Assassin’s Creed 2 EP5: Leonardo da Sissy

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Sep 27, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 92 comments


Link (YouTube)

So let’s see:

  • Leonardo da Vinci is baffled by a simple spring-loaded mechanism, to the point where he can’t even study it – he needs to read the directions!
  • Leonardo da Vinci tries to scare Ezio by threatening to cut off his finger, but Ezio makes him look like a dick by just throwing his hand onto the table, “Fine. Cut it off. Let’s do this.”
  • Leonardo da Vinci is rubbish at bluffing the guard, telling an obvious lie in the clumsiest manner possible.
  • Leonardo da Vinci is crap in a fight and gets his ass kicked by a lone guard who isn’t even trying.
  • When you mention going to the brothel, Leonardo da Vinci is evidently on a first-name basis with the madam. So I guess he has trouble getting chicks?

Geeze Ubisoft, what DO you guys have against Leonardo da Vinci?

 


 

Autoblography Part 18: Drills

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Sep 27, 2011

Filed under: Personal 103 comments

shamus_1985.jpg

I am fifteen years old, attending eighth grade. It’s 1985. My brother Daniel is born. Back to the Future will premiere later this year.

I’m still in the Special Education program, although I don’t have any Special Ed classes. My Special Ed handler looks at my grades, and my test results, and then works with me to figure out where I might need help and where I might benefit from more direct instruction. I really like having an adult speak with me and involve me in my education like this, instead of being shoved around the system like a bit of paperwork.

I find myself attracted to the Special Ed classes, because I feel much more relaxed in the smaller groups, and also because the work is so dang easy. I also enjoy having an adult engage me directly. I am content to slack off and remain in Special Ed, perhaps even hoping that I’ll get pulled out of a few regular classes and put into Special Education curriculum.

I’m a bit more socially developed, and it’s easier for adults to judge my intelligence by talking to me. My teacher is also armed with my standardized test scores, and she is too wise to fall for my slacking. She can see clearly that there is a massive disparity between my ability and my performance. That gap might have been muddled in those years when I had a bad home life, intense social dysfunction, and a nervous system full of drugs, but it’s pretty clear now that my scholastic failures have nothing to do with me finding the material to be too difficult.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Autoblography Part 18: Drills”

 


 

Wedding Day!

By Shamus Posted Monday Sep 26, 2011

Filed under: Landmarks 78 comments

Amusement parks often have these wooden guardians standing by the entrance, letting visitors know that, “You must be as tall as Mr. Smugarse here to board this ride!” When you’re young these guys tower over you, mocking you and standing between you and the really good rides. You sulk around Kiddieland, dreaming of conquering the coasters that fill your horizon on every side. Then a couple of years later you come back and Mr. Smugarse is suddenly a diminutive little runt. He’s beneath your nose, and your notice. Full of pride, you strut onto the big coaster, ride it, and throw up the corndogs you just ate. Congratulations. You’ve finally come into your own.

Your Humble Host, along with Mrs. Humble Host.
Your Humble Host, along with Mrs. Humble Host.

Fifteen years ago marriage towered over me, casting an imposing shadow on my future. Was I up to this? Was I going to blow it like my dad did? Unlike a roller coaster, life doesn’t turn you away if you’re not ready for the big rides. Often it doesn’t even warn you. And when you screw up, you lose a lot more than a belly full of overpriced corndogs.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Wedding Day!”

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP4: An Assassin Is (Not) You!

By Josh Posted Saturday Sep 24, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 154 comments


Link (YouTube)

And a bonus episode for the weekend since we started this week late. We should be back to our regular schedule next week.

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP3: And Then Something Bad Happened

By Josh Posted Friday Sep 23, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 180 comments


Link (YouTube)

You know, in retrospect, the title for last episode would’ve been better for this one. Oh well.

Also, we had another IMG Media UK claim on this video, but I disputed it immediately. Still, if youtube didn’t update immediately, it may be unavailable for a little while in countries that aren’t the US or UK (because that makes a bloody lot of sense). Let me know if there are any problems.

 


 

IMG Media UK Scam

By Shamus Posted Thursday Sep 22, 2011

Filed under: Rants 116 comments

Some people have pointed out that the most recent episode of Spoiler Warning is blocked in ALL COUNTRIES outside of the USA and UK. Apparently, we have the jackasses at IMG Media UK to thank for this. Here is another game channel that got nailed by these clowns, and here is that user’s explanation:


Link (YouTube)

I’ve disputed the claim. I’m sure in a few days this will be sorted, during which time our content will be down and IMG Media UK might make some money on our efforts in regions where the video is allowed. Apparently they can issue these fraudulent claims and collect money without fear of losing their “partner” status?

Off-the-cuff ranting:

Yes, the law has set up a system of guilty until proven innocent, on the basis of a (basically) anonymous accuser who has a financial motivation for making false claims and who can do so with impunity. I can point the finger of blame at Youtube, but Youtube points the finger of blame at US Law, which obliges them to behave this way. We can point the finger of blame at the lawmakers, but they will turn around and point the finger of blame at the Old Media giants who… lined their pockets to get this horrible law passed. Actually, I guess they ignore us rather than do that.

Either way, this sucks. We can moan about creeps like IMG Media UK, but if YouTube stomps on them another company will rise to take advantage of this lucrative exploit. (Lucrative in terms of effort vs. reward.) This problem can’t be fixed without fixing the defective system that makes it possible.

Still, YouTube needs to smack down these creeps in the meantime. I realize they might not want to stand up to the major publishers in Hollywood, but if some idiots show up and claim to own all the videogame footage in the world and file disputed claims against hundreds of content producers, it should be easy to deal with them.

The YouTube dispute process is still absurd. You’re accused of copying content without given ANY indication of what the content is, or where it’s located. This is like the cops coming to your house and saying they have a tip (from a guy who makes money providing tips to cops) that you have stolen goods. They don’t know where the goods are, how you got them, or even WHAT they are, but you need to sit in jail until you can prove you own everything you have. Once you clear your name, there is no penalty for the tipster.

Addendum: Grrrr.

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP2: Ezio Auditore, Paper Boy

By Shamus Posted Thursday Sep 22, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 140 comments


Link (YouTube)