T w e n t y S i d e d
Muah ha ha ha ha! Once my plans are complete everyone will realize that I am… THE BAD GUY!
Fable 2 Part 2: In-Spire-ing
The scourging of the Fable 2 story continues here. You might want to read part 1 if you missed that yesterday.
In the comments, someone has pointed out that It’s “Lucien” not “Lucian”. Didn’t have time to fix it since then, so please bear with me.
Spoilers below.
Having successfully recruited Hammer the Warrior, Theresa sends you to find Garth the mage next. He’s living in a big tower, as wizards do. Lucian’s men get there just moments before you, and kidnap Garth by teleporting him away.
What are the odds? Ten years of no activity, and now Lucian just happens to get everywhere five minutes before you do. It would only have taken a moment to paint over little contrivances like this.
Leave behind all your gear, your powers, your dog, all your property, your money, the mini-games, the fun combat, the treasure hunting, and the amusing sidequests. That's what happens when you go to the Spire. It's also what happens when you stop playing the game.
So Lucian now has Garth and has taken him to the Spire. Theresa concludes the the only way to get Garth back is to go to the Spire yourself. Not by sneaking in, but by joining Lucian’s forces. And to join, you have to win the Crucible. (A Gladiator – style tournament.) Lucian apparently only wants people tough enough to win the Crucible in his army. In order to even attempt the Crucible, you must already be famous.
Once you have enough fame, you compete in the Crucible and are then allowed to board the boat that will take you to the Spire. All of your weapons and items are taken away, and you set sail for the Spire. You get off the ship with a load of other new recruits.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Fable 2 Part 2: In-Spire-ing”
Fable 2 Part 1: A Bird Crapped on Your Head
“Railroading” is a dirty word in a tabletop RPG. Players come to the game with the expectation that they will have some input into the shape of the world besides rolling the dice to stab things. Computer games are delivered and mediated by an uncreative computer, and so we have to accept a certain degree of railroading. A good railroader will make the process natural: The player will be forced to do that which most people would choose to do of their own volition. As long as their actions make sense and fit with their goals, the lack of freedom is usually grudgingly tolerated. (Although we are always clamoring for more freedom whenever we can get it.)
A bad railroader will use their power over the player character to force the PC to do things they would never choose to do on their own. Their (mostly illusory) autonomy is negated so that their character can be conscripted in service of the plot. The player will be forced to ally themselves with people they want to kill, surrender when they would rather fight, show mercy when they would rather have vengeance, blunder into obvious traps, and listen to villainous diatribes rather than simply taking action. This is Fable 2. The game touts “choices with consequences”, but the choices you are allowed to make in-game are never germane to the plot. They’re usually artificially binary good / evil decisions that have no impact on the main story. You won’t be allowed to make any choices that deviate from your predetermined role as a clueless mute doormat.
As before, this will roll right over the plot without regard to spoiler warnings. Proceed at your own risk.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Fable 2 Part 1: A Bird Crapped on Your Head”
Fable 2: Thematic Failures
I mentioned in my original post on Fable 2 that the plot is insultingly simplistic, ham-fisted, and perfunctory. It’s my only gripe with what is otherwise a stellar game. I do not count the hours I spent with Fable 2 as time squandered, but I do resent the main story and its self-indulgent idiocies. The main plot of a game is a pretty big thing to screw up, and the failure here is all-encompassing. The plot fails thematically, it fails logically, it fails dramatically, and – most importantly – it fails to be entertaining. It’s a dreadful chore to endure the key moments in the story of Fable 2, and I was always relieved when I was released from the iron grip of the narrative and allowed to go back to having fun.
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| The art style falls near the World of Warcraft end of the spectrum, with lots of exaggerated, chunky buildings. |
Note that there is no way to talk about this without using spoilers. The main plot has few surprises, and the ones it does have are nasty, mood-breaking fouls on the part of the writer. I’m basically spoiling something which is already ruined. I personally would have enjoyed the game more if I knew ahead of time how unfair the thing was going to be, but I do not promise this will be true for everyone. I am going to talk about end-game events here, so use your own judgment.
Spoilers begin now…
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Fable 2: Thematic Failures”
Stolen Pixels #61: Unfit
The only problem with Wii Fit is that it hates organic beings. Other than that, it’s great software.
Deus Ex 3
There is gossip going around, talking about the details of the allegedly upcoming Deus Ex 3. I try not to invest too much into this sort of thing, since this stuff could be misleading or untrue. It’s also entirely possible that the project will change direction or be canceled before we see the end product.
But one thing I do suspect is true is that they are repeating the Invisible War mistake of trying to pick up where previous plots left off. Each of the previous two games brought things to a final close without leaving much room for more story. This series keeps painting itself into a corner.
This series should absolutely dispense with the idea of an ongoing plot. This is a game about conspiracy theories, after all. There are only so many times you can pull the “behind that conspiracy is another, even larger one!” And the first game hit that point pretty early on. The fun of the game is in revealing these hidden truths, but those truths become simple baggage requiring lengthy exposition in subsequent titles.
A much better idea is for each game to start fresh, in the near future. This is where cyberpunk belongs. Once technology gets too far ahead the story stops being about dystopian futures and starts being about magic.
In my review of Invisible War, I said:
It would have been far better to keep the premise and throw out the story. Start over with a new mix of conspiracies. You could even keep the character of JC Denton, but drop him into a different reality this time around. Instead of working for UNATCO, maybe he starts off as a cop or a bodyguard or a secret service agent. Instead of a plague, society is dealing with some new designer drug. Or weapon. Cyborgs. You know, whatever. The foes would be different and their goals would be different, but the process of unraveling a series of escalating conspiracies would remain the same. The first time you uncover the Illuminati is fun. The second time through, you begin to wonder how these guys ever kept their organization a secret in the first place.
One of the features they list is “squad-based enemy AI”, which seems to be the FPS feature du jour. See also: “Havok Physics”. It’s not bad that they’re including it, it’s bad that they think this is what players are worried about. I had many gripes with Deus Ex: Invisible War, and none of them had anything to do with the behavior of enemy AI. It’s nice if the bad guys will be fun to fight, but there’s no sense in putting a fresh coat of paint on a leaky ship.
I do appreciate them lowering my expectations beforehand, although I doubt that was their intention. Because I am a fool, I still hold hope for this series. I’m sure to buy it. It’s not likely, but the chance to strike Deus Ex gold a second time is too tempting to pass up.
Gears of War DRM screwup makes PC version unplayable
Looks like a software bug has locked people out of their copy of Gears of War for the PC. Says a rep in the forums:
We have been notified of the issue and are working with Microsoft to get it resolved. […]Sorry for any problems related to this. I’ll post more once we have a resolution.
Sure, it’s a terrible thing to lock legit customers out of a product they own, but, it’s all worth it because it stopped people from pirating the game, right guys?
Right?
EDIT: As pointed out below, this isn’t so much a “bug” as “idiotic design and failure to plan ahead.”
EDIT 2, Electric Boogaloo: Looks like the failure was on the part of the anti-cheat, not the DRM. I do not consider this an improvement, but it’s an important distinction.
From The Archives:
The Best of 2017
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2017.
Shamus Plays LOTRO
As someone who loves Tolkein lore and despises silly MMO quests, this game left me deeply conflicted.
How I Plan To Rule This Dumb Industry
Here is how I'd conquer the game-publishing business. (Hint: NOT by copying EA, 2K, Activision, Take-Two, or Ubisoft.)
PC Gaming Golden Age
It's not a legend. It was real. There was a time before DLC. Before DRM. Before crappy ports. It was glorious.
Punishing The Internet for Sharing
Why make millions on your video game when you could be making HUNDREDS on frivolous copyright claims?
Are Lootboxes Gambling?
Obviously they are. Right? Actually, is this another one of those sneaky hard-to-define things?
Shamus Plays WOW
Ever wondered what's in all those quest boxes you've never bothered to read? Get ready: They're more insane than you might expect.
The Brilliance of Mass Effect
What is "Domino Worldbuilding" and how did it help to make Mass Effect one of the most interesting settings in modern RPGs?
A Lack of Vision and Leadership
People fault EA for being greedy, but their real sin is just how terrible they are at it.
Spoiler Warning
A video Let's Play series I collaborated on from 2009 to 2017.