T w e n t y S i d e d
DM of the Rings Remaster LIII: Waste Not, Want Not
Code Monkey Beta: Part 1
This week Bay has once again found themself laid up. This time it’s with a fun combination of strep, two ear infections that the good doctor referred to as ‘acute’, which is a fun way to say ‘very bad’. and a fun flare-up as a result of not being able to keep anything down for a few days, including the modern miracle of arthritis medication. Currently I’m on the lookout for any more of the universe’s wayward attempts to off them this week; such as spontaneous combustion, or a piano falling through the ceiling. But in the meantime I figured i’d fill the content gap with a project i’ve wanted to talk about for a while now.
I’ve always kind-of wanted to learn to code.
I say kind-of because my interest had always been something of a nervous fascination. A bit like learning a second language. It was a hypothetical years-long commitment that requires me to be bad at something in an embarrassingly public way before I got to the impressive point where I could confidently say ‘I know how to speak another language’ and not fumble the bag as soon as someone asked me something more complex than how to ask where the bathroom is. And ultimately, it was more of an ends to a means of what I really wanted to do.
I’ve always really wanted to make games.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Code Monkey Beta: Part 1”
Wednesday Action Log 1-3-24
This week I’m still playing Tears of the Kingdom. I finally got around to finishing the last temple and getting all of the sages…I don’t like any of the powers they have.
They are all niche uses and when I do want to use them it’s tied to an NPC. I hate having an NPC follow me so I never have them summoned. So, when I need them, I have to open the menu to spawn them, use the power, and open the menu again to despawn them. Fun.
Other than that I got all of the shrines and I’m currently working on getting all of the caves.
What are you guys playing?
SWTOR: Rix’larril’an of the Ascendancy – New Years 2023-2024
I guess I got lucky this year landing two straight posts on holidays. But it works out. I keep trying to make more of the one-chapter saga of Imperial Captain Sarnova than there really is, so I’m not ready to tackle Rix’larril’an’s next installment. But I did spend the past week trying to understand some SWTOR mechanics, and there’s a few other things to talk about.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “SWTOR: Rix’larril’an of the Ascendancy – New Years 2023-2024”
DM of the Rings Remaster LII: I Specialize in Ranger-ing
Sims 4 Overthinking: The Kitchenette
Logan, Kelly, and Michael all come back from their week long trip with much clearer heads. The drive from their house to the Grand Canyon clocked in at about sixty hours of driving total. Kelly and Michael took turns driving, with Logan subbing in as a backup, so luckily they didn’t waste time with hotels along the way. All in all, they spent three whole days in the car, broken up with four days at the Grand Canyon. During the drive and some of their many hikes, they planned what to do with the house.
All three of our family members are sick to death of holidays including carrying plates of food up and down the stairs. The year they lost the whole dish of mashed potatoes to a fumble is still a sore spot for them. A kitchen upstairs would be much smaller, but gone would be the days of joking about installing a dumbwaiter. The new laundry room would be hilariously in the way of their ideas, but that could be fixed. The beautiful double door they got cheap would need to come out for something slimmer, but if they did that they’d have room for a galley kitchen. Doing that already, they could arguably make room for the kitchen by slimming down the laundry room…
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Sims 4 Overthinking: The Kitchenette”
Wednesday Action Log 12-27-23
I played more Tears of the Kingdom, regrettably. The gameplay and side quests keep drawing me back in, but if I have to listen to one more NPC insist that ‘Zelda’ was just here I’m going to eat a shoe. At the point I am at, Link knows very well that who they saw wasn’t Zelda, but yet says nothing. Even in cases where things ‘she’ said is actively slowing him down.
Not to mention, that to implement these rules, the game has a hundred and one places that if you step wrong, an NPC yells at you and magically teleports you away. This happened occasionally in Breath of the Wild, but in Tears of the Kingdom it’s become relentless. There are some places it makes sense, but some of these zones are so large you can be doing something completely unrelated and the game teleports you away to slap you on the wrist. The teleporting itself is annoying, tedious, and bad enough, but to then be told off (as the princess’s personal protector, who outranks every single one of these idiots) is enough to make one want to strap a rocket to them. Not that the game would allow for that. Oppressive nitwits.
What are you guys playing?
From The Archives:
The Death of Half-Life
Valve still hasn't admitted it, but the Half-Life franchise is dead. So what made these games so popular anyway?
The Middle Ages
Would you have survived in the middle ages?
Marvel's Civil War
Team Cap or Team Iron Man? More importantly, what basis would you use for making that decision?
PC Gaming Golden Age
It's not a legend. It was real. There was a time before DLC. Before DRM. Before crappy ports. It was glorious.
Fable II
The plot of this game isn't just dumb, it's actively hostile to the player. This game hates you and thinks you are stupid.
The Disappointment Engine
No Man's Sky is a game seemingly engineered to create a cycle of anticipation and disappointment.
This is Why We Can’t Have Short Criticism
Here's how this site grew from short essays to novel-length quasi-analytical retrospectives.
Spec Ops: The Line
A videogame that judges its audience, criticizes its genre, and hates its premise. How did this thing get made?
Bethesda NEVER Understood Fallout
Let's count up the ways in which Bethesda has misunderstood and misused the Fallout property.
Crysis 2
Crysis 2 has basically the same plot as Half-Life 2. So why is one a classic and the other simply obnoxious and tiresome?