Shamus Plays LOTRO: Part 4

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Feb 10, 2010

Filed under: Column 29 comments

Last week we were left on the brink,
of an invasion of brigands, I think.
What happens next?
Go read the text!
You can do that by clicking this link.


From The Archives:

29 thoughts on “Shamus Plays LOTRO: Part 4

  1. 1d30 says:

    Does Ann Granger seriously just stand around 24/7/365.25 holding a mace and a shield outside the hunting lodge?

    Well, good thing it’s just one NPC in the game doing that.

    What’s that you say? Every NPC does that?

    The pay for that must be pretty decent then. You should try it.

    (There’s a frilly cape and an excellent sock in it for you!)

  2. neothoron says:

    Loved the Monty Python invocation for “Old Bloodtusk”.

    And here is my reaction to the Calder Cob quest:
    Shamus: “I’m posting this screenshot because I know you’re cynical and will call me a liar if I don’t.”
    Me: Hah, I wonder if it’s you or we who are cynical! I mean, I have read your CO “Let’s Play”, I don’t need you to prove that what you say is true, I already believe you!

    Ten seconds later, I knew Shamus was right. At least, that time.

  3. krellen says:

    The Archet line of quests is slightly less ridiculous if you’re a Man, because at least then you’re a forward-looking go-getter with a history of killing more than just bugs and an actual reason to want to help Amdir.

    Amdir’s still a tool, though.

    1. Joshua says:

      Well, honestly, most of the Rangers in the Prologue and Book 1 are complete morons. Chapter 1 has the Ranger that charges into one fight after another without stopping to rest. The other Rangers usually end up dead. “I still trust you, you are not the type of man to……aargh”
      Then there’s the Ranger who spills the beans on the whole Frodo Baggins/Underhill secret.

      They’re all pretty much morons in the Breelands.

  4. Eggbert says:

    Oh. My. God. Did you actually take me seriously last week when I asked for a limerick, or was that a coincidence?

    1. Shamus says:

      Not a coincidence. Thanks for the suggestion. :)

      1. Mari says:

        And the limericks were AWESOME! Now how about some anaphora?

  5. Sam says:

    That…was amazing. I’m glad I never read the quest text when I played this game. I might have gone insane.

    I think I’m enjoying this more than your Champions Online series. Great work!

  6. ngthagg says:

    I’ve played LoTRO in the past (with trial accounts) and I’ve done all of these quests at least once. Reading about them outside of the game has made me realize just how good I am at suspending disbelief.

    1. Heron says:

      I’m same way, very good at pretending all is well when I read somewhat absurd quests, or when NPCs act like nitwits.

      I did shake my head in disbelief at Calder Cob’s prison cake when I saw the quest for the first time, though.

  7. JoshR says:

    It’s nice to see you take on board feedback, on this and for the Mass effect playthrough.
    if you were wondering i post on the escapist website under the pseudonym (sp?) Flying Dagger. and you’re easily the best thing on the website.

  8. Caffiene says:

    Looking at the boar and the giant bear, I got to thinking I bet Fenton didnt actually kill anything at all…

    The campsite there looks suspiciously like he just found a boar and a bear that had fought each other to the death, and decided the aroma of rapidly aging raw meat would make this a perfect place to stay for the night. :D

    And the limericks were a great addition. Perfect timing to prevent the end-of-edition song routine from getting worn out.

  9. Aaron Pound says:

    You can’t find a rhyme for Mudbrick? What, the obvious choices of “prick” and “dick” didn’t immediately spring to mind?

    1. Meredith says:

      I’m sure they did and that Shamus was leaving it to our imagination to fill in. He keeps things rather G-rated most of the time. Aren’t there enough dick jokes on the interweb already?

  10. Rutskarn says:

    This bard angle is a stroke of genius, by the way.

  11. Kirk says:

    I am not finding the LOTRO stuff as amusing as the Champions stuff. But I think the limericks might do the trick for me because this installment was funnier than previous ones.

    Also, if LOTRO is a MMORPG, where the hell is everybody else? There were at least a few times where we got screen grabs of other players in Champions. It’s nice to see the chaos of other players every once in a while.

    1. Shinjin says:

      Lulzy is still on the intro quest line which is essentially single-player.

    2. Joshua says:

      There are several introduction instances. For the Hobbits, the first one is the encounter with the Nazgul, which is absolutely single-player.
      After completing that instance, you are shuttled off to a second instance- Lulzy is doing the one shared by humans and hobbits, there is a second one for elves and dwarves.

      Each of these second instances is multi-player, but is closed off once you complete the end quest of the instance. Although you could run into other people(and Shamus likely is), there are a lot fewer of them because the instance is for levels 1-6, and the game is 3 years old.

  12. Hawk says:

    I find this more amusing than Champions, and that was laugh-out-loud funny. Keep up the good work!

    I’d especially like to request haiku for a future installment.

  13. Atarlost says:

    At some time before this ends you should use both alliterative verse (in honor of the original lay of the children of Hurin) and rhyming couplets (in honor of the original lay of leithan)

  14. Ramsus says:

    Well that certainly was a barrel of laughs (or perhaps meat).

  15. Teldurn says:

    This episode is the best one yet. And, if Champions is any indicator, things should start only getting better from here on out! :D

    *cheer* \o/

  16. neothoron says:

    As I only rarely go on the Escapist’s main page for more than a minute, I did not see until today that the name for that series on theescapist is “Shamus plays”.

    It only struck me when I saw the logo for the series. I guess “Shamus plays LOTRO”, displayed as “plain text” is fine. But “Shamus plays” – “LOTRO” as a banner puts the banner’s decorations at odds with the words’ blandness.

    It is a very petty remark, but I honestly believe that you could find a better title for the series.

    PS: after having thought of it, I came up with “LOTRO – lampshaded” or “Being Shamus – in LOTRO” Yeah, I realize these are not very good.

  17. Blackbird71 says:

    Yes, that cake quest does sound absolutely ridiculous.

    What’s even more ridiculous is the fact that a slight writing change could have easily made it credible. Just throw in a line about the berries having truth serum-like properties, and once the prisoner eats them, he’ll be sure to spill his guts. That would have at least made some kind of sense!

  18. Joe Cool says:

    Great entry, as usual.

    Minor nitpick: “Beside him is someone who is either his very ugly wife or his very, very ugly farmhand.” I think that would be funnier if “wife” and “farmhand” were reversed (very ugly farmhand / very, very ugly wife). I mean, your wife would have to be really ugly to be mistaken for an ugly farmhand.

    Although maybe it’d just a reference I’m not catching?

  19. Brendan says:

    My question is: did they really have to name the campfire “Campfire”?

    I’m just saying…

  20. “Why are we feeding him cake?”

    Obviously, the warden isn’t actually going to feed him cake, he knows how to ferment bilberries and he wants to go to his death drunk.

    Yes, the cake is a lie.

  21. Kdansky says:

    Hilarious, I am enjoying this immensly. But the writing in LOTR is atrocious.

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