throughout the series like meta-cameos, but each time those personalities are behind different faces, and fulfilling different roles within the story.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “FF12 Sightseeing Tour Part 5: A Sad Party”
We open to the party being brought aboard Ghis’ flagship, the Dreadnought Leviathan. Hilariously, the little transport craft has these two protrusions on the front that look like someone welded two swords to the bumper. I can’t help but imagine this little bumper-car ship ramming dreadnoughts with its teensy little fender blades.
As the party is brought onto the bridge, who should be waiting for them but Amalia! Basch greets her as Majesty, and in response she slaps the taste out of his mouth, because nothing good can ever happen to Basch. Ghis confirms that she is indeed Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca (*snicker* “B’nargin”), and everyone is shocked but Basch.
Ghis does note that, without any proof of her lineage, she’ll simply be hanged with the rest of the insurgents. Basch pipes up saying that he had a contingency for just such an occasion and that he and he alone knows the location of such proof, an artifact called the Dusk Shard. Which is to say, the Goddess Magicite Vaan has in his pocket. No really, it starts glowing right on cue and he pulls it on out. Does the Empire not frisk prisoners?! This is the second time! Judge Ghis finally gets the hint and yoinks it out of his hands, exclaiming, “Well shit, that cleared up quicker than I thought it would.”
Vaan demonstrates his trademark lack of self-awareness by demanding “no executions” before he hands over the stone. Ghis mutters to himself about Vayne wanting the stone for some purpose, and they are led away to the brig.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “A Travelog of Ivalice, Part 5: Imperial Mercy and Other Lies”
Last week Chris and I began our Co-op trip through Resident Evil 5. It went about as well as you’d expect…
And now our drinking game begins to take shape. Take a drink whenever…
Actually, I’d like to amend #3, since it’s kind of ambiguous. As stated, this just results in a single drink in every cutscene with a bad guy. But the point of this rule is to draw attention to how powerless he is, and how all of his enemies seem to be aware that he’s never going to shoot them. So let’s change #3 to “drink every time Chris asks a question that is ignored or mocked by the suspect.”
Just a reminder that these drinking games are designed to kill the viewer.
Now let’s talk about this gameplay…
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Resident Evil 5 #1: Zombie Police! Open Up!”
In this week’s entry Rocketmaaaaa-an! talks about the scene where Basch meets with Ondore, the Marquis,Based on my time with Mike Tyson Adventures, I’m convinced you’re all wrong and “Marquis” is actually pronounced “Marcuth”. the narrator guy, or whatever the game is calling him at any given moment.
Ondore meets with Basch, but then he says something ominous about needing to “keep up appearances”. Basch draws his sword, some imperials charge in, and we cut to the next scene.
We’ve been belaboring how little sense things make in the story right now, and I worry that this argument is going to wear out its welcome long before we get to the end. So let’s give that a rest and talk about the odd cinematography.
Back in 2007 I claimed that Basch ran out of the room after drawing his sword. But no, said the fans, I just wasn’t paying attention. On a second viewing, I can see that he’s still there. He’s just standing behind Balthier.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “FF12 Sightseeing Tour Part 4: Resisting a Rest”
As much through a stroke of good luck as anything, the bounty hunter Ba’Gamnan has at last drawn his target to him, and Balthier and co. arrive in Bhujerba. The Strahl’s flyover of the skycity is freakin’ gorgeous, too; Final Fantasy XII really is a beautiful game. At the airport, Balthier points out once again that it might be bad news if Basch’s identity gets out, which is emphasized immediately by a pack of stormtroopers running past looking for them (oddly yelling out “He’s not here!” as they’re still entering.)
Naturally, with Basch and Vaan delivered safely to their respective certain dooms, Balthier and Fran have no motivation to remain in Bhujerba, and they take their payment and leave promptly. After— wait, wait, that’s the opposite of what happens, sorry. Despite armed authorities literally swarming around looking for him, and knowing that his most dangerous enemy is waiting to trap him with bait he doesn’t care about, and despite the fact that sticking his neck out for no reason will, in but a short while, become a major sticking point for Balthier, he decides to not only tarry with the suicidal Dalmascans but aid them in whatever dangerous monkeyshines they get involved in.
Fran offers no objection because she has no character or personality beyond following Balthier like a simpleton.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “A Travelog of Ivalice, Part 4: Point Me at the Sky”
Tonight, at 7pm Chris and I are going to be playing Resident Evil 5 together on his Twitch channel. The game was designed for Co-Op, building the combat around the two-person team of Chris Redfield and Sheva. If you play it single-player – which is how I played this back in 2009 – then Sheva is run by an AI. This will be my first time experiencing the game as it was intended to be played.
Chris is the expert on this series, so I’ll let him put the whole thing in context…
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Resident Evil 5: Introduction”
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C++ is a wonderful language for making horrible code.
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I called 2018 "The Year of Good News". Here is a list of the games I thought were interesting or worth talking about that year.
T w e n t y S i d e d
