Mass Effect Retrospective 23: Assumed Empathy

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 19, 2015

Filed under: Mass Effect 176 comments

Once the introduction is over, TIM sends Shepard to the human colony of Freedom’s Progress to see what the Collectors have been doing. He claims that we’ll find proof that the Reapers are behind our disappearing colonies.

Freedom’s Progress

What are the odds?
What are the odds?

The colony is empty. Well, empty except for Tali, who we just happen to bump into here at random, in an out-of-the-way location neither one of us has ever visited before, just a few hours after Shepard wakes up for the first time after being dead. She’s literally one of the first people you meet.

Look, if the galaxy was the size of Rhode Island this would be a shockingly unlikely happenstance. It would be implausible enough to warrant some sort of hand-wave, lamp-shade, excuse, or some other storytelling trick to smooth over the contrivance. If the galaxy was the size of the United States, the odds against this meeting would be astronomicalIf we scrambled teleported a random American to a random room in the continental US, what are the odds that they would end up in the same room with one of their five closest friends?, far more unlikely than winning the lottery. If the galaxy was the size of Earth, this would be a one-in-billions chance encounter. But the galaxy is the size of the galaxy, and thus this meeting is a hilarious miracle contrived by the author.

Even worse is that she’s not even needed here. She brings no special knowledge or skills to this encounter. Her friend Veetor is the one that solves all the technical problems. If nothing else, the Veetor character should have been dropped and his feats of technical wizardryUnderstanding human computer systems better than the humans themselves. could have been performed by Tali. It’s bad enough to have this chance encounter, but having it happen and then not using the character is just strange.

You could perhaps argue that she’s here to reassure the player that this is indeed the Mass Effect universe they remember by throwing in a fan favorite. Still, this seems like a sledgehammer solution to that problem.

And just to push this conversation over the top into maximum awkwardness, one of the Quarians immediately clocks your team as “Cerberus operatives” before you identify yourselves or even say a word. We’re still reeling from the last contrivance and the writer hits us with this? If you want to suggest that it’s Jacob’s yellow icon on his uniform, then portray that with a close-in shot to focus on the logo so we understand that this Quarian hasn’t been reading the script. And once you’re done with that, you could follow-up with an explanation for WHY IS JACOB WEARING IDENTIFYING MARKINGS OF A CLANDESTINE ORGANIZATION?!?

According to the game, nobody knows who has been kidnapping our tens of thousands of colonists. They erase all traces of themselves when they leave, and when the next ship arrives all they find is a ghost town. Well, it only takes one delirious Quarian (Veetor) to recover the security footage and see the Collectors stealing all the people.

This also ties into the lack of agency I mentioned last time. Shepard is told to come here. He didn’t even know what he was looking for. He just kept walking forward and shooting stuff until someone else gave him what he needed.

If Shepard brought a tech expert to this location and told them to scan the computer, then it would feel like Shepard was an active participant in the story. If Shepard had contacted Tali and asked her to meet him here, it would both make him proactive and rid the need for the massive contrivance of bumping into her at random. But in this scenario he makes no decisions and makes no contributions aside from shooting shit.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mass Effect Retrospective 23: Assumed Empathy”

 


 

Knights of the Old Republic EP31: Your Entire Party Has Been Killed

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Nov 18, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 63 comments


Link (YouTube)

I think of all the ways your Star Wars adventure can end, “Killed in a popup” is perhaps the lamest. Come on, BioWare. At least show us a shitty animation. Or put some flavor text in the box. Something.

 


 

Half Time CH8: Elf Esteem

By Rutskarn Posted Tuesday Nov 17, 2015

Filed under: Lets Play 50 comments

Nobody could possibly predict how humiliating this match was going to become. Not even me.
Nobody could possibly predict how humiliating this match was going to become. Not even me.

Next to my beside table, a dozen fresh red rosesâ€"broken at the base of the stems. Thinking of you. Love, the guys. Beneath that is the name of every loan shark on the seaboard and the card of a local apothecary.

Just when you start to think no-one cares.

My trousers are only half-on when my hand, operating on its own sound judgment and muscle memory, finds a bottleneck. But my brain cell is still in charge–and it votes to leave the liquor be and go up there to face this incredibly unfortunate day sober. After all, my team is counting on me. I haven’t been able to fix that yet.

It’s a long climb up the stairs to the locker room, where my team has been having a last-minute pregame clambake. Wide, moist eyes look up from an improvised and building-code-violating ersatz coalpit. Did I have a speech prepared? I did? Well, screw that. This was not a morning for last night’s speeches. If I was going to face this sober, so were they.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Half Time CH8: Elf Esteem”

 


 

Experienced Points: The Fallout 4 Intro Is A Mess

By Shamus Posted Monday Nov 16, 2015

Filed under: Column 162 comments

My column this week is on the completely patronizing intro for Fallout 4. It doesn’t talk about anything we haven’t already seen in a trailer, it should be safe to read even for the spoiler-shy.

A more complete (and spoiler-heavy) overview of the intro follows: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Experienced Points: The Fallout 4 Intro Is A Mess”

 


 

Diecast #129: Fallout 4, Fallout 4, Fallout 4, Fallout 4

By Shamus Posted Monday Nov 16, 2015

Filed under: Diecast 259 comments



Direct link to this episode.

Hosts: Josh, Shamus, Mumbles. Episode edited by Rachel.

Whoops. Rachel left about four minutes of dead air on the tail end of the podcast. In her defense, she edited the show while sick, and her computer crashed and forced her to start over at the halfway point. I figured it was better to let it slide than to wake her up and make her re-encode the whole thing. You understand.

Show notes: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #129: Fallout 4, Fallout 4, Fallout 4, Fallout 4”

 


 

Knights of the Old Republic EP30: Is it Naked Time Already?

By Shamus Posted Saturday Nov 14, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 68 comments


Link (YouTube)

I love the entire conversation with the sand people. It wouldn’t be terribly interesting if we could just talk to him directly, but HK-47 is able to give this layer of meta-commentary about what things are touchy subjects and what concepts would be hard for the other side to comprehend. The HK dialog is doing triple duty: It characterizes HK, it does some Sand People worldbuilding, and it relates the details and rationale of your next task.

 


 

Knights of the Old Republic EP29: 30 Repair Parts!

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 12, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 61 comments


Link (YouTube)

Man, I just never got the hate for this philandering hunter. The game seems to think you’ll relish killing him / letting him die. Bastila is even down for killing him, and I’m not sure why. Is she THAT into monogamy?

You could say this option is there for Sith characters, but this sort of leads into just how lame and petty the Sith options are in this game. Can you imagine (say) Darth Maul or Vader showing up and choosing to let this guy die because he’s an unrepentant cad? Or maybe Count Dooku saying, “THIS is what you get for being unfaithful to your own wife!” That’s just weird.

Then again, you’re kind of supposed to bump into this guy in town before you come out here, and I don’t remember doing so as a female character. It’s possible he comes off as such an awful creep that you WISH you could attack him, thus setting up this moment of evil catharsis? I don’t know.

Also, the credits list me as being from “Space-Ireland”, but it turns out I’m actually a city in Iran somehow?