T w e n t y S i d e d
Contrary to the promise made earlier this week, my column isn’t the word “Chime” over and over again for three pages. Sorry. Instead, it’s simply a modest proposal for the fanboys of the internet on how to do their job.
Stolen Pixels #227: PUNishment
You people and your endless “bee” puns. You think you’re so funny. Well now look at what you made me do. LOOK AT IT. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? IS IT? LOOK AT WHAT I’VE BECOME! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. I HATE YOU!
Spoiler Warning 3×7: Hold W to Win!
Atlas continues to guide us through the zany madcap world of “BoyoShock”.
Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself. At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index. |
Also, to those of you who made all the bee puns in the last episode: My revenge is coming. Tomorrow.
Mass Effect 2: Mordin Solus Part 4
So now we get to the bit where we talk about Mordin Solus.
The New Genophage
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In Mass Effect 2, Mordin reveals to you that your initial impression of the Krogan genophage in Mass Effect 1 was incorrect. (Or, if we’re not feeling generous, that it’s been retconned.) The Korgans were no longer dying out. Their numbers were increasing. Natural selection was helping the Krogan overcome the genophage. The effect was small at first, but left unchecked the Krogan would again become a problem once their numbers increased too far.
The Salarians worked on a secret project to create a new strain of the genophage that would correct this. They took great pains to make sure that the new genophage was strong enough, but also that they didn’t make it too strong. Krogan extinction was seen as undesirable an outcome as Krogan proliferation. Mordin was part of this team.
I see the events leading up to Mordin as being the outcome of 4 important decisions, each one more difficult and problematic than the last:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mass Effect 2: Mordin Solus Part 4”
Stolen Pixels #226: Chime Chime Chime
Spoiler Warning 3×6: The Hazardous Vector
Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself. At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index. |
PAX Coverage: SpyParty and Monaco
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If there were two booths that I lurked around the most at PAX, it had to have been Monaco and SpyParty. With other game booths, especially the big ones, people seemed to be very determined and slightly annoyed while standing in line and playing the games. In fact, the people playing Fallout: New Vegas didn’t appear to be that different from someone who was wine tasting. They understood that they’d only be given a hint of a particularly expensive game and needed to gather as much information as they could with such a small sample. Instead of trying to guess if there was an oak or nutty flavor, players were silently asking questions. What was the gameplay like? How much of the story can I get a peek at? Is this game going to be worth my money and time?
Meanwhile, the Monaco and SpyParty booths reminded me more of a late-night college common room. People were laughing, joking with each other, shouting and even holding meaningful conversations off to the side. Both of these indie games knew they were going into the convention as underdogs, so they had to prove how fun their game was going to be or people would walk right on past. Along with an upbeat energy, both games exhibited extremely unique multiplayer features that caught the attention of gamers and turned their little section of the con into something of an arcade.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “PAX Coverage: SpyParty and Monaco”
From The Archives:
What is Vulkan?
There's a new graphics API in town. What does that mean, and why do we need it?
The Game That Ruined Me
Be careful what you learn with your muscle-memory, because it will be very hard to un-learn it.
Bethesda NEVER Understood Fallout
Let's count up the ways in which Bethesda has misunderstood and misused the Fallout property.
Bowlercoaster
Two minutes of fun at the expense of a badly-run theme park.
Wolfenstein II
This is a massive step down in story, gameplay, and art design when compared to the 2014 soft reboot. Yet critics rated this one much higher. What's going on here?
The Witch Watch
My first REAL published book, about a guy who comes back from the dead due to a misunderstanding.
The Disappointment Engine
No Man's Sky is a game seemingly engineered to create a cycle of anticipation and disappointment.
Tenpenny Tower
Bethesda felt the need to jam a morality system into Fallout 3, and they blew it. Good and evil make no sense and the moral compass points sideways.
Why Batman Can't Kill
His problem isn't that he's dumb, the problem is that he bends the world he inhabits.
Blistering Stupidity of Fallout 3
Yeah, this game is a classic. But the story is idiotic, incoherent, thematically confused, and patronizing.