Silent Hill Origins Part 2: Hello Nurse!

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 28, 2008

Filed under: Shamus Plays 28 comments

We resume our nonsensical journey with Travis Grady, a trucker turned ADHD firefighting paramedic ghostbuster. Part one is back that way. When we last left our hero special-needs truckdriver, he’d rescued a girl from certain death by helping her to escape to a different certain death. Then he passed out.

Before we resume the verbal scourging of this game, let me make it clear that I know I’m being kind of hard on poor Silent Hill: Origins. This is not a horrible game, but Konami and Climax studios had the audacity to put the name Silent Hill on this sucker, and so I’m going to hold them to it. I would have given the same cruel treatment to ObsCure if they’d tried to pass that off as a Silent Hill title.

Besides, this is fun. More fun than playing the game, anyway.

Welcome to our haunted town, which is beset by pagan devilry and ancient curses borne of unspeakable acts of bloodshed.  Please take a brochure.
Welcome to our haunted town, which is beset by pagan devilry and ancient curses borne of unspeakable acts of bloodshed. Please take a brochure.

Travis awakens and it’s daytime. He’s on a bench in Silent Hill. He remembers the girl and decides to go to the hospital and see if he can annoy her some more. (He wants to know if she’s all right.)

No she’s not all right you bumbling, dim-witted, lamebrain. She was doomed before you scooped her up and loped outside with her. She was cooked. The best hospital in the world would be hard-pressed to coax a day or two out of her. You drool-soaked, cross-eyed, dunce.

Having failed to present the player with a compelling protagonist or mystery, the game sends you off to the hospital. Now, the hospital is an iconic place in Silent Hill. Everyone remembers their first trip to the hospital. It’s arguably the signature area of the series. It was a major part of almost all the other titles in the series, as well as the movie. But it’s something you build up to. It’s the headlining band, not the opening act. This game just has no patience. It hasn’t even bought me a drink yet and already it’s trying to get my pants off. And I’m really sorry for that metaphor.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Silent Hill Origins Part 2: Hello Nurse!”

 


 

Stolen Pixels #33:
Literacy is not a Superpower

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 28, 2008

Filed under: Column 0 comments

The latest comic deals with the ongoing siege of the English language perpetrated by the armies of MMOs and txtspeaking.

As a supplement to today’s comic, I present this:

coh_typo.jpg

The player took the time to correct his earlier typo, by… making sure he typed out the mangled word as intended. He was only a couple of characters short of “you’re”, which I assume is the word he was groping for.

Why must young people do this to our language? Can’t they just smoke pot and have drunken, unprotected sex like previous generations?

Oh, they do that too? Ah well.

 


 

Silent Hill Origins Part 1: Trucker’s Delight

By Shamus Posted Monday Oct 27, 2008

Filed under: Shamus Plays 48 comments

Warning: This review contains images that are both disturbing and stupid. Mostly the latter. Either way, viewer discretion is advised.

Note that this article was originally published in 2008, and the screenshots were acquired by capturing images from standard-definition television signal. I hope you like enormous pixels.

This is not a scary game compared to the previous offerings under the Silent Hill name. I could end the review there and we could all go back to talking about City of Heroes, but then you might be left wondering why it isn’t scary.

I’ve already had a lot to say on what makes games frightening. One thing I’d add to that is that the player really needs to connect with the main character before you can hope to start scaring them. The player needs to empathize with their avatar, or else the whole game is just a tedious system of resource management and dodgy combat controls. The first few minutes of the game are crucial for building that connection and coaxing the player into immersing themselves in the gameworld even though it’s dangerous and unpleasant. Let’s see how well Silent Hill: Origins pulls this off. (He said, a paragraph after he’d already tipped his hand.)

I'll just leave this partly-jackknifed truck right here. I'm sure nobody will mind.
I'll just leave this partly-jackknifed truck right here. I'm sure nobody will mind.

The game starts off by dropping us into the shoes of Travis Grady, a trucker who is just passing through Silent Hill. Travis has an expositional conversation with another trucker over the CB. Suddenly a robed woman lurches into the road. Travis slams on the brakes. He gets out of his truck, but she’s gone. Then he sees an apparition in his side-view mirror, which looks like a little girl. Then a little girl (seemingly a different one) wanders by in front of his truck and runs off into the fog.

And Travis, for no reason available to the player, takes off after her.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Silent Hill Origins Part 1: Trucker’s Delight”

 


 

GetBitmapBits (), Retired

By Shamus Posted Sunday Oct 26, 2008

Filed under: Projects 22 comments

As a follow-up to my earlier post: I replaced the Windows font-drawing code with my own. A bubble which took a third of a second to rebuild will now update so fast that I can’t measure it with the millisecond clock. (It takes “zero” milliseconds.)

I suppose if I really wanted to measure it I could build some gargantuan page-eating bubble, or make ten of them at a time and then divide but… whatever. Problem solved.

Just wanted to share the moment.

Now if only I could get the program to write jokes for me…

 


 

Hallowweek

By Shamus Posted Sunday Oct 26, 2008

Filed under: Notices 39 comments

This week I’m going to be talking about survival horror and scary videogames. I’m probably going to be citing Yahtzee‘s reviews a lot during this series. He and I are very different gamers with different tastes and backgrounds and ages, but despite all this our opinions on the Silent Hill series are very nearly identical. I could probably just link him with a, “what he said” and save myself the aggravation of trying to re-word my own opinions in an attempt to avoid plagiarizing him, but that would be the coward’s way out. And this isn’t the week for that sort of thinking.

Both of us rate Silent Hill 2 very highly. (My SH2 review is still one of the longest posts on this site.) I’m not a Yank-hating Brit and / or Aussie like Yahtzee, but I emphatically agree with him about how badly the series has been mucked up in the hands of bungling idiot American designers. They have gone completely James Cameron on the games, making them faster, louder, shallower, better looking, and (most importantly) about a thousand times less frightening. You could argue that perhaps it’s not that survival horror sucks these days, but that the genre has ceased to exist. Cameron turned the thrilling sci-fi horror movies Alien and Terminator into over-amped sci-fi action movies Aliens and Terminator 2, and I think that’s what’s happened to survival horror. The new Resident Evil and Silent Hill titles aren’t bad games on their own, but they’re a non-sequitur in terms of mood and pacing when compared to their predecessors.

I wasn’t able to play Silent Hill Homecoming in time for this series. (Thank you so much for that, City of Heroes, you crack-laced, productivity-murdering monster.) But I will be looking back on Silent Hill 2 & 3, as well as Silent Hill Origins, and doing that armchair game design thing which everyone is so inexplicably willing to tolerate.

I’ll also be commenting a bit on Homecoming, even though I haven’t played it. I’m sure this will enrage a few fanboys and cause them to “lose respect for me”, which is what fanboys do when you tell them the sky is blue without going outside to check first.

Clarification: I did not mean to imply that Terminator 2 and Aliens aren’t completely frickin’ sweet. I’ve seen both of them more than a half dozen times each. They’re great movies. You could even make a good case that they’re better than the movies they were sequeling. My only point is that they just don’t fall into the same genre as the originals.
 


 

Star Wars Dance Off

By Shamus Posted Saturday Oct 25, 2008

Filed under: Movies 69 comments

Please view the following video, after which there will be a short questionnaire:

  1. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “severe” and 10 being “horrifying and permanent”, how badly did this video damage your childhood memories?
  2. Do you think the victory of the Dark Lord of the Sith was a fair win, or do you believe he used his evil powers to influence the vote?
  3. Do you believe that somewhere, behind the scenes, George Lucas had a hand in this?
  4. How much do you hate me for this one?

Thank you for your cooperation. Grief counselors are standing by.

 


 

GetBitmapBits ()

By Shamus Posted Friday Oct 24, 2008

Filed under: Projects 56 comments

This is just venting about some project annoyances that I needed to get off my chest. No gaming news or rants about DRM today. Read on to be bored by trivialities…

I have no less than a week’s worth of posts sitting in the queue, in much the same way that wet leaves might sit in your downspout, preventing efficient operation. All of them need that once-over in different places to weed out different places where I re-use words and the bad sentence structure in different places.

Next week I’m going to put up my long-delayed survival horror posts up for Halloween, so some of these posts will be stale by the time we reach them. Which do you prefer, unfinished, or irrelevant? No worries, I can do both!

I should have spent tonight (Thursday) on Friday’s noontime post, but instead I got caught up in a side project…

I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I build my comics using a homebrew program I came up with. It lets me throw down word bubbles and drag the tails around and generally do stuff that would be tedious and time consuming if done by hand.

But for months I’ve been irritated at how long it takes to update a bubble. When I type text into the dialog box, it takes a full second for the program to rebuild the bubble. This makes editing really annoying. At the heart of the problem are the Windows API calls I’m making. I draw the text into an off-screen Bitmap using common Windows text-drawing calls. The same ones used to draw the tooltips and menus in front of you right now if you’re on a Windows machine. But for whatever perverse reason, Windows takes preposterous amount of time to give me the data.

It goes like this:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “GetBitmapBits ()”