My writing is generally fueled by whatever experiences I’m having at the moment. If I’m programming, then I talk about the coding I’m doing. If I’m playing a videogame, then I talk about the game. If I’m inflicting my music on the world, then I talk about music theory. And if my health is bad, then I try to find a way to talk about it in a way that makes it funny or thoughtful.
Lately I’m spending a lot of time worrying about my health, but this time around it’s a dull, grim sort of worry. I don’t have anything witty to say about my current predicament and I don’t have any clever observations. Things are just going poorly and there’s nothing to be done about it. My current situation is my new normal and I need to accept that.
My father died in 2000 at the age of 59. For years I’ve been half-jokingly saying that my goal was to beat him and at least make it to 60. He was an overweight recovering alcoholic with epilepsy that lived alone and smoked two packs a day, so outliving him always sounded like a pretty easy goal. I’ve got a decade to go if I want to outlast him, and It wasn’t until recently that I started to worry that I might not make it.
I’m fine at the moment, but I’m dealing with a lot of cascading health complications that began with my high blood pressure and have branched outward since then. I want to repeat that I’m okay right now. I’m not in pain and I’m not dying. But I’m moving a lot slower than I was a year ago, and I need to be very careful with my diet and medications to make sure things don’t get any worse. Continue reading 〉〉 “Diecast Unplugged #6: Let’s Talk About DEATH”