GameScience Dice

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Dec 3, 2008

Filed under: Tabletop Games 88 comments

Here is a video (broken into two parts) from GameScience, where one Colonel Louis Zocchi makes the case that standard gaming dice are not very accurate (that is, not very random) and that his dice (this is part of a sales pitch, mind you) will perform better during play.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “GameScience Dice”

 


 

Stolen Pixels #43:
Build More Prisons

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Dec 2, 2008

Filed under: Column 0 comments

Wherein I deliver a verbal beating to a bunch that has been just begging for it.

 


 

Silent Hill Homecoming:
Down is the new Up

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Dec 2, 2008

Filed under: Game Reviews 57 comments

To the person in charge of the inputs in Silent Hill Homecoming:

Dear Sir,

You are a mountebank and an idiot. Whoever gave you command of a compiler did a grave disservice not just to your software product, but to the industry as a whole. I am referring, of course, to the blatant and willful omission of a feature to allow the user to invert the y-axis, so that pressing forward results in looking down, and contrary-wise, pulling back will result in looking up. This is a feature offered by every other such product you might care to name, including all of the previous works bearing the "Silent Hill" moniker. I have spent several hours in a state of constant agitation because I cannot comfortably make use of your softwares.

I can only conclude this was an act of calculated malice, the work of an eager and spiteful reprobate. The effort required to multiply the y-axis by negative one is childishly trivial compared to the effort required to overcome eighteen years of muscle memory, which is what it seems you're asking me to do in order to play your video amusement product.

And do not attempt to claim that this was merely an oversight. You clearly offer the option to invert said axis whilst aiming. Thus you are aware of the need for this feature. I can make the controls behave the way I desire during combat, but not during the course of the rest of the experience. I cannot fathom the intent - save malice - that led to this state of affairs. Why would I want to reverse the behavior of one, and not the other? The only thing worse than having the controls work backwards all the time is to have them work backwards only most of the time, and then have them switch once again when the I am under the duress and challenge of combat.

What truly appalls me is not the contempt you have for me, which is palpable enough, but the contempt you show for your own work. Have you no honor? No shame? No basic sense of propriety? You sir, are a villain.

Do not imagine this is the end of this matter. You have not tasted the fullness of my wrath. Indeed, but have not even sampled a tithe of it. Pray you do not encounter me in the flesh, for as surely as I have spent the last three hours spinning in place and staring at the ceiling in your video entertainment product, I will teach you to fear justice the way the wicked things beneath the earth fear the sun itself.

Indignantly,

Shamus Young

 


 

Tomb Raider Underworld Reviews

By Shamus Posted Monday Dec 1, 2008

Filed under: Video Games 54 comments

In a phone call from publisher Eidos to a game review site:

If you're planning on reviewing Tomb Raider Underworld at less than an 8.0, we need you to hold your review till Monday.

They (Eidos) came out later and tried to put a good face on things, which was a fumbling attempt to convince us we didn’t see what we just saw. I mean, who are you going to believe, us, or what we said yesterday?

Just that we're trying to get the Metacritic rating to be high, and the brand manager in the US that's handling all of Tomb Raider has asked that we just manage the scores before the game is out, really, just to ensure that we don't put people off buying the game, basically.

That is to say: We would just like the reviewers to hold off doing their jobs until we can fleece their readers.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Tomb Raider Underworld Reviews”

 


 

XKCD – Sleet

By Shamus Posted Monday Dec 1, 2008

Filed under: Links 28 comments

Today’s XKCD hits home for me:

I mean, I can barely hear myself complaining about Battlestar Galactica.

My wife is actually a good sport about it, though. Actually, I guess all of you are.

Did you know that the upcoming PC version of Dragon Age: Origins is going to require a sample of human blood before the game will launch? I heard the collector’s edition comes with a special “dragon’s tooth” thumbtack just for this purpose. Their original plan called for the blood of a virgin girl under the age of 17, but they backed off from that and will now accept blood from anyone.

Yay freedom! Let the reconciliation begin.

 


 

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

By Shamus Posted Saturday Nov 29, 2008

Filed under: Movies 63 comments


Link (YouTube)

Dear Internet,

You have gone too far. I will get you for this.

Love, Shamus

 


 

Stolen Pixels #42: Growing Pains

By Shamus Posted Friday Nov 28, 2008

Filed under: Column 0 comments

Thus ends my Fallout 3 series. Hope you liked it, even if you didn’t like Fallout 3.