T w e n t y S i d e d
The next Stolen Pixels is now up. It features The Witcher. I had planned to have my Witcher wrap-up post today to to accompany this, but that’s been pushed back a bit.
Stolen Pixels #11:
Fever Visions
Ugh. Not in any shape to be witty, but I’m getting tired of that Frontalot post that’s been sitting on top of the site for the last 4 days. The following is both relevant and good filler:
When I get a high fever, I tend to see bugs. Any dark spot on a light surface – like a raisin on the kitchen table, or a small screw atop one of the many light-colored devices here in my office – will seem to be a crawling insect in my peripheral vision. The illusion is broken if I look directly, but it’s quite convincing for things on the edges of my field of view. After a few hours of this I get used to it and stop being alarmed, but I don’t stop seeing the creeping movement.
Feel free to share your own fever-driven hallucinations below.
It is Pitch Black
There is no culture that cannot be improved by nerding it up. Including rap culture. Especially rap culture. For example, you could make a rap song about Zork.
It is Pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
> What is a grue?
The grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the light of day, and few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale.
> Play MC Frontalot.
Listening to the lyrics some more, there are references to a ton of different old-school interactive fiction games, not just Zork. I only recognize a few, but I can tell there are even more I’m missing.
The End of Piracy!
EDIT: Some people have pointed out this is a lot more than it seemed in the article I linked. “Trusted computing” is more than just a unique ID on a chip – it’s a system that operates on both the hardware and software level. Read the comments below for the insidious details.
My original post:
Atari founder Nolan Bushnell says a new chip puts computer piracy on the verge of being eradicated. Now, I’m about to make fun of this guy, but seriously: If I could get a job that paid millions of dollars for saying outrageous things borne of lazy ignorance? Man, where do I sign up?
It is sort of alarming to see that some people – highly paid people – simply fail to grasp the basic mechanics of piracy, even after all these years. Particularly when it’s, you know, their job.
If I’m reading this right, this system isn’t even anything that new. Right now the games that require online activation build a unique ID based on what hardware is connected to the machine. This system would replace that system with a new one that is unique to the motherboard / CPU. That’s sort of nice, I guess. It means you’ll be able to install a new graphics card without needing to re-activate the game. But it’s still a check that can be disabled by any half-decent hacker.
If I may be allowed to commit the self-indulgent crime of quoting myself:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “The End of Piracy!”
Stolen Pixels #10:
Gameplay Tutorial
The tenth Stolen Pixels is now up. It’s about Assassin’s Creed. Tell your friends.
Wishlist
I have created an Amazon Wishlist. If you’re one of the people who has offered to buy me a game recently because you want to see my review, then read on.
EDIT: Okay. You can stop now. I expected this is be some low-key thing. I thought I might get one or maybe two if someone was feeling generous. Maybe a game would show up every odd month or so. I just checked the page and I have six games on the way. Thanks so much to those who pitched in. I wasn’t expecting this kind of response.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Wishlist”
The REAL Rogues
The following is about the most incestuous link I’ve ever put up:
Fellow blogger Jay Barnson (who was one of the participants in my XFire Aftermath series) has a great article titled Going Rogue over at The Escapist (where I publish my Stolen Pixels comic) and in that article Jay interviews Steven Peeler, the guy behind Depths of Peril, which I reviewed back in June.
If you’re having trouble following all that, I might suggest making a flowchart. Another option is to simply give up on the previous train wreck of a paragraph and move onto the next one, which I promise will be far more lucid:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “The REAL Rogues”
From The Archives:
The Terrible New Thing
Fidget spinners are ruining education! We need to... oh, never mind the fad is over. This is not the first time we've had a dumb moral panic.
The Gradient of Plot Holes
Most stories have plot holes. The failure isn't that they exist, it's when you notice them while immersed in the story.
Steam Summer Blues
This mess of dross, confusion, and terrible UI design is the storefront the big publishers couldn't beat? Amazing.
Starcraft: Bot Fight
Let's do some scripting to make the Starcraft AI fight itself, and see how smart it is. Or isn't.
Could Have Been Great
Here are four games that could have been much better with just a little more work.
Linux vs. Windows
Finally, the age-old debate has been settled.
Good to be the King?
Which would you rather be: A king in the middle ages, or a lower-income laborer in the 21st century?
The Dumbest Cutscene
This is it. This is the dumbest cutscene ever created for a AAA game. It's so bad it's simultaneously hilarious and painful. This is "The Room" of video game cutscenes.
Joker's Last Laugh
Did you anticipate the big plot twist of Batman: Arkham City? Here's all the ways the game hid that secret from you while also rubbing your nose in it.
Games and the Fear of Death
Why killing you might be the least scary thing a game can do.