T w e n t y S i d e d
Yesterday I mentioned I’m too introverted to make use of social networking sites. Well, here is the perfect antisocial networking site, just for people like me: Bugroff. Warning: Rude language.
Hilarious.
Cryptosomethingcon
Alex responds to yesterday’s Cryptonomicon post. He’s got a chart!
MySpams
I have a MySpace page. I don’t know why. There has never been a day in my life where I woke up and said, “Dang, but I really need to find me some people to hook up with and interact with socially!” I’ve already got a blog where I can write and discuss my hobbies. So even if I was craving high levels of poorly spelled gossipy chatter, MySpace would still be a sub-optimal way of getting it.
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| Legit, you say? Well then, sign me right up! |
About the only reason I visit my page is to reject all the spam friend invites. They usually come in waves. I’ll have three days of nothing, then three invites in one day. That’s not actually that bad as far as spam goes when compared to blogs or email, but maybe I’d be worse off if I had more friends. Invariably these spams lead to a profile with some basic text I’ve read a thousand times before, posted by a “woman” with a very porny glamour shot for her profile picture. The most common profile text goes something along the lines of, “MySpace won’t let me post naked pictures of myself so you’ll have to go here.” I don’t click on the link, of course, but I’m sure it’s a generic Porn nexus or a place to try and infect unprotected machines.
But I find this to be hilarious anyway: The fiction of some girl who can’t figure out where on this wide internet can you go to share naked pictures of young women? Yes! If only there was a website out there in this purient wasteland that let you do this sort of thing.
Cryptonomicon
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When in school, the tough kids fistfight. The Jocks arm wrestle. The losers try to drink each other under the table. But when nerds compete the ritual usually takes the form of long debates on the merits of Kirk vs. Picard. It’s just the way we’re wired.
He is aware at the outset of just how dangerous his words are:
I realize that a good few of my few good readers are big fans of Neal Stephenson. I do realize that if I say anything against him I'll never be allowed to release any fiction of my own.
He makes many other pointed remarks against the book. He wraps up with this: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Cryptonomicon”
Basic Instructions
I seem to have bad luck with webcomics. They tend to run into the ground or stop updating as soon as I bookmark them. It’s gotten to the point where I avoid new webcomics, because I don’t want yet another unchanging webpage to check every morning. Still, Basic Instructions is a pretty interesting concept and manages to deliver a steady supply of funny.
Each strip is a four-panel guide on how to do something, and many touch on geekish topics which are dear to our hearts. For starters you might try “How to create house rules“, “How to recognize a bad idea“, or my favorite so far, “How to get the most entertainment for your gaming dollar“.
It’s been around since 2006, so there are plenty of archives to enjoy. Maybe this one won’t go belly-up on me in the next week.
Attention Farming
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- Call Dan an idiot. (No, really. They began their letter to him with the phrase “You are an idiot.”)
- Threaten to sue.
- Demand, more or less, that Dan give them back their lunch money and stop picking on them.
The most amusing thing they’ve done so far is demand that Dan stop linking to their promotional materials. I can’t find a permalink on his site, but you can see the post on his main page. (Look for the 19th February 2008 post.) This is, of course, akin to demanding people stop pointing and laughing at your billboard. This is made all the more giggle-inducing by the fact that they demanded that he publicize the thing in the first place.
Anyway, Dan has responded to this foot-stamping according to the ancient traditions: He’s made the thing available on a Torrent, where it will be seeded and shared all over the place by people who would otherwise never have taken an interest. If we’ve learned anything from people trying to sue the internet, it’s that the quickest way to get lots of links is to threaten to sue somebody for linking you. I just realized that this is a fantastic way to boost your popularity and bring new people to your site. I’m going to try it:
I am proud to announce that I have proven via a scientific study that reading Twenty-Sided encourages safe, effective weight loss after only a few visits. This is due to secret, proprietary methods of designing site layout that stimulates neuron… activators in the upper… lumbar that… enhances your Circadian Rhythm and optimizes your metabolism via your browser cache. It’s embedded in the CSS. It’s all very scientific and complicated but trust me, this site will allow you to safely lose 10-20 unwanted pounds after just a few readings, as well as helping you to regrow lost hair. And make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Or the same sex, if you prefer. Pretty much whatever you’re into, really.
Furthermore, I demand that all websites stop linking to this post, as you are infringing on my right to not be made fun of when making an ass of myself. It is forbidden to link to this post and if you do so I will be forced to take legal action within 48 hours of my lawyer sobering up after I bail him out of the drunk tank. Again.
I should have thought of this ages ago. I’m going to be famous!
Plugins Used
Sometimes I get emails from people asking what plugins I use for various features on this blog. I thought I’d post a quick list here for anyone else who might be curious. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Plugins Used”
From The Archives:
Starcraft 2: Rush Analysis
I write a program to simulate different strategies in Starcraft 2, to see how they compare.
Quakecon Keynote 2013 Annotated
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
Batman: Arkham City
A look back at one of my favorite games. The gameplay was stellar, but the underlying story was clumsy and oddly constructed.
TitleWhat’s Inside Skinner’s Box?
What is a skinner box, how does it interact with neurotransmitters, and what does it have to do with shooting people in the face for rare loot?
Zenimax vs. Facebook
This series explores the troubled history of VR and the strange lawsuit between Zenimax publishing and Facebook.
Crash Dot Com
Back in 1999, I rode the dot-com bubble. Got rich. Worked hard. Went crazy. Turned poor. It was fun.
A Telltale Autopsy
What lessons can we learn from the abrupt demise of this once-impressive games studio?
Stop Asking Me to Play Dark Souls!
An unhinged rant where I maybe slightly over-reacted to the water torture of Souls evangelism.
What Does a Robot Want?
No, self-aware robots aren't going to turn on us, Skynet-style. Not unless we designed them to.
What is Vulkan?
There's a new graphics API in town. What does that mean, and why do we need it?