Life of Warcraft

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Nov 25, 2009

Filed under: Video Games 40 comments

Yesterday John Funk asked what the world would be like without WoW. I think the following is an amusing (if impertinent) answer to that:

Assume 15 million subscribers.

Assume they play an average of 100 hours. (Which is probably low.)

That’s 1,500,000,000 (1.5 billion) hours of Warcraft.

Which is 62,500,000 days.

Which is 171,233 years.

Which is 2,195 lifetimes, using the current life expectancy of 78.

Over two thousand lifetimes of gameplay.

Of course, this is based on the assumption that players will clock an average of 100 hours. Sure, there are people with weeks and even months of in-game time clocked, but there will also be some with just a couple of hours.

Without any way of breaking it down, the “100 hours” is nothing more than an extremely conservative guess. I’ve Google’d about and I couldn’t find any solid numbers. (Which isn’t surprising, since it’s not the sort of thing Blizzard is likely to proclaim / admit.)

Exercise: How could we go about coming up with a better “hours played” estimate? Is it possible to look at the player dB, get a count of total characters / levels, and do the math from there?

 


 

Stolen Pixels #145: Re: Your Box Art

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Nov 24, 2009

Filed under: Column 44 comments

The new comic is up. It’s about the proposed box art for Mass Effect 2. Note that it borders on false advertising. I mean, look at it! It shows commander Shepard looking angry, when anyone who has played the game knows that he has the emotional range of Ben Stein at his own wake.

Below is some director’s commentary on why I’m not quite happy with this one.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Stolen Pixels #145: Re: Your Box Art”

 


 

A Star is Born:
Let’s Play Champions Online Pt. 10

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Nov 24, 2009

Filed under: Shamus Plays 56 comments

I know last time I promised that we’d head for the city, but I needed to take a quick detour first. See, Canada runs out of content around level 12 or 13, but the city pretty much starts at level 15. What’s odd is that Doc Severisen gives you the quest to go to the city, and it’s tagged as a level 12 quest. This was very confusing my first time through the game, as I followed the natural progression and went where the NPC’s told me to, and suddenly found myself in WAY over my head and unable to figure out where I should go for level-appropriate content.

The problem seems to be that the city needs a few more quests in the level 12-14 range. Three levels is a pretty big gap, and the smartest way to close it is to go back and play the level 12-13 content in the desert. (Or if you’ve been in the desert, then go to Canada.) Just having the NPC’s point you to the other leveling zone instead of the city would probably alleviate a lot of the first-character frustrations.

Anyway, I’ve been through the desert*. I just cherry-picked a few missions rather than following a sensible quest progression, so it would be kind of unfair for me to take potshots at plot holes with this setup. Let’s just move on…

* If you’re over 30, I just got that one song suck in your head**.
** Ha ha! Sucker.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “A Star is Born:
Let’s Play Champions Online Pt. 10″

 


 

Wow, it’s your Birthday!

By Shamus Posted Monday Nov 23, 2009

Filed under: Video Games 36 comments

Happy birthday to World of Warcraft. Five years old already? *Sniff* They grow up so fast.

I’m having a hard time imagining when WoW might ever end. Even ten-year-old Everquest is still rolling and still receiving fresh content. If EQ is still going strong at ten, then how long can the juggernaut WoW survive? Fifteen? Twenty years? Given the lengths they’re going to in order to keep the game from looking dated or getting stale, it’s hard to imagine a point where it would make economic sense to shut it down.

Someday a game will nudge WoW from its perch. I wonder what game that will be. Many have tried and so far I don’t think anything has really come close in terms of raw user count.

Oops. I sort of spent the WoW birthday post musing about how it might be killed or when it might perish on its own. Really bad form. Note that I was just asking, I’m not actually looking forward to its end.

Anyway, happy birthday WoW.

 


 

Desert Bus

By Shamus Posted Monday Nov 23, 2009

Filed under: Nerd Culture 20 comments

Some people are hazy on the details of Desert Bus and how this thing got started. Let us make savage war on this ignorance:

It begins with Penn & Teller, the comedy magician duo.

penn_teller.jpg

In 1995 they loaned their likenesses and creativity for making a videogame, Penn & Teller’s Smoke and Mirrors for the Sega CD. The company that was making the game went out of business before it was released, and the whole project seemingly vanished into the bit bucket.

This picture is inappropriate on purpose.

Then in 2003, the guys from Penny Arcade launched Child’s Play, which is a charity dedicated to raising money to get videogame stuff for kids in the hospital.

Back in 2006, when that thing happened to my daughter, she and I were together at Children’s Hospital for several days. The playroom was indeed outfitted with videogame systems (Xboxes, at the time) and while I don’t know that they were the fruit of Child’s Play, I can certainly speak to the utility of such things when a kid is sick and can’t go home to their stuff.

The most boring game ever made.

And speaking of 2006, that’s when a review copy of the still-unreleased Penn & Teller game found its way into the hands of Frank Cifaldi, who maintains Lost Levels, a website devoted to unreleased games.

It turns out that Smoke and Mirrors is a lot like the Penn & Teller Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends. The game was a collection of mini-games designed to fool your friends into thinking you were psychic, smarter than them, or good at videogames. All except for one minigame…

Desert Bus lets you simulate a drive from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada. In real time. At a maximum speed of 45mph. And you can’t pause the game. And the bus veers to the right, so you can’t just tape down the button, but must constantly course-correct to stay on the road. If you manage to make the entire eight hour trip, you score one point. And then you can do the return trip. If you drive off the road, you will be towed – in realtime – back to your starting point.

The minigame was a response to some of the anti-videogame rhetoric that was in play at the time. (And, seeing as how I wrote a column about that sort of thing at The Escapist just last week, I think we can conclude that little has changed except the names of the Eternally Offended On Behalf Of The Children.) Penn Jillette explained that the game existed as a way of giving the critics the kind of games they seemed to be demanding: Practical, realistic, and just as boring as real life.


Link (YouTube)

Then in 2007, the team from Loading Ready Run did a charity event: Desert Bus for Hope. The idea was that they would play Desert Bus non-stop in order to raise money for Child’s Play. They would have drivers working in four hour shifts, and would continue to drive as long as people continued to donate money.

From their website:

How long the team has to play Desert Bus is determined by the donations we receiveâ€"The more you donate, the longer we play.

In order to reflect the increasing challenge as the marathon goes on, the donations required to add another hour increase geometrically every hour.

The first hour costs $1.00, and the cost-per-hour goes up by 7% every hour (meaning the second costs $1.07). This means that the 10th hour of busing costs $1.84 and total donations are $13.82, whereas the 40th hour costs $13.99 but has made a total of $199.64.

Last year they raised over $70,000, which compelled them to drive for five days. Jerry Holkins of Penny Arcade described it as “a prison made of money”. Seeing as how he helped found the charity in question and his voice drove a great many of the donors to the site, I think it can be said that he is the warden of said prison.

This was a thing that happened at one point.

This year the event has four main channels of interaction:

1) A live feed of the game itself, so you can watch the tedium in real time.
2) A live feed of the crew, who do a great job of trying to be as entertaining as possible, as opposed to staring at the screen and talking about how much the game sucks. (There’s only one person driving, but the room is usually full of conversations and fun.)
3) A live chat, which is an anarchic madhouse of hundreds of people vying for the attention of the hosts.
4) Twitter, which is being used to spread the word and also allows people to issue individual challenges and requests. Generally, someone will pledge some amount of money to see some particular deed performed. Perhaps a song they want the cast to sing, or for someone to put on a funny hat. If the target agrees, the donor coughs up the dough and the deed is then done.

(Usually the deed is performed on the spot for the amusement of the people viewing the live stream, but occasionally more challenging feats will be accepted for larger amounts of money, and may require the host to go somewhere else and do a thing. An example: On Saturday night someone put up money to have Kathleen De Vere go see New Moon. On her own initiative she additionally did this drunk, and gave running commentary through Twitter. And later threw up. Despite the drunkenness, the vomiting, and being stuck in a room with the most boring videogame ever made for days at a time, the only complaints she’s made have been about New Moon.)

Visit the Desert Bus website to see the current total for this year, how long they will be obliged to drive, and how you can donate if you feel moved to do so.

 


 

Escapist News Network: Sorcerers Demand Equal Rites

By Shamus Posted Saturday Nov 21, 2009

Filed under: Movies 17 comments

Hey Graham, Kathleen, Paul, and the rest of the Loading Ready Run cast & crew: I have a little question for your team, which I hope you will not think is too impertinent. Just a query from a fan who wants to know a little bit about you personally. Seeing as how you guys put out your weekly LRR skit, plus Unskippable, plus ENN, plus the odd video extra and side-project now and again, my query is thus:

Do you SLEEP? Are you a squad of tireless and unstoppable Canadian comedy robots or something? Have you cloned yourselves? HOW DO YOU ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THIS EVERY SINGLE WEEK?

People give me credit for my output here and at the Escapist, but this is just prose and comics. Video is incredibly time consuming to produce, and these guys turn out a lot of it.

I especially liked ENN this week:

Making matters worse is that they’re now doing Desert Bus for Hope, where they play a non-stop Desert Bus marathon as long as people donate money to charity. Essentially, we pay money to have them tortured for our amusement. Communal griefing of public figures as entertainment. I am very curious how they will manage to produce this week’s offerings while trapped in a small room with the most boring game ever made. Check out the live feed of that event here.

 


 

Experienced Points: Sex, Violence, and the Wii

By Shamus Posted Friday Nov 20, 2009

Filed under: Column 25 comments

How the heck can the Wii help us have more games with sex & violence?

Perhaps this is more hope than theory, but even die-hard cynics are allowed occasional dalliances with pleasant speculation.