Virtual Villagers-Mating

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 2, 2006

Filed under: Game Reviews 24 comments

I’m thinking more about Virtual Villagers. It’s obvious that this is a cute, low-key game, with a lighthearted tone and very simple mechanics. Nevertheless, the obsessive Sim player inside of me can’t help tearing this thing apart and looking at it as an approximation of real-world behaviors. Which leads to the following observations…

One crazy aspect of the game is procreation, or (as the game puts it) breeding. You have to make them do it. If left alone, the villagers would never get busy, and would eventually die out. When you want them to reproduce, you grab one villager and drag them onto a villager of the opposite sex. They may reject the suggested union, in which case they run away from each other. This is no big deal, since it’s just based on a dice roll and you can keep trying until they click. Once they accept, they will head over to one particular hut and go inside for a few minutes. The hut is very small, but can be used by any number of couples at the same time. For some reason, they leave the door open. (Not that you can see in, it’s all black inside, but still.)

Virtual Villagers
To the left is the “research table”. On the right is the food bin. Just above that is the nookie hut, with the door that never closes.

If a pregancy ensues, the female will walk back out with a baby in her arms (if only it were that easy!) and will spend the next two years (about two hours of game time) caring for the child, unable to do any other work.

One odd thing about this is that neither gender will breed before age 18. Now, I understand why nobody would want to make a game that portrays underage teens mating, but this still bugs me when I’m playing. In a primitive society, you can’t afford to wait around that long. Life is short. You need to start having kids as soon as possible, and keep at it until menopause if you don’t want to go extinct.

As careful as the game is with underage procreation, it cares nothing at all about incest. It doesn’t keep track of who is related to whom, and any two people of opposite genders can attempt to have kids if they are over 18.

So what we have is a game that refuses to allow mating between people under 18, but has no problem with lots of immediate family members all mating in the same tiny hut at once. With the door open. Ew.

I think this is one of those aspects of the game you aren’t supposed to think about too much. I guess I just did.

Virtual Villagers – Babies!
Because I’m in a hurry, I usually pair up the villagers arbitrarilly and send them to mate en masse. Here several women emerge from the nookie hut with new babies.
I understand why, from a gameplay perspective, the game works like this. If you had to worry about family relations, then getting the population going from just six people would be quite a challenge, and if one or two of them died early it could doom the entire colony. Also, if the villagers simply had babies at a normal rate (and not at the players direction) then the women would spend a lot of time pregnant. The population would grow too fast and starve. The only way to cure that would be to introduce a realistic infant mortality rate, which would pretty much kill the fun of the game. Primitive societies had no contraception, began making babies at the onset of puberty, and yet the population was usually flat. Those numbers would make for a gruesome and bleak game if portrayed in any sort of realistic manner. Thankfully, the infant mortality rate is also unrealisticly low. (It’s nil, actually.)

Anyway, the fact that women leave the workforce for two years whenever they get pregnant has direct gameplay consequences. If you are very stupid and make your women farmers and your men do all the other stuff, then when someone gets pregnant you will suffer a drop in food production. Depending on your tech level, this can be really dangerous.

 


 

Ad Senseless

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 2, 2006

Filed under: Rants 9 comments

So I decided to try GoogleAds on this site. They are ugly, but small and easy to use.

Since last night the dang thing has been advertising zoot suits, stilts, and nutrition guides. What the heck? Is it that hard for them to figure out what my site is all about? Do the words Geek Culture, RolePlaying, anime, and Videogames not ring a bell? Those words are on every page, and every image is tagged accordingly. This site has a decent focus and there is just no reason the targeting should be so totally off.

I’ll give it another day or two, but if it’s still advertising random stuff nobody cares about then I’ll pull the ad. Since GA doesn’t offer any direct way to guide the content, the only thing it has to go on is the text on my site. If it can’t make sense of that, then the whole thing is useless.

I mean, z00t suits? Crimey.

LATER: They already have all of my text cached, so the content of the front page shouldn’t matter. But just in case it does, let’s see if this does anything:

Doom videogame Dreamfall Atari Rollercoaster Roleplaying Dice Cosplay Anime Geeks Oblivion. Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 edition Monster Manual Player’s Guide. Video game Gamecube Sony Playstation XBox 360 Nintendo DS and Mario. Gameplay Dual Shock Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, Return of the King. Manga comics. Spiderman and X-Man. Marvel comics. Videogame movie adaptations. Star Wars lightsabers and lightsaberbattles. The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Harry Potter. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, books, movie, and radio series. Myst, Quake, Riven, Doom3, Bethesda, Warcraft and MMORPG. RTS games and first-person shooters. Diablo. World of Warcraft, Geek Dice, Roleplaying Dice, Colored Dice, metal dice, plastic dice, 20-sided dice. Wizards, Gnomes, Fighters, Clerics. Dork Tower and Penny Arcade. Optimus Rhyme. Otaku’s favorite anime series. Haibane Renmei and sometimes Cowboy Bebop. Chibi characters and harem comedies.

Wow. That was like having Geek Tourette’s Syndrome.

If it can’t find my target demographic from that then the thing isn’t worth the 28,800 pixels I’m letting it use on my page.

 


 

Life Blossoms

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Nov 1, 2006

Filed under: Nerd Culture 6 comments

StrongBad Emails are fairly surreal and never try to say much. They are usually just humorous nonsense, but the latest actually dabbles in satire with a brilliant lampooning of self-esteem driven education.

It made me laugh.

StrongBad: Soy is Murder
I usually take it for granted that everyone that gets HomestarRunner already reads HomestarRunner. The site was so huge at one point, with everyone telling everyone else about it, that it seemed useless to link it. Everyone that liked HSR was already checking that site every day.

That was a few years ago. The site has slowed down this year. Maybe the brothers who write this thing are getting tired of it. Maybe they went back to their day jobs. It’s hard to tell.

So, I don’t see HSR links much these days, but I can’t tell if that’s because the site is in decline or because people just don’t bother posting links. I think the site is as good as it ever was, although now that the style of humor is familiar (it was really different and innovative to me when I discovered the site years ago) it doesn’t make me laugh the way it used to. Actually, the site is arguably better, since the animations are much more varied and more sophisticated these days.

And now that I’ve gone off on this tangent and then painted myself into a corner, let me just circle back to the original point: This week’s StrongBad email is funny.

 


 

DM of the Rings XXIV:
Loot of the Rings

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Nov 1, 2006

Filed under: DM of the Rings 50 comments

Loot of the Rings, Horn of Gondor, Staff of Gandalf, Sting, Bow of Legolas, Mithril, Narsil, The One Ring

Is the loot valuable or not? The price tag is meaningless. It’s all in how you describe it. Take a page from the home shopping channel, where no item is too mundane to be praised.

It’s not a “small figurine”. It’s a “beautiful, hand-crafted figurine of a water nymph”. Yes, this seems silly. Of course it’s hand-crafted. Everything is in a pre-industrial world. I’m telling you: It doesn’t matter if it’s not worth two coppers and weighs as much as a brick, your players will fight over that figurine if you make it sound exciting.

 


 

Concerned, RIP

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Nov 1, 2006

Filed under: Nerd Culture 3 comments

Concered, the Half-Life 2 webcomic, has ended. It ran twice weekly for a year and a half, and managed to keep a good pace and a steady supply of laughs. Christopher Livingston did an outstanding job. This was a fantastic comic and I’m sorry to see it end.

I think my favorite gag was this one, which had a very obscure movie quote in it. Given that most readers are probably in their 20’s, and that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off came out in 1986, I wonder how many people even got the joke.

That’s brave. I’d probably chicken out of a gag like that, but it worked and it made me laugh.

Now that the run is over I discovered that there are notes from the author at the bottom of each comic. You have to click a link to see them, and my brain just filtered it out along with the rest of the banner ad noise at the bottom of the page. Now that I’ve noticed I’m going through again and reading these comments. It’s pretty interesting, as I can see him learning his craft as he goes.

Great work.

 


 

A Parent’s Guide to Halloween

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 31, 2006

Filed under: Random 12 comments

  1. Most towns have trick-or-treating end before nighfall, but don’t let that stop you from decking your kid out in reflective tape and glowsticks. Sure, it will ruin their Batman costume and make them look like a Christmas tree with a cape, but if you don’t then the other parents will glare at you and make you feel so guilty.
  2. Explain to your kids: Never accept candy from strangers, unless it’s Halloween – when you should wander around the neighborhood begging for it.
  3. Make sure your child has a nice, large sack or pillowcase for trick-or-treat, and avoid using hard containers like buckets. This makes it less obvious when you begin “skimming” their haul when they aren’t looking.
  4. Don’t feel bad about dipping into your child’s candy when they aren’t around. You helped make the costume, after all. And even if you didn’t: all that candy isn’t good for them anyway.
  5. You will see all levels of costumes. You’ll see one kid dressed as a shogun in authentic period garb, and another kid dressed as a ghost using a plaid sheet with a urine stain. For some reason, you’re supposed to give candy and compliments to both of them. I don’t know why either.
  6. Just to mess with the trick or treaters who come to your door: Try dressing as Santa and giving out painted eggs.
  7. It doesn’t matter if your kid is dressed up as Frankenstein, a zombie, or Idi Amin, the moment you hand them a flashlight they are going to start waving it around in everyone’s eyes and making lightsaber noises. Little brats.
  8. To get revenge, make them wear their coats. Oh yeah. That will make their costume look real good.

Enjoy your Halloween. Save me a Zagnut.

 


 

The Site was Pulled Over

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 31, 2006

Filed under: Notices, Random 18 comments

Some of you may have noticed this site was down for most of the day today. I mentioned before that I was burning through the bandwidth this month. My provider is happy to let me do this, and just add the excess to my monthly bill as a sort of fine for not planning ahead. Apparently there is a point where they will stop doing this and – out of pity or mercy – shut the sucker down.

I hate the bandwidth exceeded message. It has a very ghetto, “GeoCities” vibe that just bugs me.

So the site is back up now. However, I need to take some steps or this thing is going to become an ongoing problem. I’m not looking to make money from this webcomic thing, but as things are, it’s going to start costing me some serious money and we can’t have that.

I’m enabling hotlink protection again. This will probably screw up the various site feeds people have set up for the express purpose of reading my comic. Sorry, but this is for the best. Hotlinking is a major drain at this point, and this is a quick way to slow the bleeding. This time the “no hotlink” image is very mild. Lots of nice people linked my comics on their blogs, and the last thing I want to do I blast them with the image of ocular affliction for their trouble.

If bandwidth is still an issue in November, I may scale back to publishing twice weekly on Tuesday & Thursday. This would suck, so I’m not going to do it unless I have to.

This webcomic thing is supposed to be fun. A lark. I don’t plan on turning it into anything more, and I don’t want it consuming the rest of the site. Someday it will end, and the blog will still be here. If the webcomic thing becomes too much of a pain then I will probably tire of it quickly, and it will no longer be fun. So let’s just see if we can avoid that.

Thanks again for reading.