I hope I’m not Frodo

 By Shamus Aug 17, 2006 12 comments

Projects vary in attitude and tempo. Some are fierce battles against the usual spectres: Tight deadlines, insidious bugs, creative ennui, and capricious hardware. These projects form a series of challenges wherein I can, at the end, sprint across the finish line, weary arms upraised in triumph. Bruised but not beaten, tired but defiant in the face of adversity. When this happens I usually visualize myself stepping over the bodies of these metaphorical foes, dispatched with cold efficency borne of raw skill. The end of the project is the moment where I don my Neo sunglasses, turn to the camera and say something cool and catchphasey.

This is not the sort of project I’m on right now. No, my current project lends itself to a different sort of metaphor:


FRODO: The slopes of mount doom! Alas, I am so tired.

SAM: We're fresh out of coffeee too, sir.

FRODO: No matter sam. It doesn't matter. We're here at last. Mount doom. It's been a long road to get here. We got here without knowing the way, without a guide, on a shoestring budget.

SAM: No mistake that, Mister Frodo. I fancy most of the people who sent us don't even know what we've been through or what it took to get here. Imagine them putting just the two of us on a job this size!

FRODO: You are right Sam. But soon we can rest. Let us be rid of this burden, once and for all. Let us cast the ring into the fire and be done with it.

SAM: You said it, sir.

FRODO: Fine. Hand me the ring, Sam.

SAM: ... Sir?

FRODO: The ring, Sam. Give it here, that I may cast...

SAM: Yes, sir. It's just that... Bringing the ring was your job.

FRODO: You don't have the ring?

SAM: No sir.

FRODO: You fat imbicile. You mean we've been striving all these weeks and months, away from our families, pulling all-nighters, for nothing!?!

SAM: Surely not nothing, Mister Frodo...

FRODO: Don't you understand? We're salary. We don't get overtime! What have you done?!?

SAM: Begging your pardon sir. But my job was to get you here. Your job was the ring. I did my job.

FRODO: You stubby backstabber! Your job was to help me deliver the ring, not just follow me around being polite and useless!

SAM: Sorry Frodo. I filled my part of the spec, and a bit of yours I'll wager.

FRODO: Fat lot of good it did me, or anyone else, since we don't have the f#@!ing ring!

SAM: No sense getting upset now. You'll have to go back for it.

FRODO: Well I hope you're not planning on doing anything for the rest of the summer! You're coming with me!

SAM: Oh no. Here he comes.

FRODO: Who?

SAURON, THE DARK LORD OF THE RING: Do you two have any idea how late you are? You were supposed to deliver weeks ago.

FRODO & SAM: *gulp*

SAURON: Do you have any idea what the daily operating costs are for The War Of The Ring? It's huge. We are facing an incredible burn rate, here. My budget is hosed, and you two stroll in here almost a month late?

FRODO & SAM: This is very frightening!

SAURON: (sigh) So be it. Late is late. These things happen. Let's put this behind us and move on. Just hand over the ring...

FRODO & SAM: (pointing at each other) It's his fault!

Yes, I know this site has been rubbish lately. A quick scan through the past few weeks reveals lots of “random thoughts” and an alarming number of “rants”, but very little in the way of actual Anime, Video Games, and Geek Culture. The latter items I consider to be the core and purpose of this site, but my recent lifestyle changes have left little time for pursuing that sort of thing.

Maybe this doesn’t even bother most readers, but it’s really bugging me. I use this site as a way to discuss and share my various hobbies, which becomes tricky when I’m not practicing any of those said hobbies. The site is now a Nebraskan surfboard: Unable to put it to it’s proper use, I drag it out into the yard once in a while, teeter back and forth on it, making a very grand fool of myself.

Still, the new theme is nice, innit?

12There are a dozen comments.


  1. JTox says:

    Shamus, this is YOUR blog. If you want to write trivial trivialities – go for it. Personally, I’ve found some of your most recent “inanities” humorous and at times insightful. Write what you want; you’ve an “easy” audience here ;)

  2. Gothmog says:

    And yes, your theme is very nice indeed. :D

  3. HC says:

    Feel free to write on whatever you want – all of us have times when life gets busier than usual.

  4. MOM says:

    wonderful dialogue between you and Frodo( or Sam. I, too, hope you aren’t Frodo) I laughed. I’ve enjoyed your site lately- I’m no fan of anime, just a fan of Shamus. Ruth, by the way, is also feeling foolish as she struggles in Philly. Say a prayer for her.
    Much Love
    Mom

  5. Wonderduck says:

    For what it’s worth, I had a short, complaint-filled rant on my blog last night, lamenting how pitiable it seems The Pond is in comparison to the blogs on my ‘regular reading’ list.

    YOUR site is on my ‘regular reading’ list, and is one of the sites I had in mind when I lamented.

    So cheer up, buckaroo, there’s at least one duck out there that thinks you’ve got a great place here…

  6. Shamus says:

    Note to self: Stop navel-gazing.

    Thanks. To everyone.

  7. DVS says:

    You write well. Nerds admire that too.

    …today’s show was bought to you by the letter “R”, the number “18″, and the fancy word “omphaloskepsis”.

    (When I was a preschool teacher I used to teach the three-year-olds big words. Everyone found it very amusing to hear them use these in daily conversation while unaware how silly it was.)

  8. Shamus says:

    What is it with Akismet (my spam filter) and DVS? It is just CONVINCED that comments from DVS are spam, and I can’t seem to teach it otherwise.

    *grumble*

  9. David V.S. says:

    I don’t mind. It is petulant, not vituperative.

    Perhaps my using a longer name will help?

    I’m a little sesquipedalian, short and stout,
    this how I quiddle, this is how I shout.
    Being nascent while not culpable is the best.
    So cute yet enervated, time to rest.

  10. Shamus says:

    Its still arresting your comments. Crazy. Akismet really has it in for you.

    Sorry.

  11. Being on Blogspot would do that to a man. A few places I know simply block anything remotely connected to Blogspot.

  12. Lachie says:

    The only thing people will think if you shut down the blog ENTIRELY is a little “aww, that’s a shame” feeling that’ll last for half an hour before they move on to another site. If anything, they owe YOU!

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