Spoiler Warning S5E20: Simple Reading Comprehension

By Shamus Posted Friday May 20, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 181 comments


Link (YouTube)

So, normal hiding and stealth boys don’t conceal you, but crouching in front of a house does? The impassible wall of rock doesn’t provide cover from high explosives, but bombed-out house frames do? They can nail you with parabolic ordnance when you’re on the run and changing direction, but they can’t nail you when you hold still after crouching behind some planks?

It’s true that the game gives you instructions on how to pass through town, but those instructions really only make sense when you’ve scouted out the town. Once you’ve seen the town (and been blown up) the directions make sense, because then you know the boundaries and can make sense of stuff like “north-west corner of town”.

Easy or not, this is a pretty lame challenge. It’s doesn’t make sense in terms of the rules of the real world. It doesn’t make sense in terms of the game world. Suddenly the rules of cover, line of sight, stealth, and enemy targeting are all changed for this one “puzzle”.

Did you put 100 points into sneak? Can you steal a man’s underpants without him noticing? Are you crouched behind a wall of rock, where nobody on the planet can see you? Well guess what, kid? Boom. That’s right: BOOM. Screw you and your skill points. You’re going to do this puzzle the way the DM intended, or you’re not getting in here.

Dang kids. Always trying to use their creativity and reasoning to solve things. The sooner they realize the world is cheap, unfair, and arbitrary, they better off they are.

Hmm. We got a little bitter at the end, didn’t we? Oopsie.

Now you can see why we were dreading coming here.

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E19: Indecisive Indiscretions

By Shamus Posted Thursday May 19, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 140 comments


Link (YouTube)

Sorry about the whole, “What do you wanna do? I dunno, what do you wanna do? I dunno what do YOU want to do?” section. Usually we go in with a plan. Or at least, a clue. We usually go in with a plan (even if Josh doesn’t tell us the plan) but in this case we couldn’t come to any agreement. We argued about what to do next, then said, “Screw it, let’s just do the episode.” Sometimes this leads to interesting commentary. Sometimes it leads to… this.

And yeah, before you correct me, the Boomers came from a vault and not the base.

This is the slow part of the game. You’re presented with a handful of tribes, and you have to either ignore them, or do a quest to fix their internal troubles. (And maybe exterminate them? I’ve never figured out of extermination is formally recognized by the game.) Some of the tribes are fun, and a couple are annoying. There’s a little bit of something for everyone. The Boomers are the most time consuming of the bunch, although they also give the best benefits at the end of the game.

And yeah, I was just trolling Rutskarn about the Cowboy Repeater. I only used it once. I wasn’t particularly impressed with it, but it’s not like I did a detailed analysis of it against the other weapons so I don’t know that it’s a particularly weak weapon. I mean, who has time for that sort of study when you could be effortlessly punching dudes to death?

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E18: Nothing Happens!

By Josh Posted Wednesday May 18, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 163 comments

Sometimes, on Spoiler Warning, we manage to nail an episode and fit just about everything you could want into it: making fun of major plot events, meeting important NPCs (and killing them), and finding ways to make Reginald Cuftbert’s reputation even more absurd.

And then other times we manage to bring the perfect collection of circumstances together to create an episode wherein absolutely nothing of consequence happens and everything that’s being done is in the interest of getting to something of consequence which inevitably happens just after the end of the episode and ends up at the beginning of the next one.

This is one of those episodes.


Link (YouTube)

Of course, episodes where nothing happens tend to make for perfect platforms for us to throw the commentary dial directly to “inane” and cram in as many drinking-game references as possible. You’re welcome. We’re sorry.

 


 

BrainHex

By Shamus Posted Wednesday May 18, 2011

Filed under: Video Games 172 comments

By popular demand, I took this test, which aspires to work out what sort of experiences different people value in videogames. First, my results:

seeker_mastermind.png
Your BrainHex Class is Seeker.
Your BrainHex Sub-Class is SeekerMastermind.

You like finding strange and wonderful things or finding familiar things as well as solving puzzles and devising strategies.

Each BrainHex Class also has an Exception, which describes what you dislike about playing games. Your Exceptions are:

» No Mercy: You rarely if ever care about hurting other players’ feelings – mercy is for the weak!
» No Punishment: You dislike struggling to overcome seemingly impossible challenges, and repeating the same task over and over again.

Your scores for each of the classes in this test were as follows:

Seeker: 20
Mastermind: 17
Survivor: 12
Achiever: 11
Daredevil: 7
Socialiser: -2
Conqueror: -10

Go to BrainHex.com to learn more about this player model, and the neurobiological research behind it.

It’s an interesting test and worth a look, although I’d like to nitpick it. You know. Like I do.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “BrainHex”

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E17: Best weapon in the Game

By Shamus Posted Tuesday May 17, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 152 comments


Link (YouTube)

Also: New credits. Yay.

I thought I was done with New Vegas. I really did. But I re-installed it this weekend and began yet another playthrough when I heard there was a vault that I’d completely missed.

One problem I’ve always had with these sandbox games is that I can’t take a break from them. If I take a week off, then when I come back I’m compelled to begin a new game instead of just piecing together what I was doing in the old one. As a result, I have many, many aborted play-throughs under my belt.

Yes, unarmed is still the most powerful weapon class (zuh?) in the game. With a strength of 8 and the bladed gauntlet (available in Primm) it’s impossible for me to hit a foe more than once without abusing a corpse. As a bonus, you don’t have to worry about ammo, which is a real boost to your income and your carry weight. With guns, you need your good gun, and its ammunition. Then you need a backup gun, and its ammunition. You might even carry a third. But if you’re a wasteland pugilist, you can walk away from every shopkeeper with minimal encumbrance. Also, I tend to use VATS with guns to save on ammo, but with fisticuffs I can just jump in and start swinging without bringing the game flow to a halt. It’s also less of a skill-point sponge in the early game. With unarmed, I’m one-shotting raiders with just 40 skill points. With guns, I usually need 60 skill points before I start to feel effective, and it’s not until the 70’s that you can one-shot mooks.

I tried playing as a gunslinger. Got myself the best sidearm I could find, spent a mess of skill points and perks, and wound up with a nice, reasonably competent gunfighter. As opposed to my unarmed game, where I can kill guys faster for half the skill points and without using any perks. I think it was an odd decision to give so much power to the melee skills in a game with such a heavy western theme.

Then again… Ballistic Fist!

DONK! DONK! DONK! DONK! DONK! DONK!

 


 

Stolen Pixels #259: Don’t Fear the Creeper

By Shamus Posted Tuesday May 17, 2011

Filed under: Column 37 comments

May I present: A poem. About Creepers. Because.

Not actually crazy about how this one turned out. (Rhythm is off in places.) The rhyme scheme is just a little more complicated than I should have taken on at that point. To put it in context, your average poem with a rhyme scheme of A A B B C C D D is about ten times easier than A B A B C D C D. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. I was hammering this out at the last minute and perhaps bit off more than was wise, given the coming deadline.

Ah well. It’s not bad. There’s not enough poetry in webcomics, anyway.

 


 

Ninja Game Den: New Retro Gaming

By Shamus Posted Sunday May 15, 2011

Filed under: Links 272 comments

splash_space_invaders.jpg

Reader JPH (who you are likely to recognize if you follow the comments here) runs the blog Ninja Game Den. He’s doing something really interesting: He’s retro-gaming titles he’s never encountered before. For example, he’s playing Deus Ex for the first time. Here’s an excerpt:

But most importantly, it means that the gameplay is no longer filler for the story. The gameplay is the story. The game features no cutscenes (besides the very beginning and the very end) and the only time you lose control of your character is during dialogue, which is pretty much necessary. All of the action occurs in-game, and virtually all of it is avoidable if you play the cards right. And people will treat you very differently depending on what you choose to do during the game. It forces you to think about the ramifications of your in-game actions, instead of just entering no-think mode once the cutscene ends.

Do read the whole thing.

I’ve been eager to read this sort of thing for a long time. How well do the classics really hold up? Would I like them if I played them for the first time today? It’s encouraging to see that it’s not all rose-colored glasses. Deus Ex really is special, and it holds up even now that the graphics have gone stale.

For another blast from the past, there’s his experience with the original Fallout. If you’ve played the game, then go read his take and come back.

(musical interlude)

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Ninja Game Den: New Retro Gaming”