T w e n t y S i d e d

Twenty-four minutes. That’s how long Chris and I fought the boss at the end of last week’s video. It doesn’t help that the plot seems to have lost its way, leaving us to blunder from one pointlessPointless for our heroes. The scenes serve the writer’s goals, but the protagonists are doing a lot of things that don’t clearly advance their goals. catastrophe to the next.

It feels like we should just leave and call in an airstrike, because there doesn’t seem to be anything here that doesn’t need to be killed or destroyed. But instead we’re blundering through this circus on foot, getting dragged into protracted fights with boring repetitive boss monsters with no relevance to the plot.I GUESS we’re supposed to be invested in Chris’ idiotic no-stakes search for Jill. Which… ugh. I’ll interrogate that once we get to the “reveal”.

Anyway, here’s the madness from last week:

I don’t know what to make of that boss fight.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Resident Evil 5 #4: Who Are We After Again?”

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

In this episode, the main characters finally corner the guy we’ve been chasing for most of the game. And instead of arresting him, or hitting him, or shooting him, or hurting his feelings, or doing anything else that might somehow advance his goals, Chris Redfield just glares at the guy while asking stupid questions. The bad guy is able to inject himself with stuff and turn into a huge monster and our alleged hero doesn’t do anything about it.

Have I mentioned that I hate Chris Redfield? He’s just THE WORST. He’s a no-nonsense musclebro badass tough guy… who is completely, hilariously passive and impotent in every cutscene.

Let’s take the zombies out of the equation. Let’s just imagine a cop that behaves the way Chris Redfield does…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Resident Evil 5 #3: Gone Fishin’”

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.