|SEPERATED AT THE ASSMBLY LINE?|
Top: D-Tritus, your main character from Scrapland. Tommy Vercetti he aint.
BOTTOM: Rodney, the protagonist in the movie Robots.
The game styles itself as a freeform exploration and mission-based game. To wit: Sci-fi Grand Theft Auto. If this is where they were aiming, they fell pretty sort of the mark. The city is indeed large and quite pretty, but it is compartmentalized so that you can’t just freely fly from one section to another. You have to go on foot to jump from one playpen to the next. Taken together, the areas don’t add up to much. I’m looking at the map and at two hours into the game I’ve seen nearly all of it. It’s not very big. Worse, the areas are maze-like and constantly blocked by walls. You never get that feeling of flying over a huge city. You never see the horizon (not even a fake backdrop one) and so that whole game feels like it is taking place indoors.
The character designs make this seem like a Gamecube title aimed at young teens, but the game itself (missions involving robbing and killing) and the dialog (bleeped out swear words and a little robotic sexual innuendo) make the game seem more adult. The protagonist seems like a clueless imbecile. He has an earnest, cheerful, “golly-gee” delivery that doesn’t suit his actions or abilities at all.
It has very mild RPG-ish character development, where you become stronger by getting more and better parts for your ride. As the game goes on your vehicle gets more hit points, stronger engines, and more powerful weapons. This sounded pretty great, but they made an all-too-familiar mistake: You can only get better parts by completing missions, so if a mission is giving you trouble you can’t go earn better parts to help you though it. This is another sad example of a game which was self-balancing until the makers thwarted it by inserting arbitrary roadblocks to progress. Lots of games make this error, and it’s always depressing to see it happen.
The best thing about the game is that it made me remember all the fun I had playing Descent 2 back in 1998. So I dug that game out of mothballs, found some nice user-made patches to make it work on modern systems, and I’ve been having a grand time with this old favorite.
I can’t bring myself to go back to Scrapland. I found the game in the bargain bin for $5. When I bought the game I said that “you can’t go wrong for a fiver.” Looks like I was wrong.
UPDATE (10/13/2007): I never did come back to this game. Too bad. The Starforce copy protection on this thing seems even more absurd now. This game is available right now on Half.com for $0.75, which is more or less free, and people still don’t want it.
Deus Ex and The Treachery of Labels
Deus Ex Mankind Divided was a clumsy, tone-deaf allegory that thought it was clever, and it managed to annoy people of all political stripes.
What Does a Robot Want?
No, self-aware robots aren't going to turn on us, Skynet-style. Not unless we designed them to.
WAY back in 2005, I wrote about a D&D campaign I was running. The campaign is still there, in the bottom-most strata of the archives.
Black Desert Online
This Korean title would be the greatest MMO ever made if not for the horrendous monetization system. And the embarrassing translation. And the terrible progression. And the developer's general apathy towards its western audience.
A stream-of-gameplay review of Dead Island. This game is a cavalcade of bugs and bad design choices.