Arkham City Part 10: Solomon Grumpy

By Shamus Posted Thursday Mar 30, 2017

Filed under: Batman 79 comments

So it’s finally time for Batman to confront Penguin at the end of the Museum. Technically he doesn’t need to do this. He’s rescued Freeze and the clock is still ticking on both his poisoning and Protocol 10. But Penguin has been an enormous pain in the ass and Batman is having trouble staying on-task tonight.

Let’s talk about Penguin’s plan…

Penguin’s Plan

Penguin is standing on a table, on a catwalk, on a pile of ice, on a heap of explosives, on the floor of the lounge, which is above an underground arena that contains Solomon Grundy.
Penguin is standing on a table, on a catwalk, on a pile of ice, on a heap of explosives, on the floor of the lounge, which is above an underground arena that contains Solomon Grundy.

Penguin had a lot of layers of defense between himself and Batman. He had barbed wire fences, waves of goons, guys with guns, a flooded room with a shark (yes really) and high-security electronic gates. Batman defeated them all, because of course he did. This is all fine. I like all of these contingency plans. They’re fun to overcome and they make Penguin seem resourceful.

But once you get into the final room, you get to the part of the game where they threw the writer out of the room and handed control over to the guy in charge of designing boss fights. To explain, let’s imagine the conversation that took place about an hour before Batman arrived…

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Andromeda Hangout

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Mar 29, 2017

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 97 comments

A couple of weeks ago Josh and I got together with Jarenth to stream Mass Effect: Andromeda. Here is the archived video:


Link (YouTube)

I don’t have the game yet, so I don’t have anything to add to what was said during the stream. I know people are curious if I’m going to cover Andromeda, so let’s talk about what I’ve written and what I’m planning to write…

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Nan o’ War CH5: A Miner Complication

By Rutskarn Posted Tuesday Mar 28, 2017

Filed under: Lets Play 44 comments

On returning from the set of Sister Act 3: Wait There Was a Sister Act 2?, I stop in to the tavern and the Suspicious Man asks:

That’s a good question! In no particular order:

An explanation, an apology, two hours of my life, a day’s vacation, a medal, and your shifty ballsack hanging off my new vessel’s prow like a pair of fuzzy goddamn dice. What I am going to settle for is my money. I’m in it for the piastres, so quit flaking and hand over the dough.

And he does! The full, reasonably large amount. Suddenly I’ve got some actual capital to work with. I’m now blessed with enough to buy a boat, get out of town, and find me some content that isn’t fundamentally weird and broken.

Hm.

Well, I dunno. How about another one first?

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This Dumb Industry: Fixing Match 3

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Mar 28, 2017

Filed under: Column 132 comments

I’m sure you’re familiar with Match-3 games. It’s this omnipresent thing in the world of mobile gaming. BeJeweled is the most famous example, although I think Candy Crush is the one that’s made the most money. There are literally hundreds of these things floating around out there in various cloned forms. They’re ideally suited to mobile gaming. The interface is simple, it’s colorful, you don’t depend on audio cues, and the rounds last about five minutes. That’s perfect for a game to play on your phone while waiting for the bus.

But these games are also sort of shallow and broken. Their gameplay is crippled by specific flaws that pushes the player into boring play. The most interesting play is different from the most rewarding way to play. It’s like a version of Space Invaders where the way to get the best score is to stand still and spam the attack button as fast as possible instead of dodging and aiming your shots.

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Diecast #193: Night in the Woods, KONA, Everything

By Shamus Posted Monday Mar 27, 2017

Filed under: Diecast 52 comments



Download.
Hosts: Josh, Rutskarn, Shamus, Campster and Baychel.

Hilariously, I managed to introduce the first segment without ever saying the name of the game. Sometimes coherent communication is hard.

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A Walk Downtown

By Shamus Posted Sunday Mar 26, 2017

Filed under: Personal 112 comments

Before my daughter Rachel moved out, we used to go for walks around town and I’d tell her little stories and anecdotes about the locations we came across. It was one of my favorite things to do together. I’m in the mood to take one of those walks by way of Google Street View, and I’ve decided to drag you along.

Grab your coat. It’s still chilly out this time of year.

Butler PA

I’ll admit this is not a brilliant town. My attachment to Butler is 100% nostalgic. If I’d grown up somewhere else, I wouldn’t give this place a second look.

There’s not much here that’s special. The only famous things to come out of Butler are the Jeep and Barbara FeldonYou might know her as Agent 99.
. It’s one of those obnoxious towns that “steals” the highway. You know how it is: You’re minding your own business driving from one town to the next when all of a sudden the highway you’re on transforms into Main Street. Now you’re tangled up in downtown traffic and staring at the chorus line of traffic lights stretching off into the distance, wondering where it all went wrong.

It’s actually even worse than that, but I’ll explain when we get to the south end of Main Street. Let’s start on the north side and walk south.

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Dishonored DLC – Brigmore Witches EP6: Kill the Cheese

By Shamus Posted Friday Mar 24, 2017

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 74 comments


Link (YouTube)

So that’s the end of Dishonored 1.

I wanted to comment on how they handled the non-lethal ending for Delilah, but I’m stumped. Maybe I could branch off and talk about how this goes against the grain of the ideas they planted for Dishonored 2, but that rings hollow and it’s probably better to just leaf it alone. In my defense: Rutskarn lost connection before the end, and if I hadn’t made all these shitty tree puns, he certainly wood have.

Despite my unrepentant sloth and apathy, the show will go on. The next season of Spoiler Warning is going to be…

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