Silent Hill: Link Roundup

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Apr 26, 2006

Filed under: Nerd Culture 4 comments

I’m just about done blogging about this movie, but there are a few things that I want to note.

Kotaku notes that contrary to most impressions, most of the imagery in Silent Hill is not CGI. I was surprised to learn this as well. It turns out the FOG is done with CGI, though? This is odd, since fog was one of the very first special effects ever developed, and we’re actually pretty good at that one.

The difference between the impressions of gamers and non-gamers is quite dramatic. Kotaku comments on this as well.

A few random reviews from around Technorati:

Bastard’s notebook liked it. Joystiq was not impressed. The verbosely-titled As far as I have gone was very disappointed. acid for blood really liked it. cinematical was very positive.

Rotten Tomatos shows that only 24% of the critics liked the movie. However, among the cream-of-the-crop (the favorite reviewers) the movie gets the big 0%. A shame, but more or less what we expected among people who hadn’t played the game.

See also:

My previous post on odd entries in the casting list.

My post on game elements that were depicted in the movie.

My first impressions on the movie.

UPDATE: I want to add the everyone mentions how useless the Sean Bean (the father) storyline is, and how it’s a distraction from the main plot. It doesn’t add up to much in the end, and doesn’t impact the outcome of the main characters.

I think the whole reason for these scenes is so we can see the bright and sunny world. The fog of Silent Hill is always more unsettling after coming back from the real world. Still, wasting a half hour on this part of the movie just so we can have a nice visual contrast seems like an awful abuse of the viewer’s time.

STILL MORE UPDATE: Steven in the comments below points out the Ars Technica review and a couple of Real Life Comics on the movie: one and two.

 


 

Najica Blitz Panties

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Apr 26, 2006

Filed under: Anime 14 comments

Najica Blitz Tactics is really something else. During the opening credits, we are treated to many, many shots of the main character’s backside.

WIFE: I’m getting pretty tired of seeing that butt.

ME: That’s too bad. I think it’s the main character.

It’s outragous and crazy. The fan service is so constant that it sort of defies explanation. Even fan service vehicles don’t have this much fan service. Imagine making an entire show where the lead character wears a miniskirt that doesn’t even cover her underwear, and where she is constantly kicking, doing backflips, climbing ladders, and other don’t-do-this-in-miniskirts kind of stuff. Now hire a 2-foot tall pervert to be the camera man. When you’re done making the show, you will proabably still have less images of ladies’ underwear then Najica Blitz Tactics.


I see London, I see France….

It’s interesting. The story is played straight, and the visuals are played for laughs. I wasn’t sure if they were kidding or not, until we got to the part of the story where Najica must assualt a mansion which seems to have a lot more maids than anyone could use…


Nobody’s mansion needs this much cleaning.

…but then reveals that all of these maids are really bodyguards! And they are… armed?


Ummmm. Where did those come from?

The images don’t even pretend to make sense. The maids move as if drawing the guns from a holster, but it’s clear the guns weren’t there a second ago, and the uniforms leave little to the imagination. It’s full of stuff like this that seems more like parody, but at the same time the story is not a joke.

It’s funny and unexpected. To be fair, Steven warned me about this title, so I knew it wouldn’t be like Noir, but it’s one of those things you have to see to believe.

It’s currently sitting here alongside Someday’s Dreamers, which isn’t really fair. SD is instantly charming and interesting, and will probably consume all of our anime-watching time in the near future.

 


 

Final Fantasy: Advent Children

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Apr 26, 2006

Filed under: Nerd Culture 4 comments

We saw Final Fantasy XII: Advent Children last night. A few days ago Steven made a comment in this post about movies that were made just for the fans. I think this movie was the ultimate example of that. If you’ve never played the game, there is no reason to see this movie. They just didn’t make it with you in mind.

If you HAVE played the game, then you shouldn’t miss it. It’s one big collection of FF7 geek-service. Almost everyone from the game appears in the movie. Some people (the dead ones, mostly) appear only in flashback, but most key characters get some screen time. Many of the key locations are there, as well as the most notable vehicles. A few of the important moments from the game (such as the death of Aeris) are depicted in flashbacks. All of the core party members show up and we get to see them do their thing.

The movie even goes so far as to depict specific spells and other gameplay mechanics. They show us materia, which is pretty much like you’d expect: It looks like colorful glowing spheres the size of billiard balls. It shows characters using their famous moves. We see Tifa perform some of her more stunning martial attacks. The only thing that could have made it more geeky was if the words LIMIT BREAK appeared at the bottom while she did it.

I can’t believe the movie was made. It’s such a blatant depiction of the game itself that it never had a chance at the theaters in America. This is the movie that fans would have made themselves if they had the ability.

Fights are kinetic to the extreme. Everyone, even aging Cid, can jump huge distances and perform the most preposterous stunts. The characters all use their familiar weapons, with the exception of Cloud, who has a new style of sword that can split into parts and be used as multiple weapons. People get smacked with six-foot swords, thrown down from towering heights, tossed around, and blown up, but nobody gets a scratch on them. The only way you can tell if someone is hurt is if they slow down and start talking about the past.

Steven Blum is in there as the voice of Vincent. Nothing gets dubbed from Japanese without Steven Blum getting a part. I swear, they could make a dub of an all-female show like Girls High he’d still end up in it somehow.

 


 

Silent Hill: Casting and Characters

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Apr 25, 2006

Filed under: Nerd Culture 5 comments

Check out the IMDB listing for Silent Hill. There is a lot of strange stuff going on here.

Kim Coates, who played the officer with the burned hands, apparently ALSO played Henry Townshend in the same movie? I don’t remember any character going by that name. Furthermore, that’s the name of the main character from Silent Hill 4: The Room.

Tanya Allen played someone named “Anna”, which is fine, but she’s also credited with playing Pyramid Head?!? We get a good look at ‘ol Pyramid Head in the movie, and he’s obviously a beefy, bare-chested grim reaper. He never, ever speaks, so she’s not the voice actor behind him. So what’s the deal here? Did she perform the motion-capture for the CGI? I can’t imagine any other explanation.

Roberto Campanella is credited as Red Pyramid/Janitor/Colin. Now, we know who the janitor was. He’s the guy who was the corpse which was bent backwards, bound in barbed wire, and hung over a toilet. But who is Red Pyramid? That would have to be the same thing as Pyramid Head. But he’s too tall and lanky to have played the part. So two people are both credited for playing a part that they couldn’t have played, and that same part went by two different names.

Christopher Britton played Eddie Dombrowski. I don’t remember seeing a character that looked like him in the film, unless he was one of the unnamed members of the cult. Eddie Dombrowski was also the name of one of the characters in Silent Hill 2, but that Eddie was quite fat and looked nothing like Britton.

The memorable quotes page lists dialog for Pyramid Head?!? Apparently at some point he says, “Filth and lies!” Hmmmm. I wonder who the movie is calling Pyramid Head?

Alice Krige played Christabella, the cult leader. (Note that she also played the Borg Queen in one of the Trek movies). They also credit her as playing Valtiel The Yellow God. What? I’m pretty sure that if anyone like that showed up I’d remember them.

UPDATE: I think it’s plain that Eddie and Henry are just homage to the games, similar to the way they had “Dr. Carmack” in the Doom movie. This still doesn’t sort out the Red Pyramid / Pyramid Head confusion. The official site lists Pyramid Head as Red Pyramid. If you go to the wallpapers section you’ll see a desktop wallpaper with Pyramid Head under the heading “Red Pyramid”.

So who the heck is “Pyramid Head” in the movie, and how was he / she / it played by a woman, and why did it have speaking lines?

 


 

Note to Parents

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Apr 25, 2006

Filed under: Links 2 comments

Please do not leave your lightsabers lying around where they may fall into the hands of children.

On the other hand, (assuming it’s still attached) at least a lightsaber isn’t a choking hazard. If you look on the bottom you might see a sticker:

WARNING: KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN. LIGHTSABER BLADES ARE DANGEROUS FOR PREGNANT WOMEN AND EVERYONE ELSE. DO NOT USE IN BATHTUB. AIM AWAY FROM FACE. IF CONTACT OCCURS WITH SKIN, YOU’RE PRETTY MUCH SCREWED.

 


 

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in?

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Apr 25, 2006

Filed under: Nerd Culture 25 comments

Or: Why does this quiz end a preposition with?

Yeah, I know these are lame, but if you wanted something cool you wouldn’t be reading a geek culture site, would you?

You scored as Serenity (Firefly). You like to live your own way and don’t enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you.

Serenity (Firefly)

94%

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)

81%

Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)

69%

Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)

63%

Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)

63%

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

63%

Moya (Farscape)

63%

SG-1 (Stargate)

44%

Enterprise D (Star Trek)

44%

FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)

44%

Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)

44%

Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)

38%

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com


A further note: I would most certainly be Wash. I’d fly the ship and make jokes. And like in the show, nobody would laugh.

 


 

Do it again, stupid

By Shamus Posted Monday Apr 24, 2006

Filed under: Game Design 178 comments

There are some games that really, really annoy me. Popular games. Games that have sold well and are beloved by millions. Some of these games I hate with such intensity that it’s difficult to talk about them without employing profanity. I find myself shaking my head at these games thinking: Why did they MAKE it this way? And who PLAYS these games, anyway?

I’m noticing that there is an important distinction between the games that I like and the games I hate. In games I like, the appeal is a steady march to the end of the game. There is no failure (or failure is rare) but only minor setbacks. The very best ones are self-balancing. Barring that, they should at least allow the careful and thoughtful player to proceed through the game with minimal use of the “reload” and “retry” options.

The OTHER type of game, the kind that has always perplexed me, is something my brother and I refer to as a “Do it again, stupid” game. The game will pose a challenge, and the player is almost certainly doomed to fail on their first attempt. And the second. And maybe a few subsequent attempts as well. Usually we’re talking about a “mission” of some sort. As in, “do something quite difficult before the time runs out”.


If I have to do the mission twice, it must be twice as fun, right? So if I have to do the mission ten times…

It becomes clear when you do this that the designers never intended for you to succeed on the first try. They intend for you to do the mission over and over until you meet some arbitrary goal or time limit. Often the mission with have some sort of surprise “gotcha” moment that foils you. You must then remember this and plan ahead on your next attempt. An example: In Grand Theft Auto you have a street race where on one particular corner a car will ALWAYS jump out from a side street and pull in front of you. Once this happens a few times you realize it isn’t a fluke: It’s scripted, and you need to avoid it by driving on the sidewalk in that area.

I cannot describe how much I hate this. Every failure feels like wasted time to me. As in, “Hey, I’m doing this mission again. I’ve seen the cutscene. I’ve heard the dialog. I’ve seen it. Now I’m done with it and would like to move on. The Tony Hawk, Jakk, and Grand Theft Auto franchises all come to mind. Too hard. Too frustrating.

But other people love this sort of game. I’m guessing that for them the appeal is the thrill they get when they at last beat the mission. The harder the mission, the more rewarding it is when they at last pull it off. They seem to dislike the “steady progress” games that I love, because to them victory is inevitable.

For me, the do it again stupid (DIAS) games are horrible. I don’t get any sense of satisfaction when I beat a mission. I’m still ticked off that I just spent twenty minutes replaying the same three minutes of the game over and over. I resent the wasted time. I think to the one attempt ten minutes ago when I almost beat the mission but missed the goal by a quarter-second, and I’m even MORE bitter about the time spent re-playing the mission since then. More importantly, the misery I get from my half-dozen failures far outweighs the pleasure of the one final success.

Some examples:

A while back I picked up Starfox Adventures, which is supposedly a kid’s game. At one point there was a challenge I couldn’t beat. I’ve been playing video games for a quarter century, now. I’ve beaten my share of video games and proven myself to be an above-average player, but this mission was beyond me. I couldn’t do it. I got sick of trying. I never beat the game, and took it back to the store in disgust. Nothing like being beaten by a “kid’s game”.

Jakk II did this to me as well: The game came highly recommended and had fantastic visuals, but there was a “race over here real fast” mission about an hour in, and I couldn’t even come close to beating it. I realized that I was still in the early “easy” part of the game, and that the difficulty curve was only going up from here. I quit playing, and in the end I saw less than a tenth of it. (Luckily Jakk II was borrowed so at least I didn’t waste my money.)


That’s right, I’m wasted. Just like the last twenty minutes.

The thing that annoys me with these games is that there is no fail-safe. No matter how many times you fail, no matter how badly you fail, and no matter how long you remain stuck, you are never any closer to beating the mission than you were the first time you tried. There is no system to help frustrated players along or let them skip after so many attempts. There is no consolation prize. You have no new items or stats or experience to show for your work. You’re in stasis until you can jump through these hoops. It really is time wasted.

If every mission takes an average of 4 attempts for every success, then to me 80% of my playing time is being wasted. It also seems arbitrary: Like, if they want to make the game more “fun”, why not make it twice as hard? Why not just have the whole game as one long confusing mission, and every time you fail you go back to the very beginning of the game? Just think of it! Hundreds and hundreds of hours of gameplay! Think of the thrill when you at last beat it! Yay!

It sucks, and games like this need a warning label so I know to avoid them.

Over the years I’ve grown more and more wary of these sorts of games. Perhaps it’s because I’m getting older and I’m not as sharp or a quick as I used to be. Maybe it’s because I have less time for games than I did when I was twenty-two, and I’m more careful about how I spent my limited gaming time. Maybe I’m just cranky. :)

Just for fun: List any DIAS games that really ticked you off in the comments. What games were the most heartless and frustrating when it came to wasting your time?