Before we talk about what I liked, let’s talk about the things that disappointed, frustrated, or angered me in 2016. Er, the videogame things anyway.
Unlike those lists from other websites, this is not intended to be some sort of high-level, comprehensive, state-of-the-industry snapshot. This is just what I’ve run into. Since I avoid playing stuff I know I’ll hate unless it has Bethesda written on it, I don’t have a lot of things to hate.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Dénouement 2016 Part 3: The Losers”
It’s been ages since I did a videogame podcast and I don’t quite remember how it goes, but the guys assured me the show should start with about 20 minutes of random non-videogame bullshit.
Show notes: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #183: Jokes, Final Fantasy XV, Dishonored 2”
Yesterday we did some poaching, murdered a family pet, accidentally pinned the blame on some other guy, then killed him, then got paid for it. That’s a pretty good day in my book, but now Norman thinks we need to flee the region for a while. So now we’re in the human city of Stormwind. Norman is here to gather his things and get ready to leave for good. He also stops at the shops and puts some of his hard-won adventuring money to use.
“Hey, you got yourself a new dress!” I tell him.
“It’s not a dress, it’s a robe!” he argues.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” I tell him, “It’s pretty no matter what you call it.”
“It’s hard to be fearsome when you have to dress like this.”
“So why do it?” I ask.
“I thought… This is part of being a warlock. It’s in the rules. I just assumed it was something demons wanted.”
“Nah. You idiots came up with that on your own.”
“Oh,” Norman says with obvious disappointment.
“Look, the only thing we demons care about is devouring souls and destroying worlds. The dark robes, midnight gatherings, virgin sacrifice, cutting yourselves, memorizing oaths to fallen gods… that’s all stuff mortals added so they could feel like they were doing something really dangerous and illicit. You guys have to make everything so complicated. Power for souls. That’s our business. You guys can dress it up however you like.”
“I guess I feel sort of stupid wearing this robe then.”
“There’s a good reason for that.”
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Shamus Plays WoW #12: Hogger!”
Damien Lucifer suggested I post a few choice spam messages. I’m never one to pass up a chance for low-effort content, so let’s do this. Here are a bunch of messages posted to this blog over the last day or so. These are but a drop in the ocean. The full list would be in the thousands, most of which are useless gibberish and broken HTML. Spammers aren’t very good at configuring their spambots. Or choosing targets. Or English.
Where possible, I’ve preserved the name used by the spambot, although in some cases it was a URL and thus had to be redacted.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Messages From Spammers”
On January 1st 2001, we move into our new home. Life is good. I’m now working on programming full-time. I’ve got a nice quiet home office. The Virtual Mall project is still going, but I’m no longer working on it full-time.
Mike – my successor – manages to negotiate a change to the design of the mall that’s more in keeping with the strengths and weaknesses of our engine.
This is actually good for the project. Those first few months of frustration and ghastly decisions had broken my will. I had been working on a project I didn’t believe in and didn’t care about. I never would have tried to negotiate a change to the design with Mr. Business because – based on my previous rejections – I didn’t think anyone would listen. Mike doesn’t have all of that baggage and he wasn’t present at that initial meeting where nobody wanted to hear “no”, so he’s willing to be candid about his concerns with the design.
I don’t know why John Business was willing to listen this time around. Maybe the cresting wave of the dot-com surge has scared him enough that he’s open to feedback. Maybe Mike persuaded him using superior social skills. Maybe Mr. Business has tried to use the product himself and realized the truth on his own.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Crash Dot Com Part 9: Rags to Riches to Rags”
I am really enjoying Studio One. It’s become my go-to DAW. That’s pretty impressive. I have hundreds of hours of experience and muscle memory dedicated to MAGIX Music Maker. The fact that Studio One was able to win me over in about a week says a lot about how easy it was to learn.
I’m still using the free version, but I’m definitely getting the mid-tier version once we recover from the holidays. A couple of years ago I was wary of spending money on fancy tools before I had the skill to make proper use of them, but the time is right. I’ve long since ditched the automated tools and prefab loops that MAGIX has to offer. These days I insist on doing everything myself.
At the same time, I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck in a rut. All of my stuff is sounding the same. And even within a single song, it starts to get a bit monotonous by the end. My tracks usually end after four minutes not because I’m out of ideas, but because it doesn’t matter if I throw in a new melody, new drum riff, or a different instrument. The added variation doesn’t help fix the underlying problem that the song kind of feels like it’s spinning its wheels.
A few days ago I got an encouraging email from a fan who offered me some advice… Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Bad and Wrong Music Lessons: Key Changes”
At last, at long and perilous last, I am ready to approach the common clay of Poland with my gallant band of wealth appropriation artisans. I have weathered many difficulties in getting here, and frankly, my faith in free enterprise is waning. I demand nothing less than total victory in Illyintsy. If there is no room for an enterprising man like myself to exploit a nation’s industry after several days of very difficult freelance clerking, then we have come to a pretty pass and Erik and I shall go no further. I will go to the nearest town, sell my Fanny, and with the proceeds purchase an accountant’s shingle and have done with it.
I send my lieutenant along with the rest of the lads to conduct an impromptu survey re: the village surrendering. After a few long, quiet minutes, he returns.
“There you are,” I say. “Now; twenty-one men proved insufficient to terrify Illyinitsy. Don’t tell me twenty-six isn’t enough.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Master of Firin’ Sword CH6: The Bitter End”
Would you have survived in the middle ages?
There's a new graphics API in town. What does that mean, and why do we need it?
I called 2018 "The Year of Good News". Here is a list of the games I thought were interesting or worth talking about that year.
A game I love. It has a solid main story and a couple of really obnoxious, cringy, incoherent side-plots in it. What happened here?
There are two major schools of thought about how you should write software. Here's what they are and why people argue about it.
An ongoing series where I work on making a 2D action game from scratch.
What was the problem with the Playstation 3 hardware and why did Sony build it that way?
The Thieves Guild quest in Skyrim is a vortex of disjointed plot-holes, contrivances, and nonsense.
Most stories have plot holes. The failure isn't that they exist, it's when you notice them while immersed in the story.
Ever wonder how seemingly sane people can hate popular games? It can happen!
T w e n t y S i d e d
