T w e n t y S i d e d

I didn’t think we would be able to fit the entire Boomer quest line into a single episode, but once again Josh proves he is the best at… whatever it is that he does.

The thing where I cut off my audio is really painful for me. Back in 1990-1992 when I worked fast food, I prided myself on NOT being That Guy. See, everyone else hit the button too late and let go too soon.

“-elcome to McDonad’s can I take your or-?”

“-ike fries with tha-?”

“-ank you. Please drive to the next win-“

ARG! I hated working drive-though with these people. (I think it would help if your own audio was fed back into your headset, so you could hear yourself doing this.) I liked that I didn’t do this, and I tried to teach others the same.

And now, I have become that guy, and I can’t STOP DOING IT. I sat down this week with the intent to hit the button early and release it late, just to make sure that I didn’t cut myself off. I reminded myself. I focused on it. And I managed to cut myself off, like, four times in this episode alone. I imagine the problem will get worse as the week goes on.

Yes, I could use hands-free talking, but that comes with its own set of problems. I really don’t want to spend the next four weeks wrangling audio thresholds trying to find the balance between “broadcast every slightest sound in this room” and “broadcast the middle of every sentence”. What I really need is:

1. Some way to set up my headset so that I only hear my own voice when broadcasting. (Impossible, as this loop takes place outside of Vent.)
2. A way to mod Vent so that it will continue to broadcast for a half second after releasing the push-to-talk key.
3. Legally change my name to Sha-

Stupid technology, always doing exactly what I tell it to do, instead of what I want.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

So, normal hiding and stealth boys don’t conceal you, but crouching in front of a house does? The impassible wall of rock doesn’t provide cover from high explosives, but bombed-out house frames do? They can nail you with parabolic ordnance when you’re on the run and changing direction, but they can’t nail you when you hold still after crouching behind some planks?

It’s true that the game gives you instructions on how to pass through town, but those instructions really only make sense when you’ve scouted out the town. Once you’ve seen the town (and been blown up) the directions make sense, because then you know the boundaries and can make sense of stuff like “north-west corner of town”.

Easy or not, this is a pretty lame challenge. It’s doesn’t make sense in terms of the rules of the real world. It doesn’t make sense in terms of the game world. Suddenly the rules of cover, line of sight, stealth, and enemy targeting are all changed for this one “puzzle”.

Did you put 100 points into sneak? Can you steal a man’s underpants without him noticing? Are you crouched behind a wall of rock, where nobody on the planet can see you? Well guess what, kid? Boom. That’s right: BOOM. Screw you and your skill points. You’re going to do this puzzle the way the DM intended, or you’re not getting in here.

Dang kids. Always trying to use their creativity and reasoning to solve things. The sooner they realize the world is cheap, unfair, and arbitrary, they better off they are.

Hmm. We got a little bitter at the end, didn’t we? Oopsie.

Now you can see why we were dreading coming here.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.