Spoiler Warning S5E27: Fish ‘n Chips

By Mumbles Posted Thursday Jun 2, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 211 comments


Link (YouTube)

What up, everyone. It’s Mumbles. Taking over Chocolate Hammer for the day just wasn’t enough for me. I’m the Doctor Doom of nerd blogs. Actually, as a sidenote, the Fantastic Four is my favorite Marvel series. It’s evolved into a story where Reed Richards has all of the qualities to make him an excellent super villain, but it’s his family and nemesis Doom that keep him doing good. Unfortunately, the movie is a perfect example of Hollywood completely misinterpreting characters. Reed Richards isn’t a shy, bumbling nerd. He’s actually a confident prick. Is it so difficult for people to believe that nerdy guys can have a little bit of swagger because of their intelligence? Do people love Tony Stark because he’s smart or because he’s a charming rich guy in a cool suit?

Anyway, the early issues of Fantastic Four are really worth checking out if you’ve got some time on your hands. My brother says Jack Kirby shines in Thor, but his work in FF is just as impressive. If I could lend all of you my anthologies, I totally would.

Did that sound a little too off topic? You want to know why? Because we can’t stay on topic this week during Spoiler Warning. I don’t know if it’s because Ruts and Shamus haven’t played Dead Money or my own personal resentment for it being a buggy piece of crap on my PC. Or both. Whatever the case may be, we really go off the rails today and tomorrow.

Regarding today’s episode, I just want to apologize in advance. You’ll know when it happens.

 


 

Chocolate Mumbles vs. Digital Rutskarn

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jun 1, 2011

Filed under: Links 116 comments

It’s like one of those heartwarming Disney movies where parent and kid swap bodies and engage in hijinks that help them understand each other in a new way, leading reconciliation and a greater appreciation for each other. And love.

Only, in this case the father and son are Vader and Luke, and swapping places has only escalated a feud that will end in hilarious murder and madcap corpse abuse. To wit, he is on her site and she is on his site and I’m just going to hang out here and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Technically, Josh and I also traded blogs today. I mean, he posted Spoiler Warning, and then I didn’t do a damn thing because he doesn’t have a blog. Or a website. Or Twitter. Or Facebook. Or a picture of himself. It was like “Trading Places” with the invisible man.

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E26: Fantastic Plot Doors

By Josh Posted Wednesday Jun 1, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 128 comments


Link (YouTube)

I really like Dead Money. I do. It features Obsidian in top form: intriguing characters, sensible dialogue, and tightly woven plot themes. Basically, it has all of the things that make me willing to tolerate Obsidian’s terrible level design, ever-too-short development cycles, and non-existent QA testing.

Unfortunately, aside from the bugs and rat-mazes that you’d expect from Obsidian, Dead Money is also tarnished by the fact that they decided to spring for a Bioshock-esque survival horror theme. Now, we’ve already demonstrated, in a rather spectacularly conclusive fashion, that this sort of gameplay doesn’t really work on Spoiler Warning. But then, it didn’t work much better for me when I was playing alone either. Oh, certainly, the immersion was better, and the exploration/scavenging elements are much more pronounced when you don’t have three people inside your head yelling at you to get out of the inventory screen and go punch some poor guy’s arm off. But the horror never really worked because there was nothing in the DLC to actually scare me. The Ghost People provided a mildly interesting change of pace, but when you can mow through entire groups of them and take virtually no damage, they aren’t going to stay intimidating for long.

And I’m not really sure there was a way it could have worked, no matter what they did with it. New Vegas is not a self-contained, linear shooter. It’s a sandbox, with an open ended levelling system that enables hundreds of different viable builds. With that in mind, I don’t see any way they could have properly balanced the enemies for even most of the player builds. Sure, they could have taken a page from Oblivion’s book and aggressively scaled the enemies with the player’s level, but that wouldn’t work for the same reason it didn’t work in Oblivion; because level is hardly indicative of the capabilities a given player can have in New Vegas.

Now, there are other routes they could have taken. Maybe they could have made it more difficult by not giving players any useful weapons from the more overpowered skills – most notably unarmed and melee – but that would more likely just serve to frustrate someone who entered the DLC with a full melee spec and no ranged weapons skills. And in the end, no amount of balancing is going to turn New Vegas into a linear shooter. There’s just no way to know how powerful a player is, at least without writing some elaborate system that checks perks and skill point allocations and dynamically balances all of the enemies to be strong against that particular build. And that’s far more work than Obsidian would have wanted to put into it.

Instead, it was (ostensibly) balanced straight across the board for level 20+ characters. And then I beat it easily with a melee/stealth character that entered the DLC at level 9.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that the Villa is the worst part of Dead Money. Once you get into the casino and the plot starts to pick up and reveal more about what’s really going on, that’s when Dead Money gets good.

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E25: Of the Taco

By Josh Posted Tuesday May 31, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 124 comments


Link (YouTube)

So, for those of you who are curious, not everyone in the cast has played this DLC. So here’s pretty much how this week is gonna go down:

I have played through and completed Dead Money.

Mumbles has played Dead Money, but got stuck on a door halfway through that crashed her game every time she used it, so she uninstalled New Vegas instead.

Shamus is too rich and cool with his posh office-type job with the private jets and the board meetings and the dough that is totally rolling in to pay for something like DLC.

And Rutskarn is… well, whatever the hell Rutskarn is. But the point is, he hasn’t played Dead Money either.

Oh yeah. The commentary this week is going to be insightful.

 


 

All Word Processors Suck

By Shamus Posted Sunday May 29, 2011

Filed under: Rants 419 comments

Maybe you’ve heard about it already, but I’ve been working on a book. I began working in Google Docs. I use Docs for my weekly column. It has what I need from a word processor: It loads quickly, gives word count & page number, has spell-checking, and doesn’t try to do my thinking for me. I plodded away on the book for about three months using Docs, before I discovered that it has a size limit. At 90k words, Google Docs told me my document was too large. Fair enough. It’s called “Google Docs” not “Google Great Big Honkin’ Books”.

I could have split it into two documents, but I knew that sooner or later I was going to have to move to a standard word processor. I have proof readers lined up. Professionals, who know their way around a rough draft of a book. And the thing I’ve learned is that the business more or less orbits around Microsoft Word. Sure, you can submit in other formats, but the most convenient way to share is to simply use what everyone else is using. You know how it goes.

Of course, buying Microsoft Word myself is out of the question. Aside from the expense, it really is horrible software. I had a copy of it about five or six years ago and I gave it away, vowing I’d never use it again. It’s a stupid, buggy, pushy, ugly, bloated, nagging, resource pig. It’s like one of those novelty swiss army knives with too many features. Attached to a brick. With a serrated handle.

swiss_army_knife.jpg

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Spoiler Warning S5E24: Silent but Deadly

By Shamus Posted Friday May 27, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 174 comments


Link (YouTube)

Rutskarn has wisdom at the end. Christine is much better with all of her emoting conveyed via simple text. If they had tried to animate all of her movements it would have been expensive, time-consuming, glitchy, and we would have ignored it anyway because we’d be reading the text. (And we MUST have the text. These 3d models are nowhere near sophisticated or detailed enough to communicate only via pantomime.)

One of my laments with the original Fallout was that they never really leveraged that text window. See, the original Fallout had this little text field in the lower-left part of the screen:

fallout_interface.jpg

One of my favorite moments in the game was when it narrated the bit about you seeing natural light for the first time in your life. It was an excellent line that set the mood and drove home the point about how sheltered your life had been before now. I also missed it completely on my first play-through, because my first five minutes with the game had taught me, “This window is for combat messages and can be safely ignored”.

I loved the idea of a narration window, and I was glad when it delivered a little dose of flavor text. Sadly, the window was too small, the font was too blocky, and 90% of the text that appeared in there was useless. We can argue about what elements make a game a “true” Fallout game. Mutants? Retro-future? The Brotherhood? We can go around on this all day, but I think everyone can agree that the one common feature shared by all games is the idea of a horribly obtuse and difficult interface.

Text is a powerful tool, and game designers pretty much abandoned it in the late 90’s. Once in a while we get a game like Amnesia: Dark Descent that gives us some text worth reading. (Which is not the same as giving us text that we’re obliged to read.) But as someone who has played more than his share of MMO games and makes a point of always reading the quest text, I’d say prose is a lost art when it comes to game design. So it was nice seeing them do something interesting with Christine here.

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E23: Elijah’s Interocitor

By Shamus Posted Thursday May 26, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 144 comments


Link (YouTube)

I think I’ve figured it out. Here is how to make an expansion pack for a Fallout game:


  1. Make one new area motif. Now use it. Everywhere.
  2. Make one new weapon. Make sure it’s way overpowered.
  3. Make one new enemy model. Now use it. Everywhere. Make sure it’s crazy powerful so it can stand up to the overpowered weapon you added.
  4. Take away all player inventory.
  5. Take away all player choice.
  6. Take away the looting & bartering mechanics.
  7. Add one binary choice at the end, because then you can claim the DLC has “player choice”.

They don’t all follow this list, of course. But if you look at Operation: Anchorage, The Pitt, Broken Steel, Point Lookout, and Mothership Zeta, the pattern is there. Dead Money looks to be following that template as well. I don’t know. Haven’t played it myself. I watched Josh play Dead Money for 40 minutes this weekend. It looks better than the Fallout 3 DLC, but that’s a very, very small accomplishment.

I guess I’ll see how it turns out along with the rest of you.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Spoiler Warning S5E23: Elijah’s Interocitor”