DM of the Rings LXIV:
A Shocking Revelation

  By Shamus   Feb 15, 2007   61 comments

Team Stupid. Wormtongue is a spy. Confusing Plot.

Team Stupid. Wormtongue is a spy. Confusing Plot.

In the comments of the previous strip, I said, “In hindsight, the ideal thing would have been to cast Aragorn as a dumb, distracted stoner. He spends about half of the movie blinking very, very slowly. I can come up with a shot of him looking baked or mouth-open stoopid in just about any scene. I should make a “I am so high” montage out of all these shots.

The amount of screen time he spends in a vacant stare or a prolonged blink is sort of alarming. I’ve come to think of him as Stareagorn.

202020161 comments? This post wasn't even all that interesting.


  1. Browncoat says:

    “Two, actually.”

    That’ll keep me chuckling while I’m shoveling snow tonight.

  2. haashaastaak says:

    I get to be second?! Cool! It would be really funny if they changed sides. At some point, probably pretty soon, I think they would want to change back. That would be even more hilarious. But I guess the DM is not going to allow that to happen.

    Two minutes? Finding out that he might have VD took up a quarter of that time.

  3. Steve says:

    Interesting that the players have forgotten about Merry and Pippin, the object of their so-called quest.

    I think I know these guys.

    Steve.

  4. Colfox says:

    This is just getting funnier and funnier. Thank you.

  5. ChristianTheDane says:

    8th frame is an instant classic. Thank you. You have made my day :-)

  6. Lars says:

    Wow, I just looked through all these cartoons and boy, they are fantastic! Keep up the good work! And thanks for taking the time!

  7. hayball says:

    Finally! I’ve been refreshing all day.

    Aaand it’s another good one. Good work, man.

  8. Steelbutcher says:

    Evil shall always prevail over good, because good is dumb.

  9. Browncoat says:

    hayball, they get posted at noon. I’ve set up my calendar to alert me every MWF (TH, this week) that it’s time to go check. Usually, I get there a few seconds before it’s posted.

    Exactly what kind of a geek does that make me?

  10. Andrew Cory says:

    Browncoat:
    The kind without an RSS reader. And “noon”? It’s still 9:52AM! Your timezone may vary…

  11. Bugz says:

    This episode is also entitled Overly Requited Love? That doesn’t seem to follow the dialog, or did you just forget to update the episode title?

    Even so, great work, as always. Great shot of Staragorn, and the deadpan delivery of “What a total surprise. We never saw that one coming”, is perfect!

  12. pdwalker says:

    *lol*

    It just keeps on being funny.

    Excellent work!

  13. Skeeve the Impossible says:

    Well Aragorn does spend alot of time with a pipe in his mouth. So I suppose that makes sense. Although I always took Gandalf for the refer head. He is always so “amused by little things that aren’t really all that funny…….like hobbits, nobody enjoys hobbits in all of middle earth except Gandalf. He just thinks they are so darn funny and surprising. Kinda how I feel about midgets

  14. Tola says:

    Interesting that the players have forgotten about Merry and Pippin, the object of their so-called quest.

    So’s the DM-Gandalf never gave a hint that they were alive. As far as our dear players know, they were eaten by things in the woods. At least the book Gandalf explained that they were SAFE before they left for Edoras.

  15. Shamus says:

    Tola: Never put it past me to retcon things in. Did he tell them or not? I’ll go whichever way leads to a joke. :)

  16. It seems to me that fantasy worlds would be much safer if they just killed ugly people on sight.

  17. -Chipper says:

    “It seems to me that fantasy worlds would be much safer if they just killed ugly people on sight.”
    Now THERE’S a scary quest just waiting to happen!

    Shamus, if this is your output when you think you got nuthin, that’s just fine with me. “Two actually,” “what a total surprise”, and the whole last panel. combined w/ excellent screencaps. Laughing as silently as I can here…

    Cheers.

  18. Browncoat says:

    Andrew Cory –

    I don’t know what an RSS reader is. (What kind of a geek does *that* make me? I guess not a very good one.)

    As for the time zone differences, I was speaking of “noon” in CST – Central Shamus Time, the official time zone of DMotR.

  19. 3eff_Jeff says:

    “I don’t know what an RSS reader is. (What kind of a geek does *that* make me? I guess not a very good one.)”

    It’s a program that automatically checks links for updates (special RSS links, Twenty Sided Tale has one). They’re all the rage amongst the Web2.0 folks. It doesn’t hurt your geek cred though, as I don’t use one, and I’ve learned three flavors of assembly language (soon to learn another) amongst other things.

    So, now that you know about RSS, just make sure that you blow it off as “communist”–because that’s what it is. ;)

    Curmudgeonyness, in general, is a great way to protect your geek cred against new technological developments.

  20. Corwin says:

    Thanks, Shamus. I’ve been having a pretty craptacular day, but those last two panels gave me the giggles that just won’t quit.

  21. hendrake says:

    Hi, someone’s probably already said this, but you could always have the original Aragon leave the group (or go on vacation / get deployed / whatever) and have a stoner-player take him over, even for just a few sessions, if you’ve got somemore good shots of stoner-Aragon.

    “Two actually” – nice one!

  22. Thad says:

    Legolas does bring an interesting question for you all: how many times have players had their characters change sides? We play ‘good’ because… well… we’re “ethical”, but, really, how much fun would it be to screw the DM and have characters suddenly side with the forces of evil? ;)

  23. EmrealdTiara says:

    Hah! Hilarious. Although I probably shouldn’t be reading this while doing my homework, seeing as how frequent giggles give me away…Yeah I need to work on my subtle-complimenting skills. Whatever. Anyway it was really funny to read!

  24. Deoxy says:

    Stare-agorn: well, the character in the movie is a product of the actor. Having seen a little of the actor off-screen (a VERY little – I’ve avoided exposure to THAT ever since), it makes sense.

    But the heavy-eyelids thing worked REALLY well for the penultimate frame…

  25. Andi says:

    hendrake, it’s funny you should suggest having the original Aragorn leave because he was deployed. My gaming group lost two players because of folks getting sent off by the military. We started asking newcomers, “Are you now, or do you plan in the near future to be, in the military?” :-)

    Great strip, Shamus. “Two, actually…” how true! :-)

  26. Patrick says:

    Hey, at least Aragorn wasn’t a greedy, self-absorbed wanna-be pporn star like our ranger was….

    And I quote…..

    “…get rich or die tryin!!”

  27. Mordaedil says:

    Hey, we Norwegians can’t help it if we’re so sexy we look like stoners all the time. :P

  28. Bobniborg says:

    Keep it going man… this is great.

  29. Thane of Eurmal says:

    Actually, changing sides doesn’t really affect a DM not obsessed with ‘his’ story… I DM’ed a party that were decidedly evil, though still kinda following plot while being selfish, disinterested, and destructive in town.
    The ‘good guys’ in town and working with them started letting them know how they felt (“Man that guy’s a real jerk!”), and other bad guys started gravitating towards them, distracting them and letting the main bad guys get further towards their goals, making it harder for the characters.
    Eventually, another party (of NPCs) came in and started acting more how the town wanted, and the party’s help resources started drying up. Oh, and the other group started getting ‘their’ rewards…

    Oh, and on-topic: great site – I just discovered it the other day, and utterly wasted my productivity… Thanks a lot, Shamus, though the commentary below is just as amusing as the comic. So, I guess, thanks everyone, for a delightful site!

  30. Rhykker says:

    The stoner pick made me laugh aloud. Great choice. I must now rewatch the movies, looking for said staring scenes.

  31. Darren says:

    Yes, I have to say, if/when I watch the movies again, I’ll definitely have all these running though my head.

    I’m still waiting with baited breath to see what happens later now that Gollum’s been killed off. A previously unmentioned twin brother, perhaps?

  32. Darren says:

    Oh yeah, and Shamus should get bonus points if he can find subsequent frames of Aragorn scratching himself, regarding the previous episode.

  33. General Ghoul says:

    Can’t believe no one has mentioned the sweet pipe he’s smoking. Any stoner would be proud of it.

  34. Skeeve the Impossible says:

    “The amount of screen time he spends in a vacant stare or a prolonged blink is sort of alarming. I’ve come to think of him as Stareagorn.”

    One of the reasons the movie was unsatisfying. It seemed to me he played the part as a blank slate on which viewers were to project the Aragorn they knew from the books.

  35. Jillzmom says:

    I think the reason the hobbits were important to most of Middle Earth was their production of the best pipeweed, which was not tobacco.

  36. General Ghoul says:

    Yeah, those hobbits were always hungry too, maybe they had the munkies.

  37. Dave says:

    The munkies… sheez… munchies aren’t even munchies anymore? .. When are you gonna do a nerdology bit on the status of commenting first?

  38. Thomas says:

    Well done as always laddie.

  39. Telas says:

    “Wow. I leave for ten minutes and suddenly the plot starts moving again.”

    That should be a Clue.

    (Not necessarily in this case, but when the party goes through four times the encounters they normally would every time a particular player doesn’t make a session, perhaps that player ought to re-examine his “contribution” to the game.)

  40. Tom Scudder says:

    Crap! Now I’m up to the end of the archive. I hate that part of reading web comix.

    Laughing all night. This thing is a work of genius.

  41. Tola says:

    Shamus Says:

    February 15th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
    Tola: Never put it past me to retcon things in. Did he tell them or not? I’ll go whichever way leads to a joke.

    Gimli: WHat the hell have you been doing all this time?

    Pippin: Oh, we helped take down Orthanc.

    Think of the XP for persuading the Ents to move, and being involved in the takedown. The rest are going to be so pissed off.

    Or, if you want the DM to keep bring an ass, ave them do so well, then NOT give them anything.

    That’s the nice thing about this-you can go whichever way, because the outcome remains the same:funny.

    Looking forward to the nest one.

  42. Scott says:

    “Looks like we joined Team Stupid”

    I’ve said this a LOT…

    Great work man, keep them coming…

  43. steve says:

    [Tola] Ent? That’s trademark infringement, that is!

    I think you meant to say “Treant”. :o)

    Or Walking Stick.

    Steve.

  44. steve says:

    OK Shamus, the problem with the bogus 403 return page isn’t anything to do with corporate firewalls. I posted that last from my home PC and got the stupid anti-spam 403. Not only does the “fix it yourself” link go nowhere useful, the e-mail address for you on the page isn’t real either.

    Not only that, having told me that because I’m a suspicious git my post isn’t going to show up, it lets it through anyway.

    It looks like your antispam measures aren’t working. I was going to say “working right” but I realised that isn’t true. They aren’t working at all.

    Steve.

  45. Rex Venom says:

    I am hooked. Just found you and read up to here. Of course now want more.
    Funniest things I have seen in a long time.
    Rock on!

  46. Rex Venom says:

    Ohhhhh
    Now I get the dice thing.
    Hee.
    Guess the old INT bonus isn’t what it used to be…
    Again,
    Rock on!

  47. Rowaan says:

    Heh… Stareagron. Awesome, just awesome.

  48. Rikku says:

    absolutely hilarious! i hope the rest of the story is as funny as the first 64 chapters. seriously though you have a gift for this.

  49. Sewicked says:

    Our poor, poor first 3.0 D&D gm. Poor, poor guy. We created our characters and we came up with why we were together, on our own. We were part-time adventurers who co-owned an inn, a bard & two rogues. And we were _all_ Chaotic Neutral. Doing it ‘because it’s the right thing to do’ just wasn’t right impetus.

    Find the missing girl? Not really interested.

    Track down the rogues who mugged someone in our neighborhood? Yeah, we’ll do that. Our inn’s in a borderline neighborhood & if our customers get mugged we’ll lose business.

  50. Toil3T says:

    “I said, “- This link broke my internet. I got a lot of windows opening, and I had to reset my computer.
    Other than that, it’s a great strip.

  51. Cynder says:

    Loving that eighth frame…I really don’t want to admit this, but with the whole eyes-rolled-back-in-head and pipe-hanging-out-of-mouth expression, he looks like a complete and utter stoner.

    Stareagorn. I love that. XD

  52. […] Road” supposedly with Arragorn Viggo Mortensen in the lead role. I’m not really sure if Stareagorn could really pull this […]

  53. Aragorn says:

    hey im aragorn!!! thats not nice lol

  54. d'Antarel says:

    The only reason he has those blank stares all the time is because, unlike John-Rhys Davies or Sir Ian McKellen, however extremely similar to Orlando Bloom and Keanu Reeves, Viggo Mortensen is talentless and can’t act to save a caterpillar. But, I guess if he wasn’t there to show comparative alternatives, Sir Ian McKellen would never have gotten an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actor.

  55. Saoirse Young says:

    ” in hindsight, the ideal thing would have been to cast Aragorn as a dumb, distracted stoner. He spends about half of the movie blinking very, very slowly. I can come up with a shot of him looking baked or mouth-open stoopid in just about any scene. I should make a “I am so high” montage out of all these shots.“

    The amount of screen time he spends in a vacant stare or a prolonged blink is sort of alarming. I’ve come to think of him as Stareagorn.”

    PRICELESS. you should SO do that *is laughing so hard her family is questioning her sanity*

  56. Trick says:

    NOOO!!!!!!! You missed a PERFECT MP joke!

    Aragorn: Wow. I leave for ten minutes –
    Gimli: Three, sir!

    I mean, does it really matter, two minutes, versus three?

    Oh – and I’m afraid I have to beg to differ on the stoner thing.

  57. Tachi says:

    I don’t think Aragorn is an idiot so much as Vigo Mortenson is totally braindead… I’m talking double digit I.Q. kinda stupid here… If he was any dumber he’d be Jimmy Carter…

  58. Veklim says:

    What about Aragormless?

  59. Gabrielle says:

    oh, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do a montage of “I’m so high” shots! I would die laughing :) Thanks, and yet again an amazing comic.

  60. I know I’m rather late to the party, but:

    DOES the message change?

    “60 comments. Quick! Add another to see if this message changes!”

2 Trackbacks

  1. […] think Stareagorn would appreciate […]

  2. […] Road” supposedly with Arragorn Viggo Mortensen in the lead role. I’m not really sure if Stareagorn could really pull this […]

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