It’s the height of the cold war, and your task is to infiltrate the Kremlin and steal the plans for the top-secret Soviet Hammer-Gun. You’ve slipped into the country. You have the perfect cover story. You’ve created a military uniform that’s accurate to the smallest detail. It’s been tailored to look like a garment that has been scrupulously cared for despite continuous use. You forge all of the proper papers, to the point of fabricating your own ink and paper to make sure everything is just right. You’ve spent weeks memorizing the faces and names of all of the important people inside. You’ve watched the patterns of people leaving and entering so you know when and where you can enter while arousing the least curiosity. You’ve spent a fortune to track down and bribe various custodians, electricians, plumbers, chefs, and other workers so that now you have a completely accurate map of the interior. You know where your goal is and you know how to get there. You’ve put three years of your life into this operation.
As you approach the front door, one of the nearby guards greets you. You reply with “Howdy partner!” because you don’t speak a word of Russian and it didn’t occur to you to study it.
This is roughly how things go for spammers. So much time and effort is spent customizing their bots. They identify forms, parse captchas, spoof bot-detection systems, work through proxies to avoid IP filtering, and avoid bot-traps to make sure their messages get through. And then they post gibberish that sticks out like a Texarkana accent in Moscow.
The usual defense is that this stupidity is deliberate for one reason or another, but I harbor a secret suspicion that they are actually just incompetent. In any case, let’s see how they fared this week…
Continue reading 〉〉 “Messages from Spammers Part 7”
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