T w e n t y S i d e d
So I’m playing Madden 2006, and I decide to check out “Football 101”. I was hoping to learn some football and get a feel for the game. I selected the option that has John Madden teaching you the basic Football formations and plays. The computer runs the play, shows it to you, then lets you run it. It’s a very low-key way to learn how to play the game.
I try a simple play: HB slam. The halfback is supposed to take the ball from the QB and run it up the middle.
I start it, and the game runs the play on its own to demonstrate. Except: it didn’t run the way it was supposed to. The offensive line melted and halfback got pancaked the instant he touched the ball. I sat there, dumbfounded, as the computer completely screwed itself.
Then John Madden spoke up, “There. See how it’s done? Now you try it.”
Nice one, thanks John.
Control
A wild game filled with wild ideas that features fun puzzles and mind-blowing environments. It has a great atmosphere, and one REALLY annoying flaw with its gameplay.
Are Lootboxes Gambling?
Obviously they are. Right? Actually, is this another one of those sneaky hard-to-define things?
Final Fantasy X
A game about the ghost of an underwater football player who travels through time to save the world from a tick that controls kaiju satan. Really.
This is Why We Can’t Have Short Criticism
Here's how this site grew from short essays to novel-length quasi-analytical retrospectives.
The Opportunity Crunch
No, brutal, soul-sucking, marriage-destroying crunch mode in game development isn't a privilege or an opportunity. It's idiocy.
i thought Eric was way too good at that damn game. it turns out the game is actually dumber than eric himself