Twenty Sided

By Shamus Posted Monday Jun 23, 2008

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Final Thoughts 

I picked up UT3 a couple of weeks ago. I’d just finished it when Guild Wars fell into my hands, and I never got around to writing about it. I suppose I could save all of us a lot of time by just saying it sucks, but part of how we do business here is to catalog how things suck, a process which begins now:

Mark Twain famously took a version of his story “The Jumping Frog”, which had been translated into French, and translated it back into English. The translation from English to French to English again results in rich comedic nonsense. This is not unlike what we find with Unreal Tournament 3, which seems to have been ported from the PC to the Playstation 3 and back again.

The interface is a warren of festering idiocy. The game begins with what feels like a half dozen splash screens and ads, meaning you have to bang away at the ESC key repeatedly to get to the menu where you can log in. This is step one, meaning it happens before you decide if you’re going to play single or multi-player. You can choose not to log in, but you still have to deal with the login screen either way.

If you play the single-player campaign, you can only play the currently unlocked mission. If you go back and re-play one from earlier in the game, it will overwrite your one and only save game and you will be reset to that earlier part of the game. I should point out that UT99, the nine-year-old original in this series, could cope with replaying old missions without doing anything this stupid. Even the PS3 is no longer limited by “slots” on a memory card. We got these fancy newfangled hard-drive thingies, and there is no reason for the game to do this.

The game always, always pops up a warning about how my network might be mis-configured when I’m starting a single player game. I always have to mouse over and click “ok”.

Taking a cue from the worst parts of Vista, the game is constantly throwing up popups to the effect of, “Are you sure you want to do that thing you just did?” You cannot disable these. You just have to keep clicking “ok”. Every. Damn. Time. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Unreal Tournament 3:
First and Last Impressions”

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

 Guild Wars:
GameplayPrevious Post

Next PostSins of a Solar Empire:
Final Thoughts 

41 comments

BioShock: DRM Forever

By Shamus Posted Monday Jun 23, 2008

Filed under: Rants 34 comments

 Mass Effect: Three StrikesPrevious Post

Next PostWorld of Warcraft:
Dropping the Ball 

Ok, I need to straighten this out. I keep hearing about how 2kGames “removed the DRM from BioShock”. Kotaku, and others keep repeating this. Just to be clear: 2kGames has not removed the DRM at all. SecuROM is still there. The need for online activation is still there. All they have done is allow you to install as many times as you want. Big deal.

Ken Levine promised – on behalf of 2kGames, sort of, that online activation would be removed. I was looking forward to that. But our old friend 2kElizabeth delivers the awful truth:

As I promised that the activation limits would go away, I can promise that if we ever stop supporting BioShock in the ways you speak of, we will release a patch so that the game is still playable. I believe, as you seem to, that BioShock will be the kind of game we will want to revisit 5, 10, 15 or more years from now. I want my copy to be playable, just as you do, and so does 2K.

No you won’t, you clueless mouthpiece.

This is not something to cheer about. What they have announced here is that they aren’t going to remove the DRM. They have, in fact, announced that they are keeping this septic idiocy, forever.

There is a version of the game available that doesn’t have SecuROM or online activation. It’s the version the pirates put out, months ago. I was really hoping they would keep their word and remove the need for online activation, because I really wanted to pay them money and play the game.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

 Mass Effect: Three StrikesPrevious Post

Next PostWorld of Warcraft:
Dropping the Ball 

34 comments

WoW: LFG

By Shamus Posted Sunday Jun 22, 2008

Filed under: Projects 38 comments

 About the ComicsPrevious Post

Next PostGTA:SA:PC: Strangeness 

I’ve played on several servers, both Horde and Alliance. I’ve started several characters and met quite a few people. It’s been fun, and now that I’ve taken that first big draught I think I know enough to pick a home and focus on just a few characters. (Having only one character? Are you mad?) I’ve found a server where I’m happy, Alliance-side. (Kirin Tor.) Now I’m looking for something Horde side. Here is what I’m interested in:

Roleplaying server – It’s like a magical idiot filter!
Non-PvP – I’m a builder, not a competitor.
Something with a nice mature guild of people that can let me join and who can tolerate the endless onslaught of newbie questions.

On Kirin Tor, I’ve joined the Pig & Whistle Society, who have all endured my child-like fountain of questions with admirable patience. I’m looking for something similar Horde side.

Just my notes on what I plan to write on this game cover a page. I was planning to do a new MMO every couple of weeks, but there is no way I can get a handle on WoW in that timeframe.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

 About the ComicsPrevious Post

Next PostGTA:SA:PC: Strangeness 

38 comments

The Beginning of The End

By Shamus Posted Saturday Jun 21, 2008

Filed under: Personal 91 comments

 Guild WarsPrevious Post

Next PostPvP Posting 

I have now acquired the tool through which I may orchestrate my own undoing. Behold, and despair:

After about four years of people badgering me to try this game, it’s finally happening. Every time I complain about an RPG I hear “You should try WoW”. Well, now I’m trying it. If it’s as addictive as people claim, then this website is probably doomed. Savor this post. It might be sitting here for a while.

I still can’t say much about the sudden change of heart in regards to MMO games, but it is related to the comics I’ll have coming out in a few weeks. And no, it’s nothing to do with the WoW comic contest. I’d enter that, but I’m not sure my particular brand of humor will tickle the funnybones inside of Blizzard when I aim it in their direction.

Joining this game is proving to be tougher than I anticipated. In Wow I have several people I consider to be personal friends who I’d like to play with, but none of them are on the same server. So choosing a server means, in effect, choosing between my friends. I suppose this is an appropriate beginning to a game famous for destroying friendships and ending marriages.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

 Guild WarsPrevious Post

Next PostPvP Posting 

91 comments

Guild Wars:
Gameplay

By Shamus Posted Friday Jun 20, 2008

Filed under: Game Reviews 42 comments

 Guild Wars:
Massively Single PlayerPrevious Post

Next PostUnreal Tournament 3:
First and Last Impressions 

Let’s break Guild Wars (Prophesies) down into its distinct player goals and activities. You know how we do.

Story

What really sets Guild Wars apart from other MMO games (or whatever we’re calling this thing) is the fact that it even has a story at all. Most MMOs don’t have stories, they have settings. They have an initial state or premise that provides conflict, and you participate in that conflict, forever. (Or until you cancel.) But here we have a story that allows player actions to impact the world itself. The world undergoes drastic changes as the player moves forward, and they are a major part of those changes.

The story here is surprising in how conventional it is. This is a world of fantastic magic, but the conflict portrayed isn’t against some extra-dimensional evil from beyond the nether that threatens the very fabric of reality. It’s pretty much just a war. It’s a war that goes quite badly for the good guys at first, but in the mid stages of the game they aren’t telegraphing a coming conflict with one guy who is behind the whole thing. There doesn’t seem to be a rift that needs closing by a lone hero. No gathering up of the seven shards of awesome holy problem-fixing. No necromancer to kill so that his whole army will collapse into dust and then daises and sunshine appear. No chosen one. And strangely enough, no Prophesies. (Yet.) It’s just a war where the enemy got hold of a tactical advantage (a new magic that lets them fireball a city at a distance) and the good guys are forced to take a beating until they can come up with a way to counter it. Perhaps the story will pick up on one of the more familiar tropes once things get a little further (I’m nowhere near done with the game, and it is called prophesies after all) but for now I’m enjoying the novelty of a story that doesn’t start with the chosen one and end with the defeat of Baron Von Badass.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Guild Wars:
Gameplay”

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

 Guild Wars:
Massively Single PlayerPrevious Post

Next PostUnreal Tournament 3:
First and Last Impressions 

42 comments

My Comment on a Comment on Your Comments

By Shamus Posted Friday Jun 20, 2008

Filed under: Random 58 comments

 Guild Wars:
You Can't get There from HerePrevious Post

Next PostBlizzard Support 

This is the nicest compliment I’ve seen in weeks. Someone linked to one of my posts on Hellgate: London, and the second person in the comments has this to say:

The strangest thing about that article is the comments… comment after comment of coherent English and paragraphs.

I rarely draw attention to this, lest I upset whatever alchemy has created this rare oasis of wit and civility. The comments on this site stand in stark contrast to the childishness and idiocy that flourishes elsewhere on the net. I know it, and I know I’m fortunate in this regard.

It would be arrogant to the extreme for me to try and take credit for the quality of the comments on the site. (Aside from, you know, the ones I wrote. In which case I must accept both credit and blame.) As much as I’d like to believe that my writing has drawn in an unnaturally rich supply of clever people, I know the truth is that I’m in debt to all the nice people who take their time to be thoughtful, articulate, and witty in the comments.

For this you have my heartfelt thanks.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

 Guild Wars:
You Can't get There from HerePrevious Post

Next PostBlizzard Support 

58 comments

Guild Wars:
You Can’t get There from Here

By Shamus Posted Thursday Jun 19, 2008

Filed under: Random 50 comments

 MMO's and Meeting UpPrevious Post

Next PostMy Comment on a Comment on Your Comments 

My number one complaint with Guild Wars (Prophesies) is that the outdoor areas have a really bad case of habitrail. You can sometimes see where you’re going, but you can’t get there without meandering all over the place like little Billy in a Family Circus comic. The map usually shows a green arrow to indicate your destination but knowing the direction you want to go is useless when you’re at the mercy of snaking, branching trails. I think they should replace that icon with a piece of cheese, because I usually felt like a lab rat running a maze by the time I reached it.

Sometimes you’ll see where you want to go, which is usually another path, just like the one you’re on, but down a tiny little dirt slope. But you can’t just jump down. No, you have to embark on some sort of Lewis & Clark expedition to find the route down there, walking over hills and through canyons and fighting waves of bloodthirsty foes before you reach that spot ten feet below you. Hills divide the landscape like walls, blocking your view of the gorgeous horizon so that you spend most of your time staring at brown and beige hillsides.

Below is the path you follow for one of the missions in the game. For the most part your mission is just to walk from A to B with a few stops along the way, but check out the route imposed on you by the terrain:

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Guild Wars:
You Can’t get There from Here”

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

 MMO's and Meeting UpPrevious Post

Next PostMy Comment on a Comment on Your Comments 

50 comments

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Overused Words in Game Titles

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