Lord of the Rings Online #4: Dressed to Kill

By Shamus Posted Sunday Mar 20, 2016

Filed under: Shamus Plays 22 comments

If you remember from earlier we’re following the story of the Hobbit Lulzy. She’s my dual class Minstrel / Clotheshorse and she’s stuck in the Human town of Archet. Brigands surround the place, threatening to attack. She was led to Archet by Amdir the Ranger. Amdir is to the Rangers what Aquaman is to the Justice League: Slightly better than the average guy, but so much worse than the rest of the team that he only drags them down.

Amdir got himself stabbed by a Nazgul, and since then he’s been laying in the middle of town, being useless. (So, no change so far.) Now it’s up to Lulzy to take his place and aid in the defense of the town.

Well, I dealt a decisive blow against the brigands by killing a small handful of them. This should make sure the rest of them are good and pissed off when they show up and destroy the city later tonight. Now I’m thinking I should take a walk around town and see who else needs help. More importantly, I should see if they have any fun clothes to offer.

You're no Hermione, that's for sure.
You're no Hermione, that's for sure.

First up I meet Ann Granger. A female soldier, who is guarding the lodge where the bulk of the town guard is hanging out and stuffing their faces. I’m glad to see the humans have such a progressive attitude towards women in warfare. It’s heartening to see women demonstrating our strength and independence by standing beside the men and having adventures of our own!

“Hail sister! What do you need?”, I greet her.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Lord of the Rings Online #4: Dressed to Kill”

 


 

Good Robot #45: Old Robot

By Rutskarn Posted Saturday Mar 19, 2016

Filed under: Good Robot 34 comments

 

Some of you may not have gathered this from my last two posts, but I, Rutskarn, was hired to write the award-winning* script of Good Robot. What you might also have missed (because I never actually brought it up) was that I was hired to write the script by Shamus in 2013. Which was a very different time for gaming; the Oculus Rift was a potentially overhyped newcomer and had yet to revolutionize videogames forever, The Last Guardian was still in development, and gaming channels on YouTube grappled with the thankfully short-lived “Wild West Apocalypse” model of copyright claims and takedowns. Heady times.

But at least one thing in this crazy world has remained constant, and that’s my willingness to (under reasonable duress) actually write Good Robot. Which I did–all the way back in 2013. Now three years later one thing in gaming really has changed, and that’s Good Robot, because the old script is now completely useless. As in, nothing could be saved–not even the model of storytelling. The changes we’d made to the game meant a total rewrite was necessary.

Let’s talk about why.

This is actually the first of a two-part series, but you don’t need to read either one to understand the other. That’s important, because this post–and only this post–is absolutely one hundred percent farm-certified Spoiler Free. The next one will hint at the context of the new game without, I think, spoiling anything, but consider yourself warned. Now–let’s hop right in.

*Shamus has already guaranteed me a lock on this year’s Goldun Riter Awward, but I’m also gunning for the Horace Peasmasher Wrote Man’s Pennant, a prestigious prize granted thus far only to Wizards of Wor, CD Boggle (Sponsored by Kellog Cereals!), and Seasons of Mystery: The Cherry Blossom Murders. And even–dare I say it–a Writer’s Guild award, that I might join The Force Unleashed and Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood as the premier storytelling achievements of the modern age.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Good Robot #45: Old Robot”

 


 

Mass Effect Retrospective 39: Cerberus Set Up Us The Bomb

By Shamus Posted Thursday Mar 17, 2016

Filed under: Mass Effect 229 comments

EDI, the Normandy’s self-aware unshackled AI core, is scanning the inert robo-body of Dr. Coré when the robot comes to life and fights back. EDI wins, and downloads herself into the body. She emerges from the smoke of the conflict, swinging her new hips and effortlessly sauntering around in her high-heel… feet?

Robomantic Comedy

So Dr. Eva Coré had a solid plastic shell instead of hair and nobody noticed?
So Dr. Eva Coré had a solid plastic shell instead of hair and nobody noticed?

Remember that Dr. Eva Coré was a robot that posed as a human. Now we’re seeing her metallic innards with with her clothes and fleshy exterior burned away. You might expect she would be shaped like a terminator, since the writer seems to like that design so much, and also because that’s what human beings look like with the fleshy parts removed. But no. As luck would have it, EDI’s insides just happen to look like a fashion mannequin.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mass Effect Retrospective 39: Cerberus Set Up Us The Bomb”

 


 

Ruts vs. Battlespire CH1: Body By Bethesda

By Rutskarn Posted Wednesday Mar 16, 2016

Filed under: Lets Play 80 comments

Released in 1996, The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall is one of the most seminal genre-transforming RPGs ever released.

Released in 1997, An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire is an RPG.

Daggerfall features gameplay that innovates on nearly every feature of the series. It uses its open world and nonstandard player goals to directly challenge the idea fantasy games should be fun-but-linear dungeon crawl experiences.

Battlespire features gameplay.

Daggerfall is broken, shabbily designed, clearly at the limits of its developer’s ability–but through the strength of its core design it emerges as a loveable experience, extraordinary for when it came out–even enjoyable by a certain kind of modern player.

We’re going to be playing Battlespire.

You might think that this is one of those old fantasy games full of cheap titillation. So, go ahead.
You might think that this is one of those old fantasy games full of cheap titillation. So, go ahead.

Don’t expect me to give much background. The game’s “best” experienced completely fresh. I know this isn’t a high bar, but it’s by far the most surprising Bethesda game I’ve ever played (this isn’t counting the NGAGE titles, which nobody played). If Morrowind made me feel awe and Skyrim made me feel powerful, Battlespire made me feel like there was a hidden camera in my Del Taco bag. It’s like meeting your best friend’s brother and discovering he wears tweed trenchcoats, speaks in a crooning, giggling whisper, and is pathologically obsessed with collecting six-inch porcelain dolls. Any of the three would be a little odd. Observing all of them over the course of one ebelskiver brunch guarantees you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg, and you can’t help but wonder: how can these two individuals be related?

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Ruts vs. Battlespire CH1: Body By Bethesda”

 


 

Diecast Autoplays

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Mar 15, 2016

Filed under: Notices 35 comments

Dear valued Firefox reader: Yes, I know the Diecast is autoplaying when you visit the site. I’m just putting up this post as a catch-all so people don’t feel obliged to comment / email / tweet about it to me.

Sadly, it’s a bug in Firefox. Specifically, Firefox is incorrectly ignoring the autoplay=”false” directive. A few people have worked out the conditions required for the problem to manifest, which you can read about here.

Supposedly I could fix this by dumping the legacy <embed> tags and use only HTML5. That would (possibly) fix things for Firefox users, at the expense of people using old browsers or… pfft. I dunno. I don’t know how important the embed tag is, to be honest.

After some deliberation, I figured it’s a bad idea to punish non-Firefox people for the bugs in FF, so I’m keeping the embed for now. (Although I’d welcome some speculation / information on who uses it and how important it is.) As a temporary fix, I’ve moved the audio player off the front page for now. Hopefully the FF team gets this hammered out quickly.

 


 

Good Robot #44: Coming April 5

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Mar 15, 2016

Filed under: Good Robot 120 comments

The date is set. We’re now committed to launch on April 5, or embarrass ourselves forever. Here’s the announcement trailer:


Link (YouTube)

Allow me to anticipate your questions: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Good Robot #44: Coming April 5”

 


 

Experienced Points: How YouTube Can Fix Itself

By Shamus Posted Monday Mar 14, 2016

Filed under: Column 72 comments

My column this week is more cathartic than helpful. It shows a number of ways YouTube could make life better for everyone at no cost to themselves (and in some cases, for a small profit) but they won’t because the human beings at Google are insulted from public interaction by many layers of obfuscation, and company policy changes at a glacial pace.

Also: YouTube rolled out YouTube Gaming this week. As far as I can tell, it’s my usual YouTube feed with non-gaming stuff filtered out, with a black background. I don’t have anything bad to say about it, but I do find myself shifting back to YouTube Prime after just a couple of minutes. It’s not bad, it just doesn’t seem to offer me anything I need. But maybe it’s aimed at the Twitch streams and PewDiePie crowd? I honestly don’t know.