That can be my next tweet!

By Shamus Posted Monday Apr 11, 2011

Filed under: Links 63 comments

So there’s this website that will look at your Twitter history, tear your sentences apart, and try to assemble new messages out of them. Often as not it generates nonsense, which is where the fun comes from. Everyone was tweeting these things today. I didn’t want to spew out gibberish at confused readers, so I collected a few of my favorites and put them here.

All of these were generated from things said in my Twitter feed:

Volcano Bakemeat. Id shelved Stolen Pixels: some Mario Cart with it hit home.

I’ll high-five you after all, though not even links to say. Goodbye I’m not even there! Go Dan!

Mumbles has watched the mind that will infect you. Thanks for Cerberus. Just finished Visceral Games?

Feel guilty selling these shiny new trailer just listen to do my stores are outraged and she has fallen.

Also: To the calendar says, spring but says home and Graham Stark on the previous dis to tell anybody if?

FIFTEEN PAGES of white-hot agony. Even sitting next to do Spoiler Warning!

Had to get more traffic before 9am than you ever wanted to tell anybody if you have.

Also, breakfast is screwed. Japan has a new combat.

Sitting in the Spoiler Warning!

Reading tweets about guys who votes Nintendo anyway. I can help voting for breakfast?

Convention is trending topic.All its authenticity has fallen. Kids have truly outdone themselves.

That is currently down, but COME ON. Grrr. New Spoiler Warning season should bunny-hop less in winter it.

The process procrastinating”. Reading tweets about to spammers provoked a commando to the tilt of you!

Windows Live on Facebook in the tension would be empty reward schedules.

And finally– PAX East, 2011: Saturday! Friday Home again, here where I can’t wait to Guild Wars 2.

If you’re stabbed or play M:TG I have just sunk like this pacing and trash talk, it’s winter it can argue?

Kids are a second language. And more interesting than you will never stop playing to build my new game.

Kids are far worse sins than these. Time to be at watching play M:TG I like that!

I have spoken.


From The Archives:

63 thoughts on “That can be my next tweet!

  1. acronix says:

    I like the fact it started with “Volcano Bakemeat” in its own sentence.

    But the part “New Spoiler Warning season should bunny-hop less(…)” takes the cake.

    1. Veloxyll says:

      If only it were true. So many bunny hops.

      1. Zukhramm says:

        Boing boing boing boing boing boing.

        1. Alexander The 1st says:

          Even computers randomly piecing together Shamus’ tweets know that Spoiler Warning needs less bunny-hopping.

          Which is a code phrase meaning:


          It needs to keep happening until we can get Mike Meer to say “My name is Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite bunny-hopping Let’s Play on the internet.”

          1. Aldowyn says:

            Josh is bunny-hopping the heck out of this one. I swear he didn’t do it that much in FO3.

    2. Varil says:

      Volcano Bakemeat sounds like something out of Dwarf Fortress.

      1. Ravens Cry says:

        Actually, it’s a quote from a really, really bad bootleg translation of a Pokemon, or should I say “Elfs” game.

  2. Gantidae says:

    “Also, breakfast is screwed. Japan has a new combat.”
    That seems a little insensitive.

    “Sitting in the Spoiler Warning!”
    The is not recommended.

    1. Nyaz says:

      I read “new combat” as “new wombat” at first. I’m not sure what that adds to anything, but… uhh…

      …I’m going to stand over here now.

      1. Yeah, in my GURPS game we’re always taking the Wombat Reflexes advantage.

  3. Another_Scott says:

    It looks like what would happen if you gave a chat-bot a twitter account!

  4. Zukhramm says:

    Windows Live on Facebook in the tension would be empty reward schedules.

    It would be, yes, I’m sure it would be.

    Oh and I tried entering Mumbles’ twitter into that thing but I’m just getting random swearing.

    1. JPH says:

      I loved when Mumbles linked to that site that tells you how much you swear on your Twitter account. Apparently I curse like a mute… That actually kind of surprised me.

      1. Kavonde says:

        Uh…like a mute? Are they known for that? I’d think it’d be rather difficult for them.

        1. Zukhramm says:

          They obviously do it through writing.

          1. Kavonde says:

            Aww. So they don’t just stand around in public, mouthing profanities at the top of their lungs?

            1. Zukhramm says:

              Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever met a mute so I do not know how they curse.

        2. JPH says:

          Yeah, apparently I’ve never used a swear word on Twitter. It surprises me, because I curse fairly often in real life and every once in awhile on forums, yet I’ve never cursed on Twitter.

          Then again, nobody actually reads my tweets anyway.

      1. Will says:

        Honestly i’m not entirely sure if that’s something you should be proud of >.>

        1. Mumbles says:

          sadly, it’s just who i am. deep. deep inside of the black cockles in my heart.

          1. Ravens Cry says:

            We loves ya either way, Mumbles.
            Here, for the woman with the higher science.

            1. Newbie says:

              I have just bookmarked that. You sir won my intertubes.

    2. Alexander The 1st says:

      Odd, for Mumbles, I didn’t actually get that much swearing, if at all. It was like it sampled every other clean tweet Mumbles said and jumbled them into my cycle.

      As for Rutskarn:

      “Unfortunately. Addiction is a massive three-week-old squashed spider corpse?”

      Sounds like something he would say.

      Sadly, as of now, I can’t find any puns from him yet. Rutskarn! Your puns aren’t interchangeable!!!!! [/rage]

  5. JPH says:

    I was playing with that site earlier as well. It’s kind of weird how much fun it is to read all the nonsense it generates; it’s not really that clever of a concept if you look at it objectively.

  6. Nostromo says:

    Sitting in the Spoiler Warning!

    You know, that sounds like something you could read on a Japanese T-shirt…

    In fact, where are the Spoiler Warning T-shirts? I can’t even find the Shop button on this website!

    1. Zukhramm says:

      I’d buy one.

      I need a new shirt anyway!

      1. Klay F. says:

        Oh God YES!!! I would buy a “STOP SHOOTING ME!” shirt in a heartbeat.

    2. X2-Eliah says:

      Umm. Chalk one vote up against ‘merchandising’ stuff like t-shirts etc. Over time, it usually grows to be the main focus of the site implementing it, and you get stuff like ‘sorry for no updates for last 2 months, but I had to work hard on the swag store. Also, NEW SHIRTS BUY NOW!!!’.

      If ya want a stop-shooting-me shirt, get a blank one and print it yourself.

      1. ccesarano says:

        Depends. No one said Shamus had to handle it. He could volunteer his wife to make them. :P

        Or someone from the Spoiler Warning crew that is artistically inclined.

        Or someone that reads his blog.

        There are many options for doing t-shirts without it becoming a focus of the blog.

      2. bucaneer says:


        Shamus is a sell-out and you didn’t even notice.

  7. Mailbox says:

    Haha. That’s great. I liked:

    “I can help voting for breakfast?”

    “New Spoiler Warning season should bunny-hop less”
    It’s so relevant to this season.

  8. McNutcase says:

    I cannot possibly top this one from my history: “I despise you. This guy did it: and a lot of stoats. Incidentally, curse you for the Major-General’s Song.”

    Although I now need to search my history for when the heck I was talking about stoats.

  9. HeroOfHyla says:

    Ahahaha. I love this! I tried it on mine. Though since I’ve only made 41 tweets, it didn’t have much to choose from.

    “You’re lucky. It’s the disc check right at startup. I’ve been sick since saturday, oy…”

  10. dyrnwyn says:

    It seriously came up with “I have spoken” that could be straight from your tweets verbatim.

  11. zachrrs says:

    Holy butts, all day. Yeah, I am poor and dog. SO MANY PEOPLE ON MY FEET.

    Proving that was a website. Lookin’ at the music over WiFi. EAT THAT, iPHONE! JK, I hate Haha. Whatever.

    Gonna make a new computer. Maybe she needs a couple shirts .

    *click click click* HAHA, keep arguing with me daddy and not a dozen Beliebers.

    1. Zukhramm says:

      Gonna make a new computer. Maybe she needs a couple shirts .

      I like that one, I don’t know why but I really like it.

      1. zachrrs says:

        Well I’m certainly not going to let my new computer run around the internet naked.

  12. Nyctef says:

    “Mumbles has watched the mind that will infect you.”
    Talking about Rutskarn I see.

    “Thanks for Cerberus.”
    Random OT: Apparently Cerberus are pissed off at you in ME3. This gives me hope for the plot. (Source

    1. Irridium says:

      So either

      A) TIM is pissed that you disobeyed him, which he should have seen coming a mile away but didn’t because he’s an idiot.

      B) He wants to kill you because he now has the base, which makes no damn sense. I thought he said Shepard was the last hope for humanity? So why is he trying to kill the last hope for humanity? Oh yeah, he’s a god damn idiot.

      1. X2-Eliah says:


        God. I’ve been saying that for ages! You can’t give Cerberus the base because they know crap all about prevention.

        1. Zukhramm says:

          TIM is a rogue cell. You’ll team up with the true Cerberus who’re actually good guys. And they’re led by Miranda, regardless of if she died or not in ME2.

          1. Alexander The 1st says:

            Nah, it’ll be Miranda, or Oriana if she’s dead.

      2. Vect says:

        I always assume it’s either “Goddammit Shepard for not giving me mah base” or “Goddammit Shepard where did we go wrong with our resear-ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL”.

  13. Someone says:

    These sound like haikus.

  14. Stumblebee says:

    Y’know, it’s been said that people who have been stabbed and people who play M:TG don’t have anything in common. It’s nice to see you’re reaching out to both of us with your pacing and trash-talk.

    Also: Fifteen Pages of White Hot Agony is a killer band name.

  15. Daemian Lucifer says:

    At least it gives more sensible things than internet translators.

  16. Hal says:

    “Had to get more traffic before 9am than you ever wanted to tell anybody if you have.”

    This sounds like a reference to bowel movements.

  17. Daniel says:

    I’m pretty sure this is how Charlie Sheen came up with the name for his tour.

    1. Jarenth says:

      I'm pretty sure this is how Charlie Sheen came up with everything he’s done lately.

  18. Scott (Duneyrr) says:

    “Fifteen pages of white hot agony” … What ARE you putting in your next book?

  19. Ramsus says:

    I liked “Also, breakfast is screwed. Japan has a new combat.” the best. It sounds like a poorly translated commercial line.

  20. Sleeping Dragon says:

    Did that mind infect Mumbles when she watched it or will it only infect the rest of us? Thanks for Cerberus? Maybe as in “thanks but no thanks”? And I guess kids are worse sins since they outdid themselves to fell (is that how you say this in English?) the authenticity of conventions.

    Also, “watched a mind that will infect you”… there’s a story idea in there…

    I have spoken.

  21. Dan says:

    “FIFTEEN PAGES of white-hot agony. Even sitting next to do Spoiler Warning!” – That should be the new tag for your website. When you Google “Shamus Young” it should totally pull up “Twenty Sided Tale – FIFTEEN PAGES of white-hot agony. Even sitting next to do Spoiler Warning!”

  22. HeadHunter says:

    My favorite was:
    “Had to get more traffic before 9am than you ever wanted to tell anybody if you have.”

    I heard that driving down there was bad, but never realized!

    Now I know where these email spammers get their messages generated. :)

  23. ccesarano says:

    My favorites:

    “I'll high-five you after all, though not even links to say. Goodbye I'm not even there! Go Dan!”

    “FIFTEEN PAGES of white-hot agony. Even sitting next to do Spoiler Warning!”

    “Convention is trending topic.All its authenticity has fallen. Kids have truly outdone themselves.”

    “I have spoken.”

    I decided to give it a whirl. First thing to come up:

    “Got a rip off. Y’know Fable 3 is in Boston Gonna be out where your starter?”

    It would seem that they pull from more recent Tweets, as this one pulled from posts I made about Dragon Age 2, Fable 3, PAX East and Pokemon White.

    “Alright! GameLandEtc news” updates fixed. Now for the quest for, the guy who tried to say screw drafts!”

    “Now I thought I hate you, but hey, I start to set an upcoming Hockey game. I’ll see through the mail.”

    “Nothing like my niece the Plume. Good game. I’ll see through physical opaque objects!”

    Oh my God this is so fun.

  24. Michael says:

    Plugged in Shamus’ and I got this back:

    “Just finished Visceral Games: Guys, love the Indifference Engine. New Minecraft update? Nooooooooo!”

    It almost sounds like a legitimate tweet. Though…. What, pray tell, is the Indifference Engine?

    And the other one I liked:

    “Voted BioWare in Wii Fit. That is a badass bandanna but won’t go away.”

    EDIT: New favorite:

    “I voted for your windmill, sir.”

    DOUBLE EDIT: Man, I could do this all day:

    “Farm sims, bus sims, bus sims, bus sims, bus sims, bus sims, bus sims, train sims. Lots of the Future.”

    1. ccesarano says:

      Most of what it spits back is gibberish, but the occasional gold nugget.

      “I voted for your windmill, sir”

      That is good stuff.

    2. Volatar says:

      “Farm sims, bus sims, bus sims, bus sims, bus sims, bus sims, bus sims, train sims. Lots of the Future.”

      Oh my god this thing can predict the future!

    3. Nyctef says:

      @shamusyoung: “Just invented a machine capable of calculating polynomial functions, but won’t because it doesn’t care. I call it the Indifference Engine.”

  25. Galad says:

    I’m solely using my Twitter for Echo Bazaar and a bit of march mayhem from last year, so my funny stuff is different from what you’d expect probably :P

    “Who carves horse-head amulets out of March Mayhem Tournament! I voted for Capcom.”

    “They say it’s the escapist magazine’s march mayhem: I voted for in the Starveling Cat!”

    “You are not indelicate. The Orient. You’ll be the very fruitful subject.”

  26. Thadius Girth says:

    This is the funniest one I’ve gotten.

    “Breeding duties…? Electrical shorting in my MSPAFA, I saw both black Adam Sandler and horse F***in.”

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