Anniversary #14

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jan 25, 2011

Filed under: Landmarks 102 comments

I had this [semi-] joke I use to tell:

I always said it would be a cold day in hell before I got married, which is why we’re getting married on January 25 in Slippery Rock.

The little guy is my new brother-in-law.  He was born the year Heather and I met.
The little guy is my new brother-in-law. He was born the year Heather and I met.
This wasn’t strictly true. I never said that it would be a cold day in hell before I got married. Although, I never really thought I would get married. My dad failed at marriage, and so for some reason I thought I was destined to fail as well. That doesn’t actually follow, but my head was full of bad ideas like that, and I think I spent most of my 20’s un-learning all the wrong things I’d picked up in adolescence. For some reason, it took me a long time to realize how much control I had over my own destiny.

Lots of people are down on marriage. My generation certainly wasn’t crazy about it, and the next generation is even less inclined to take the plunge. I didn’t think it made sense. I mean, half of them fail, right? And some portion of the other half are probably unhappy, right? Those odds suck, so why bother? It’s just a piece of paper. It’s so expensive. It will fail anyway. But I did it despite this cynicism, and it was one of the best decisions of my life.

You don’t often hear about people who are in happy, stable marriages. I can understand why. “They lived happily ever after” is a terrible beginning for a story. And maybe you think, as I used to, that it can’t work for you or is an outmoded idea. My advice: Marry, or don’t marry, but you shouldn’t let movie dramas inform your image of marriage any more than you should let action flicks inform your perception of driving and firearm safety.

I can’t promise you that marriage will be a happy time, or that it will work for you. And I can guarantee that it won’t make you happy all the time. But if you’re young and suspicious of the institution, I can say that it does work for some people, and the payoff is a rich life and a steady supply of self-sustaining joy.

Happy Anniversary, Heather. I won’t post the gushy stuff here on the blog, because you’d hate that. But, you know, I do.

 


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102 thoughts on “Anniversary #14

  1. Deoxy says:

    Congratulations!

    As to the marriage stats, it’s that half of marriages fail, not half of people who get married get divorced. What’s the difference? Well, there was this girl I dated in high school… her mother was on her eighth husband. So, she had 7 divorces to her name (so far). For easy math, let’s assume that the eighth marriage failed, too, and that means there are eight other couples out there who got married and never divorced, just to make up for her.

    That said, (insert icky discussion of the serious legal bias against males in family courts, which is, thankfully, getting a bit better these days. It was really in bad taste to put all that on a wedding anniversary post, and I apologize.)

    THAT said, I’m married, and I’m glad of it (most of the time), even with the difficult health problems my wife has had. When it works out (which requires serious dedication from both of you to get through the hard times, which WILL come), it is a truly wonderful thing.

    1. MichaelG says:

      If a marriage doesn’t end in divorce, it ends in death of one of the partners. Given how long people live now, that’s pretty impressive. Half of marriages last decades!

      1. Volatar says:

        I don’t think they count that in those statistics.

      2. Will says:

        That’s because, statistically, if a marriage doesn’t end in divorce after about a year and a half (i think it was), it won’t end in divorce. If you can put up with being married to someone for over a year, you’re probably compatible enough to put up with them for the rest of your life.

        Basically, marriages either fail early, or they don’t fail. People who have been happily married for 20 years tend not to suddenly decide to get divorced (it does happen, but it’s the exception not the rule.)

        1. Xodion says:

          I’d like to know what statistics these were, because in my experience this is blatantly untrue. Since my parents marriage in 1985, there have been 5 marriages in my family (including theirs), 3 of which ended in divorce long after a year and a half. My parents divorced after 13 years, and talking to other people with similar experiences, they can hold together for years longer than they should if kids are involved.

          On a more positive note, the other 2 marriages were each of my parents getting re-married, and both seem to be very happy after a few years.

          Anyway, back on topic – congratulations!

          1. Zak McKracken says:

            I wouldn’t get a damn about that type of statistics because in the end it’s really up to you and not statistics whether a marriage lasts or not. If you get married saying “oh well, we’ve a 50% chance of making it, let’s see what happens”, you’ve given up in my book. Failed marriages are not like bad wheather, you can do something about it.
            In the end it’s not about statistics, it’s about whether you know what you’re doing and whether you actually want it to work.

            That said, there are marriages where I can absolutely understand that they didn’t work and it wasn’t foreseeable. It’s a bit like traffic accidents. If you drive careful you’re a lot safer, but accidents will still happen.

            That said: One happily married guy here, and it’s totally worth every bit of effort!

      3. Silemess says:

        Not to be morbid, but isn’t that a false assumption? Half of marriages end in divorce, so the other half has to end in death. But that doesn’t mean that they live to a ripe old age.

  2. Josh R says:

    such a cute picture of you shamus haha, wouldn’t imagine you as someone who enjoys being the centre of attention.

    1. Robyrt says:

      That is an incredibly cute picture. Congratulations :)

      1. Jarenth says:

        I love how just-getting-married Shamus sports the exact same durpy smile as comment-picture Shamus. You might be getting older, but the pictures show you haven’t changed a bit.

        Happy anniversary!

        1. Tizzy says:

          Indeed. You didn’t need to read the text to know who was Shamus on the picture! But, say, Shamus, for someone who did not want to get married when he was young (Young?), you’re not exactly OLD on that wedding picture, are you? I guess it didn’t take you that long to get rid of that idea.

  3. Doug Brown says:

    Congratulations, Shamus. You’re lucky to have each other.

  4. djTacoman says:

    Happy Anniversary! My 7-month-iversary is tomorrow, and I certainly agree that while it can be challenging at times, it is way more rewarding than anything else.

  5. Ian says:

    Happy Anniversary, Heather and Shamus!

    1. krellen says:

      What he said.

      1. Fenix says:

        What He said.

  6. Brock says:

    Congratulations to you and Heather! :)

  7. RTBones says:

    Happy Anniversary, Shamus and Mrs. Shamus! That is fantastic!

  8. Galad says:

    The following short story is only tangentially related but I feel is worth sharing anyway.

    I used to study abroad, and one of the staff members in the college was a guy called Steve – not sure if he was a teacher as well but he handled a lot of a certain part of the paper work. A very tall, slim, long-bearded and energetic fellow, sometimes transferring some of his energy into others. He was into climbing, hiking etc sport activities that involve going out in the world, and once during such a (voluntary) group activity with him, his wife said

    “For me, home is where Steve is”

    I’d say if any of the married couple can say that for their partner, then it’s a successful marriage. I can’t imagine being able to say that and at the same time having a partner that’s unhappy with you.

    Oh, and I hope you have that picture in a frame somewhere, Shamus =P

    P.S. I mean this as a compliment and I hope you take it as such – you look like a 20 year old nerd in the picture :D (or a 20 year old geek, if you prefer..I have a hunch that an argument about the difference between those two would be terribly boring)

    1. MichaelG says:

      Nerds know how to do things. Geeks are just posers in ironic t-shirts. Shamus is clearly a nerd.

      1. Will says:

        The way i always understood it was that ‘Geek’ was a catch-all term for people who were intelligent and obsessed with certain subjects, typically sciences and mathematics, while a Nerd is a specific term for a Computer Geek.

    2. Mari says:

      There’s a certain logic there. My husband and I are sneaking up on 14 years in May. Eleven of those years have been spent in a town that I really kind of despise, with him doing a job that I loathe. But he’s my best friend and the job I loathe and the town I hate make him happy, so I’ve learned to cope. Our wedding bands are inscribed with “Where you go, I will follow.” I meant it the day we had that done and I mean it now. So I can understand “Home is where Steve is.”

  9. Joe Cool says:

    Awwww… happy anniversary, Shamus and Heather! Here’s to another 14.

    Coincidentally, my wife and I just celebrated #7 earlier this month. You’re twice as married as we are!

    And yes, marriage can bring about more joy than you can possibly know.

    (Shamus, you look like you’re about 16 in that photo. I thought it was a high school prom photo until I realized your wife was wearing a wedding dress.)

    1. Shamus says:

      I was 25 at the time. I don’t mind looking under my age, but I’d gladly trade it for FEELING under my age. :)

      1. SteveDJ says:

        While I cannot offer suggestions on such a trade, I can offer this notion: If you want to look less ‘under age’, try growing a beard. It worked for me. Even in my 30s, I felt I looked like a young teenager – growing the beard (and mustache) let me feel like I finally looked like an adult.

        It doesn’t have to be long or stringy or any of that stuff – I keep mine very short (setting 3 on the trimmer).

        Edit: P.S. Congrats, too! I’m on 15.

        1. Shamus says:

          Alas, I am unable to grow a beard.

          1. Adam says:

            I feel your pain. Granted, I just turne d20.

            1. Tizzy says:

              Is the “turne d20” intentional or just a wonderfully appropriate typo?

              1. Spluckor says:

                I’m really hoping it was a wonderfully appropriate typo. lol

          2. Gilf says:

            Not to be mean, but that might explain the ‘baby face’ effect going on. Still, you two look great together (this coming from a 17-year-old, so what do I know?). Happy Anniversary, however late this comment is.

      2. Zukhramm says:

        I thought writing about video games on the internet gave that feeling.

    2. Valaqil says:

      I came here to post something similar. My wife and I celebrated #1 this month. Happy Anniversaries all around! :D

    3. CTrees says:

      I was thinking that, too – Shamus, you look like you’re in junior high, there.

      Otherwise, congratulations!

  10. Mike Riddle says:

    Congrats..

  11. Meredith says:

    Happy Anniversary!

  12. jph330 says:

    Grats all! Server first

    I’ve been having a lot of cynicism of marriage building up over the years, so this was something I pretty much needed to see. Feels weird seeing a happy couple that’s still together nowadays.

  13. MOM says:

    I am astounded to hear that you thought you would fail at marriage because your father (and I, of course) did. Sure glad you didn’t let that stop you.

    1. Shamus says:

      For some reason I didn’t think I’d be able to do anything he couldn’t do. I don’t know why, or why I carried the notion for so long.

      1. Hal says:

        Ha ha, your mom reads your blog.

        (Just a joke. Nice to meet you, Mother Shamus.)

      2. Will says:

        The vast majority of your habits are patterned off your parents. If you identified strongly with your father it’s entirely possible that you just grew up assuming you would be like him.

        1. Kaeltik says:

          I hope this is true. The more like my father I could be, the better a husband, father, and man I would end up. 8.5 years into marriage and still working on it.

          PS Congrats Shamus & Heather.

        2. Mari says:

          That fact makes me want to cry. I know it’s true but it’s one I fight every day of my life, which is how I know it’s true. I know most women say they’re afraid of turning into their mothers but for me it’s a phobia that would border on crippling if it weren’t for the fact that what I fear and work against is essentially being an emotional cripple.

  14. Strangeite says:

    Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!

    I am quickly approaching my 9 year wedding anniversary and can say without hesitation that marrying my wife was the best choice I have ever made.

    Not only does she put up with my inherently geeky nature and the various accoutrements that spill over our home due to such a personality, but she makes me smile daily and makes me want to be a better man for her.

    Marriage is not for everyone, but I am eternally grateful that I found her.

  15. toasty says:

    Yeah, my family is the exception. On my mom’s side, out of 9 kids, none have divorced once, all have had happy marriages (my mom is about 10 years older than you and is one of the elder children in her family). My dad’s side is smaller, and his sister is divorced, but… that’s the only divorce i know of in my family. Its… interesting, cuz yeah, so many other people are divorced and/or unhappy about their marriage. Not in my family. :)

  16. Chris says:

    Congratulations! Coincidentally, my second wedding anniversary is tomorrow and these last two years have been great for us.

  17. Dev Null says:

    Congrats!

    I was of two minds about marriage; I don’t need some rubber stamp from the state to prove that I love her, and neither does she. But it was a good excuse for a party, and we did like the idea of celebrating our love with our friends and family, so off we went. And then my grandmother, just before we got married, told me a little story. You see she and my grandfather were just about two of the most “in love” people I think I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting. (Not that you could necessarily tell from my grandfather if you didn’t know him well, but of course I did.) They were a true partnership. So this grandmother is the one who pulls me aside when I tell her that I’ve gotten engaged and says, more-or-less: “I’d have left him a hundred times by now if we weren’t married. Every time it would have been a stupid thing to do. Every time I would have regretted it. But I would have left.”

    I’m not saying that there aren’t quite a few couples for whom marriage would be a mistake. And I’m personally of the opinion that marriage-for-marriage’s-sake is always a bad idea. But there _is_ something to be said for the inertia of making it official, once you’ve worked out you really do love someone, just as they are now. It can carry you through the brief flashes where you might otherwise do something you’d regret, and back through to the vast majority of times when you know how good you’ve got it, and are willing to fight to keep it.

    1. Deoxy says:

      I really like this. Thank you for sharing that nugget of wisdom.

    2. Jarenth says:

      Trawling through the godforsaken mess that is the PvP Online archives was worth it to find this comic that goes perfectly with your comment.

  18. froogger says:

    Aww, that’s so sweet.
    I used to share your sentiments, but when I realized my partner was the single most important person in my life, I went for it anyway.
    Never really felt adult before the moment at my wedding when everyone stood up to toast us. 6 years later we’re tighter than ever. Weird how life works out.

  19. Samrobb says:

    Congratulations and happy anniversary to you both!

  20. Jake says:

    Someday I hope to get married. So far I have yet to get a second date.

  21. Congratulations Shamus! Happy Anniversary!

    I look forward to being married someday myself, I’m a very relationship-minded person, I’ve always sought that out over dating.

    I like hearing about the ones that work, like yours. I admire you for the effort you put into it and your dedication, and I hope you remain together and happy for many years to come!

  22. eri says:

    Aww, how cute. :3 Here’s to another 14 for you two, and more.

    I can’t say I’m a fan of having kids (and my girlfriend feels the same) but marriage is another story… the tax benefits alone probably make it worthwhile, and it likely makes a few things much more convenient to do. It’s hard for me to really think of myself as married, being the lifelong loser that I am, but who knows!!1

  23. Rayen says:

    want to get married live with my fiance. Just not economically feasible at the moment. I live 800 miles from anyone related to me, I am currently unemployed, My fiance has a job that is just keeping all the bills paid and we expect to move sometime this year. We just say we’re married because who’s gonna argue?

    Anyway glad you have a happy marriage and happy anniversary.

  24. Do you know how difficult it is finding a YouTubes wedding anniversary congrats video?
    No video for you!
    Instead, just a hearty congratulations on your marriage achieving the XP to reach another level!
    Be sure to visit your trainer to learn your new feats.

    …OOoooo!
    Here you go!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw9AeZ6YKXs

  25. onosson says:

    Very nice!

    I never in my life considered *not* being married when I grew up. I just always took it as a given, though I’m not sure why (many people of my generation are not married, and my own parents split up when I was 8). I just always assumed it would happen … and eventually it did. I told my wife the day I met her that I felt she was someone I could be married to.

    Also, I would add that even if half of marriages end up unhappy – that’s no reason to assume those people would be any happier if they had never gotten married at all. I find happiness is what you make of a situation, not the reverse (for the most part)

  26. Adam says:

    Congrats on your 15th anniversary, Shamus! Now you’re 3/4 as married as my parents!

  27. Audacity says:

    Congratulations Mr and Mrs Young! May you have many more anniversaries, God bless.

  28. Heron says:

    Congratulations! I hope the next 14 is at least as good as the first :)

    We’re coming up on our 4-year anniversary (at which point we will have 1.5 kids), which makes me feel old, but you got married at my age, which makes me feel young… so now I don’t know how to feel.

    Does anyone else get momentarily confused when Shamus mentions his age? My mental picture of him consistently puts him somewhere between 27 and 33, even though I know that’s wrong…

    1. mac says:

      Yep. I’m 28 and I generally picture Shamus as being 2-3 years older, no more than that The wiseness* and sensibleness make him seem like he must have a couple more years than me, but he still (talks/thinks/has a sense of fun) like a young person, so some part of my head puts him in the 30-31 range.

      Happy Anniversary to both of you, Mr and Mrs d20. :p

      *Yes, I made a new word when ‘wisdom’ would have done. What of it?

  29. Theodolus says:

    Happy Anniversary Shamus and Heather! I’m just about to the 5.5 year mark myself, and it has definitely been worth it, even with all the ups and downs. Thank you for showing that it’s not all doom and gloom and that there is true happiness to be found.

  30. Mathias says:

    Congratulations.

    What I find interesting is that my parents just celebrated their…15th anniversary, I believe, and they’re older than the two of you. I suppose there’s just a different marriage tradition in Ye Olde Europe, or my parents are a little old.

  31. Bubble181 says:

    Congratulations :-) Onwards to another 14²!

    1. PhotoRob says:

      Is that 14 squared factorial? That’s… a very, very big number. :)

      1. Galad says:

        who knows, the elixir of life might be discovered in our lives..

        *teleports to the bathroom*

      2. Jarenth says:

        You thought Shamus was joking about being old?

  32. Specktre says:

    Awww, congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Young! I love the picture and the post. :)

  33. antsheaven says:

    Congratulations to the two of you!
    I love the picture, you guys look great there. :D

  34. BeardedDork says:

    My wife and I will also be celebrating 14 years in July.

  35. Hamilcar says:

    Not gonna get into any details. But you’re rambling post was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks and congratulations.

  36. Joe says:

    Happy Anniversary Shamus and Heather.

    My own folks didn’t manage to make it work. Even though that was a (relatively, to my heading-off-to-college-next-year life) long time ago, still brings a warm feeling to my heart to know that good does come of the decision.

  37. RichVR says:

    Happy Anniversary to you and your lovely wife. BTW, you look about 12 years old in that picture. =0

  38. Sam Goodspeed says:

    Super congratulations Shamus! I love your blog, it’s always the first thing I check when I get home from school. It’s so sweet you’ve been married so long. Happy anniversary!

  39. Nostromo says:

    Happy anniversary!

    Funny coincidence: I’m turning 40 this year and I’ve been NotMarried with the UnWife for 14 years now (Europeans: Not Doing Marriage!).

  40. LintMan says:

    Interestingly, for all the “bad news” reporting about divorce, the US per capita divorce rate has been dropping steadily for years. The most recent numbers I can find are from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm, at 3.4%, which is about the same level as 1970! http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/mvsr/supp/mv43_09s.pdf
    FYI – This page http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html shows the decling trend 1991-2002.

    Marriage rates have also been declining during this time, which usually seems to be reported as a distressing trend, but when you couple it with the divorce rate information I get a different conclusion: Many of the marriages that aren’t happening now are the ones that were most likely to fail anyway, so the couples actually taking the steps to get married are the ones more likely to stick with it.

    With less social pressure against pre-marital sex, living together, etc, I think that those taking the marriage plunge are more likely to actually be seeking long-term commitment. And that seems like a good thing to me.

    1. Tizzy says:

      Very cool data. Funny that it would be on the CDC, rather than, say, the US census website… Your conclusions seem sound, and indeed, you have to figure you have to give populations time to figure out for themselves what works for them: when the no-fault divorce is introduced, it takes a couple of generations for attitudes to adapt to the new rules of the game.

  41. Kevin says:

    Ha! I used that same joke! Got married Jan. 15th 1994 in Akron. Coldest day of the year. Our plane was de-iced 3 times before we could take off for our honeymoon. It was my first time flying, too!

    Good times…

    Congrats on 14 years!

  42. Allen says:

    Having passed my 10th anniversary (and watched various other marriages/relationships crash and burn), I figure the “secret” to a successful marriage is pretty simple:
    1. Be alone first, so you know who you are without someone else around. (This prevents the “serial failure” problem, where some folks just can’t imagine themselves without an SO, so they grab the first available person.)
    2. Marry your friend. Preferably your best friend. (To this day, I can’t understand the folks who are married, but don’t share any hobbies or interests. You’re committing to spend the rest of your life together – try and have *something* in common!)
    3. Make sure you each have some “alone” time. (Because hanging out with your best friend is awesome, but 24/7/365 wears on anyone – and besides, if you’re always there, how can they tell you about their cool day?)
    4. You don’t have to get married. I have an aunt and uncle who were “steady” (that’s what we used to call “common law”, folks) for over a decade before they decided to get hitched. I spent a summer working for a couple who had been together 25 years, and never felt the need to do the paperwork. Weddings are astoundingly and stupidly stressful and expensive events (and people who enjoy that process scare me). It’s perfectly fine to find your soulmate, and just… be together.

    Anyhow, congrats on another successful year, Mr. and Mrs. Young!

    1. Galad says:

      Maybe you’ve phrased it a bit off, but the “Marry your friend” part would maybe sound creepy to a lot of people. I mean A lot of friendships between people of different genders are a “friends only” zone, after all..

    2. Alex says:

      I really hate to make a depressing comment on a blog post about a happy anniversary, but I really feel like there is more to add to #1-4 above.

      5. MAKE SURE YOU REALLY KNOW WHO YOU’RE MARRYING. This is not the same as having spent a lot of time with them – a truly codependent personality is capable of putting up a convincing, enticing front for years if he/she really wants to ensnare a given person into his/her life. I don’t know how to tell you HOW to really know the person with whom you’re considering tying the knot, as in my case, I have turned out to be a rotten judge of character. (As, sadly, nerds often are.) I CAN tell you that expecting to be let in on someone’s entire financial, medical and legal history by the time you’re engaged is not only reasonable, but a bare minimum.

      6. Even if you do know the person really, really well when you do get married, he/she WILL change over the next years and decades, possibly turning into a person seemingly diametrically opposite and incompatible with who they were on the day you tied the knot. Humans are dynamic beings, we change and adapt with our experiences and changing circumstances, and even sharing a life, a home and a checking account is no guarantee that you won’t grow in opposite directions. “Growing apart” does happen. Often. It can be overcome if both partners work at it, but sometimes one or both partners isn’t interested in working at it, and one half of a married couple can’t fix a marriage by him/herself.

      Enough doom and gloom. Some marriages do work out. For some people, doing the things necessary to make things work comes naturally, for others it takes constant effort but is doable and worth it, and for many others a stable marriage is simply out of reach. From the glimpses on this blog it’s plain to see that Mr. and Mrs. Young have something wonderful, and I’d like to add my congratulations on it.

      1. Haviland says:

        Ummm…

        Yes, somewhat doom and gloom there.

        Marriage, or life partnership, or civil partnership, isn’t easy.

        It’s not like a film, it’s real life. You have good days, bad days, and days when you have to put your partners needs ahead of your own, even if that means saying “Why yes, dear, that is a large zit between your cheeks, can I help you with it?”

        We’ve been married nearly 20 years, fortunately only one zit incident.

  43. Zaxares says:

    Congratulations to you both, Shamus and Heather. :) May the two of you have many more happy and memorable years together.

    On the topic of marriage, I think it’s safe to say that some people are suited for marriage. Others aren’t. And if you’re one of those others, then don’t try to get married no matter how much pressure is being put on you from friends or family. Doing ANYTHING because of peer pressure is a bad idea, let alone something as important as marriage.

  44. MelTorefas says:

    Wonderful post Shamus! I love to see people talking about how *good* marriage can be. Happy anniversary!

    (PS: Loved the bit about marriage and dramas vs. action flicks and driving/firearm safety. Gonna quote it to everyone I know.)

  45. Grey Ghost says:

    Hear, hear!

    Well said on not letting movies shape our views on marriages, particularly successful ones. Unfortunately for those who DO learn from the movies (or try to), the dramas which inhabit every month of married life do not translate well to the screen, or even the page. The only real way to experience them is to live them (which is why I’m taking the plunge myself in June).

    Congratulations, and many happy returns!

  46. Gary says:

    super congrats Shamus! My wife and I are going for 7 this year. I wish you many more happy years together!

    I highly recommend marriage to all I know. It is an amazing thing. Those who talk ill of the concept truly have not understood it.

  47. Chad Kreutzer says:

    Congrats, Shamus, and many more.

  48. BeamSplashX says:

    Hmm, I never got the sense that a lot of people in my generation (I’m 22 and most of my friends are 20 and older) had an issue with marriage. What gave you this impression?

    I’m excited at the prospect of marrying my girlfriend.

  49. Fede says:

    Congratulations!!!

  50. deiseach says:

    Happy Anniversary Heather and Shamus.

    I find it interesting that you didn’t think you’d ever get married but did indeed tie the know at what, by European standards, is a young age. I always wanted to get married – and yes, I am a man. I realise that you don’t have to be married to love someone but I never fail to get a kick out of introducing her as ‘my wife’ or hearing her refer to me as ‘my husband’. For me, there’s a simple pleasure from being married over and above the joy of being with the right partner.

  51. Ravens Cry says:

    Indeed, congratulations you two!

  52. David Armstrong says:

    It is amazing how incredibly happy the both of you look. Hope the smile is still on your faces!

    Congratulations!

  53. Gil says:

    Congratulations, Shamus!

  54. Philip says:

    Congradulations, I hope you and Heather have many more.

  55. Ziggywolf5 says:

    Congratulations to you both. I hope you guys have another 14 years.

  56. Sem says:

    A bit late but congratulations anyway !

  57. Michael says:

    Congratulations! It’s awesome that your marriage is going so well! Being in the ‘young crowd’ (though I’ve hit the point in which I realize I can’t say that for long), I see a lot of people uncaring about marriage.

    I’ve been really torn about the issue. But I’ve settled on the fact that I do want to marry, *especially* because I am a homosexual. Being deprived of something just makes you want it more ;). But I’m no fool, I won’t do it until *I* am ready. Even if it is after the state is ready.

  58. Meatloaf says:

    Congratulamarriage, Heather and Shamus. To another thousand years!

    *Raises glass*

  59. Squash says:

    Congratulations, Shamus and Heather. You both look really happy in that photo and its great to hear that you still are.

    It is also great that you had your children soon after getting married. We also had our first daughter about 11 months after we got married and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Some people say that a married couple should spend a few years enjoying themselves before having children, but a friend of mine who had done that told me that that approach led to him struggling with selfish attitudes for many years afterwards.

    I am curious to know how many siblings heather has in between her and her little brother though!

    Squash

  60. Sydney says:

    So I’m 20-year-old marriage-doubter. I mostly show up in the comments to debate invisibly-minor details of video games with other folks who are here to do the same thing.

    This time, all I have to say is you’ve given me something to think about.

  61. Sydney says:

    There is a picture of you in the caption for the picture of you. Amusingly, it makes it look like you’re identifying yourself as your brother-in-law.

  62. Cuthalion says:

    Catching up on my blog reading, so I’m incredibly late, but Congratulations!

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