Wedding Day!

By Shamus Posted Monday Sep 26, 2011

Filed under: Landmarks 78 comments

Amusement parks often have these wooden guardians standing by the entrance, letting visitors know that, “You must be as tall as Mr. Smugarse here to board this ride!” When you’re young these guys tower over you, mocking you and standing between you and the really good rides. You sulk around Kiddieland, dreaming of conquering the coasters that fill your horizon on every side. Then a couple of years later you come back and Mr. Smugarse is suddenly a diminutive little runt. He’s beneath your nose, and your notice. Full of pride, you strut onto the big coaster, ride it, and throw up the corndogs you just ate. Congratulations. You’ve finally come into your own.

Your Humble Host, along with Mrs. Humble Host.
Your Humble Host, along with Mrs. Humble Host.

Fifteen years ago marriage towered over me, casting an imposing shadow on my future. Was I up to this? Was I going to blow it like my dad did? Unlike a roller coaster, life doesn’t turn you away if you’re not ready for the big rides. Often it doesn’t even warn you. And when you screw up, you lose a lot more than a belly full of overpriced corndogs.

wedding_couple2.jpg

On Sunday I got to look at marriage again as my youngest brother took the leap. My own day looks small and distant in the rear-view mirror, but I could see it looming large in front of him and for a moment I could remember what it felt like to stand up there and say the vows.

wedding_couple.jpg

Weather is important for a good wedding. You don’t want everyone to hide their rented finery under their frumpy everyday coats, and you don’t want them to roast alive in the sun during the Trial of Photography. Today, it was relentlessly gorgeous, like someone had taken a slice of early June and hid it away for us here at the end of September.

This wedding changed shape many times over the past couple of months. Originally Dan and Angela envisioned a massive, church-filling event. Then that dream was scrapped in favor of a simple, unceremonious trip to the courthouse, to be followed by an unspecified celebration at some uncertain date in the future. Unwilling to defer the day of joy like this, they finally decided on a small ceremony consisting of the Groom’s people, the Bride’s people, and our D&D group. You know. Like a proper wedding.

Here you can see the D&D group that led to the creation of this very website. In the back is Dan, the groom.  Next is Patrick and his wife, followed by Eric and Joe.  Bogan, the final member of our group, didn’t make the ceremony but he did make it to the reception.  Joe is showing off his tie.  We’d decided that the red vertical stripe looked kind of like the Tower of Sauron, so we spent the rest of the day teasing him about wearing the “Tie of Sauron”. By evening this joke was a dead horse with many, many whip-marks on it.
Here you can see the D&D group that led to the creation of this very website. In the back is Dan, the groom. Next is Patrick and his wife, followed by Eric and Joe. Bogan, the final member of our group, didn’t make the ceremony but he did make it to the reception. Joe is showing off his tie. We’d decided that the red vertical stripe looked kind of like the Tower of Sauron, so we spent the rest of the day teasing him about wearing the “Tie of Sauron”. By evening this joke was a dead horse with many, many whip-marks on it.

It was a perfect ceremony. There was a newborn baby that never cried, and children who were quiet and well-behaved. (Mine.) The bride and groom seemed to be vibrating with joyous energy. The pastor brought the right mix of Message and levity, so that everyone laughed and wept in in proper proportions and at the proper times. The men were dapper, the women were lovely, and all of them were effortlessly overshadowed by beauty of the bride, as was fitting.

If the kids are awake at the end of a celebration, you have done something wrong.
If the kids are awake at the end of a celebration, you have done something wrong.

It’s a family tradition to bring out some childhood item of the groom’s during the reception. At mine it was my stuffed bunny. For Dan it was his ragged and threadbare blue blanket. I suppose in some families they do this sort of thing to humiliate the groom for a laugh, but here it’s a sort of bittersweet moment.

wedding_me.jpg

So that was a good weekend. I didn’t get a lick of writing done. I hope you weren’t expecting a lot of content this week. (Josh had health problems, and didn’t get a Shogun entry written.) We should have Spoiler Warning and more Autoblography according to whatever is passing for a schedule these days, but I don’t imagine there will be much else. Eating these leftovers is going to require a full-time commitment from me.

Best of luck to Daniel and Angela. Love you guys.

 


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78 thoughts on “Wedding Day!

  1. Hitch says:

    I like how you provide more content telling us you don’t have anything than many bloggers do on a good day.

    1. DGM says:

      The mark of a man who loves his craft, I guess. He really just can’t stop himself.

      Anyway, congrats to the couple.

    2. Alexander The 1st says:

      True. If this is Shamus’ idea of a “I’m sorry I haven’t got any content recently, just wanted to pop in and say something, then not add any content for a while” post…

      Apparently Shamus can write a blog post about anything. :p

      ~~~~~~

      Also, originally replied here to say I found the idea that someone named “Hitch” posted first on a post about getting hitched funny. <_<

  2. Nyctef says:

    “I haven't got a lick of writing done.” LIAR :P

    Anyway, great to read and hope all goes well for them :)

    1. Jakale says:

      It’s a relative lick.

      Anyone else think for the first paragraph or two that Shamus had skipped over a large portion of his life for some inexplicable reason?

      1. X2-Eliah says:

        Yeah, exactly this. First thought was …waaaait – did I miss a few entries or something?

        P.s. Get Mumbles to write some clever stuff about something on here.

        1. Cyranor says:

          I agree I’d love to see some stuff from Mumbles on here.

          1. Harry says:

            Thirded!

            1. MrWhales says:

              Seventeenth! Also, tell her sorry that I haven’t been to her site in a bit.

      2. asterismW says:

        Oh yes. I was wondering how we went suddenly from grade school to wedding day. But then I checked the title and noticed it wasn’t part of the Autoblography series. And then I actually read the post, and discovered it wasn’t about Shamus’ wedding day at all.

        1. M the Cheddar Monk says:

          Kinda like when sheand Ruts traded websites for a post.

  3. Maldeus says:

    “I don’t have any writing for you guys. Also, here is ten paragraphs of writing.” You’re like the opposite of those guys who promise updates in an incessant deluge of one-liner posts with ever-growing gaps between dates, until finally they stop altogether and the internet reclaims its own.

    1. tengokujin says:

      Scott Ransoomair?
      (www.vgcats.com)

      1. Maldeus says:

        Oh, bugger, yes, definitely. The VGCats guy is Shamus’ double from the mirror universe.

    2. MrWhales says:

      Someone who talks about my past attempts at blogs is on this site.

  4. noahpocalypse says:

    ^This.

    I thought this was more Autoblography, just several chapters ahead of where it should be. Gratz to them, hope you had fun.

  5. Mephane says:

    This post fully makes up for whatever short-term lack of content arises from that weekend. Cheers.

  6. therandombear says:

    “The men were dapper, the women were lovey”

    Lovey? :>

    yes, Shamus. No writing done at all over these past weeks weighing up if you missed a day of blogging…autobloggerphy or whatever we settled on calling it :p

  7. BeamSplashX says:

    Is Heather wearing a beret? And is an artist?

    Phew! I thought that had fallen out of vogue, which would give me no reason to pursue the arts anymore.

    Cute writings, Shamus. Send some leftovers to North Carolina for me.

    1. Mari says:

      Heather has TIMELESS fashion sense but you’ll rarely find it in other artistic circles.

      1. Mari– timeless fashion sense? That made me giggle.

        Beam– yes, from fall on I am generally wearing a thrift-score handmade black leather beret. I do this not because I am an artist but because I found a brilliant black leather beret that I love to death. And just so you know? Artists wear berets (and usually fingerless gloves and a scarf) most of winter due to the lack of funds for you know…heat.

        1. BeamSplashX says:

          Hollywood told me artists wear berets 24/7/365. I should have noticed the ruse when I encountered zero berets as a film studies student.

          P.S. Is the “(Shamus’ wife)” bit still necessary? There are plenty of context clues for newer readers and everyone else should know who you are by now.

          1. Jarenth says:

            For sake of equality, I move Shamus changes his name to ‘Shamus (Heather’s husband)’.

            1. Aulayan says:

              I second this motion, All in Favour?

              1. BeamSplashX says:

                Call me Favour Fav. Motion thirded.

  8. Aelyn says:

    You know, I thought this was the next installment of your autobiography. I was all like… I think either Shamus skipped some years or I missed a flurry of posts over the weekend.

    1. Alexander The 1st says:

      Either that, or he got married while in High School.

      What? Arranged marriages happened all the time…in other cultures, I’ll grant, but maybe this is an alternate dimension Shamus (Who somehow uses the same password in both dimensions. Don’t tell me the odds!).

  9. SolkaTruesilver says:

    You know, maybe it’s just my youth and Quebecois culture talking, but I don’t understand why people are making such a big deal out of a wedding.

    For me, the BIG step is having children. The fact that you wed or not is.. well, a formality. But once you have children with this significant other, you can’t back away. If there is something that would worry me sick is on the news that my girlfriend becomes pregnant. (worry me in the sense of “Am I good ennough to do it?”)

    The worrying part isn’t that she’d want to marry… Am I making sense to anyone?

    1. Shamus says:

      I thought the same thing. I wanted Heather and I to just go to the courthouse, sign some papers, and get it over with. Why the ceremony? It’s expensive!

      But I understood once I got through it, and I’ve come to understand more fully over the years.

      For the most part, marriage IS having kids. You’re saying, “I will be having children with this person.” You’re making that commitment, and you’re making it BEFORE you’re neck-deep in the adventure of pregnancy. It lets you begin a family with planning and forethought instead of blundering randomness, which is exactly how teens and twenty-somethings WOULD do it if left to their own devices. After all, young people are famously impetuous and taken to momentary passions.

      * Starting and failing at marriage is worse (in terms of human misery and expense) than not starting at all, so there’s this hurdle at the beginning point to weed out the people who aren’t really serious or thinking ahead.
      * It says to the new couple, “See how ALL THESE PEOPLE showed up? Yeah. This is a big deal. More important than choosing your major or graduating from high school.”
      * Are you ready to stand in front of a group of a hundred people and profess your love for this person? Are you willing to make a VOW that you will remain with them for the rest of your LIFE? No? Then you might not be ready to begin a project of this magnitude.
      * It gives a sense of closure or completion to the parents. While you never stop thinking like a parent, this is a clear line when the kid leaves your house and begins one of their own. Much more so than just “moving out”. It’s like a boat-christening or a bridge opening. Years of work have brought them to this day, and here is where they can officially recognize that their work – for good or for ill – is done.

      Of course, there are people who are exceptions to the points above, and many marriages fail despite all of this, but in general it’s a pretty good custom for encouraging healthy behavior.

      1. Tizzy says:

        It is interesting to see that even when couples have been together for a long time, and have a small, low-key ceremony, it still leads to incredibly emotional moments. (Actually, probably more than in overwrought ceremonies: more room for spontaneity!)

        1. MichaelG says:

          I was at a wedding a couple of years ago that was uniquely bad. The couple had thought they were married and in fact had three children together. Then they discovered the husband had botched the divorce from his previous wife and they weren’t legally married after all.

          So they had to do it again, with no ceremony and impatient kids wondering what this was all about. They just said “I do” and sighed, and then we went to lunch.

        2. Mari says:

          LOL Yeah, we had 12 people at our wedding so – not exactly “all these people” but it was pretty emotional. Especially when my processional (Canon in D on CD) lasted about two and a half minutes longer than my 10-step procession. Sooooo….we stood around uncomfortably waiting for the stupid music to end and eventually my best friend got the giggles, which gave me the giggles, which gave the groom the giggles and before you know it all 15 of us (add a bride, a groom, and a JP) are standing around giggling at the start of the wedding ceremony. Gave it all just the right note of sobriety to start a life on.

      2. Zak McKracken says:

        I agree on all of that, plus:
        I found it a really good thing to do to mark important events with a celebration. It somehow gives things significance… from paying a round of beer if your football team won a game through moving in/moving out(of town)/graduation parties that mark chapters in your life to throwing the party of a lifetime when you get married. It’s a way of marking the occasion, or whatever it is you celebrate, a gesture to show what something means to you.
        Of course we didn’t have a party when we started our relationship, so the wedding was the time to do just that, celebrate the relationship, and the party should be according to the value it holds for us, which is a huge lot (actually I regret not having invited more people)! For me, that’s one of the ways the whole wedding thing becomes meaningful in the first place. Wouldn’t see much use in just going somewhere, saying a word, signing a paper and going home again.
        I think if we hadn’t invited pretty much everyone we liked to our wedding , it’d somehow lessened the thing.

      3. Neil Roy says:

        My wife and I got married at the Justice of the Peace with my mother and her husband as witnesses. That was it. We wanted it simple and there wasn’t any church I liked that I would want to marry us. Plus our families well… I am not sure how that would have went.

        Anyhow, it is now over 29 years later and we’re still married, no children, sadly we could not have any (which bothers me a lot some days), but I agree, marriage is about joining with someone you care deeply about, and someone who is your best friend (this is very important) that you plan to have children with and carry on the human race, grow old together and watch the next generation grow up and know you made a contribution to this world etc…

        I don’t really see a big wedding as being all that important though, I feel it is more important that you see your partner as your best friend, not your property and you care so much about them you would die to protect them.

    2. ccesarano says:

      While you can be in a committed relationship for life, being married typically carries the weight of being permanent. You can’t just one day decide to leave…technically.

      Of course, people up and leave all the time, and since it isn’t taken too seriously there are annulments and divorces everywhere. However, for the few that you don’t hear about who have a delightful marriage, it can mean much more than that. It’s more than a dating relationship ever was. Plus, there ARE additional pressures now that each person is mutually responsible for the other, as they are one single unit now.

      I actually recommend this article to see one person’s perspective on it, and for the most part I agree.

    3. Alexander The 1st says:

      The problem lies in when your mother keeps saying she wants grandkids…like their crack to her or something.

      Marriage just turns that nagging into looped 8x faster constant hum from your parents’ house.

      And maybe it’s because marriage implies a stable setting for a child to be raised in.

      Also, it’s supposed to be the one “big day” of your life (You’re expected to only get one marriage, afterall – multiple pregnancies are par for the course.), so no pressure or anything. :p

      ~~~~

      Tangentally, you also could technically still leave a marriage with children…it’s just socially harder. :p

      ~~~~

    4. Tizzy says:

      For what it’s worth, the French culture is very similar, and in my experience it’s a pretty hard sell in the US… Also, because there is no material advantage to getting married in France: common-law marriages enjoy most of the rights and duties that official ones do.

    5. Raygereio says:

      You know, maybe it's just my youth and Quebecois culture talking, but I don't understand why people are making such a big deal out of a wedding.

      Well if American media is to be believed, then little girls are already planning their wedding from the age of 10 and it’s inconcievable for couples to be together without being married, so it’s apparently “a thing” over there.

      Over here in the Netherlands marriage over the years has lessened in importance. In part due to shifting religious views, but also since it stopped being necessary for the tax reductions. In my experience it only really comes up when people want to say to others (whether that be a deity or their friends & family) that they’re going to stay with eachother.

      1. Shamus says:

        That might have been true 30 years ago, but I doubt the US is very different from Europe at this point. Just based on my own observations, it’s actually VERY rare for 20-somethings to follow the traditions of Engagement » Big Wedding » Moving in together.

        1. Raygereio says:

          Wait a minute; surely you aren’t implying that I can’t trust the American entertainment industry to give me an accurate impression of American culture as a whole?

          Seriously though, I actually did thought it was still relatively standard in the US to follow that route. Guess that was wrong.

          1. Freykin says:

            I know this is anecdotal, but I’m a 20-something in the U.S., and I’ve lived with a girlfriend for over 3 years without marriage even really coming up as a topic.

          2. Mari says:

            To back up the anecdotal evidence, I’m a 30-something who got married at 19. We went the Moving in Together >> Engagement >> Getting Knocked Up >> Tiny Home Wedding route.

          3. Kacky Snorgle says:

            Depends on where you are in the U.S., apparently. In my particular pocket of it, one doesn’t really hear of departures from the Traditional Sequence much. The weddings do tend to be big (by crowd size, if not always by excessive expense), and they’re definitely preceded by engagements and followed by movings-in….

        2. Zak McKracken says:

          well, the order of “moving in together” and “Wedding” is usually reversed these days. But as far as I gather, an increasing numbers of teens sees marriage as a goal in life, in the last few years, in Germany.
          What’s more of a problem is the link between marriage and children. That’s weakened a lot, but I’ll stop going into that lest I stray into politics.

        3. Tizzy says:

          It is hard to compare with prior generations, maybe there is a decline everywhere, but weddings are definitely still a big thing in the South. Many couples get married, and often early (in their early twenties).

    6. X2-Eliah says:

      What about the Vegas-area one-night-impulse casino-based marriages, though?

      1. SolkaTruesilver says:

        This is a God-Given right, to be praised and celebrated.

        Better than a Vegas-area one-night-impulse casino-based impregnation, don’t you agree?

        1. Bryan says:

          But what about a Vegas-area one-night-impulse casino-based murder-everyone-in-sight spree?

          Yes, Reginald Cuftbert, I’m looking at *you*… :-P

          1. Destrustor says:

            Please don’t. Looking at Reginald Cuftbert is a dangerous game.

            1. Imposing Snail says:

              A grenade in your pocket says that NOT looking at Reginald Cuftbert is an even more dangerous game.

    7. Grescheks says:

      You know, maybe it's just my youth and Quebecois culture talking, but I don't understand why people are making such a big deal out of a wedding.

      For me, the BIG step is having children.

      Having a Quebecois (extended) family, I would say that’s actually a fairly common way of thinking, and not just because of your youth. Lots of couples in Quebec have children and don’t bother getting married because it shows just as large a commitment to the other person. Of course, this pisses my sister off to no end, since she wants to get married but her Quebecois boyfriend doesn’t :P.

      1. SolkaTruesilver says:

        If they get children together, I think it proves how big a commitment he wants, no?

    8. Squash says:

      It is human nature to create ceremony around things we think are important or significant: birth, death, weddings, the olympic games, whatever.

  10. Eärlindor says:

    Weddings? I love weddings! DRINKS ALL AROUND!!!

    But seriously, that’s fantastic, congratulations. :D

  11. delve says:

    Congratulations! Weddings are excruciatingly stressful; I’m happy this one turned out perfectly.

  12. “Joe is showing off his tie. We'd decided that the red vertical stripe looked kind of like the Tower of Sauron, so we spent the rest of the day teasing him about wearing the “Tie of Sauron”.”

    And right there in the back is some dude wearing the exact same red shirt/black tie. So…

    …y’know…

    The Two Ties.

    There, I said it! Moving on, I still think you look like Stephen Root.

    1. whitehelm says:

      I’m fairly certain the Tie of Sauron is the one being held up in the front. He’s not wearing a red shirt/black tie.

      1. Huh…true enough…even though I see no red stripe, hence my brain’s readjustment of the scenario. Oh well. Still, two guys with the same shirt getup so pun still stands.

        …and Shamus still looks like Stephen Root. :P

        1. Atarlost says:

          Actually, neither of the two towers were Barad Dur so the pun stands even better.

          They’re the two old Gondorean watch towers of Orthanc and Cirith Ungol about which much of the book’s action is centered, or possibly Orthanc and Minas Ithil or Minas Tirith and Minas Ithil, but if they were Minas Tirith and Barad Dur it would be the title of the third book not the second.

  13. Robyrt says:

    A wonderful post even with the caveat at the end. I know I sure can’t summon a blog post the day after a wedding.

  14. Destrustor says:

    Yes. That’s what I wanted: an actual recent picture of you. You had already said that you didn’t look like the images for your site anymore, but I always wanted to know just how much. Its nice to be able to put a face on “the guy who writes this stuff” and his cool wife.
    Also, best of luck and happiness to the newlyweds!

  15. Ateius says:

    I have to say, Shamus, you look positively dashing with that goatee. Roguish, even.

    1. Mom says:

      And, Shamus, you need to edit your “About the Author” feature regarding point two. Maybe even point one needs to be amended.

  16. Adam says:

    Is that photo of you all in the chapel looking at Joe’s tie a post-wedding picture of some sort, or did Eric just never dress up?

    1. Shamus says:

      That was just before the service.

      Yeah, this was a small, informal wedding, and Daniel even stressed to people that they didn’t need to dress up. Eric wasn’t underdressed, but a few others dressed a bit better than required.

    2. Mom says:

      deleted her own comment

  17. Ravens Cry says:

    We had craptacular weather yesterday and today.
    But if that means your brother could have a beautiful wedding, then so be it.
    Congratulations to you all, and best joy and hopes for their future together, may love light their way.
    So say we all.

  18. Herrsunk says:

    Congratulations to the couple! May your bickering be hardy and jovial.

    Shamus; are you trying to impose a metaphorical statement about towering over people with that last picture? Are you, after all these years, in fact a “This Tall”-guy brought to life?! I don’t know anything any more!

    Either way; I refuse to go back in line. That queue was deep.

  19. Zak McKracken says:

    Oh, and yeah, congratulations and all my best wishes for the couple from me, a random guy on the internet. But still.

  20. Jeff says:

    So how much did the kids whine about you posting their “undignified” asleep picture? :P

  21. swenson says:

    Aww. Glad their day went really well and that everybody had a good time! That’s how a wedding should be, family, friends, and having fun.

  22. Cuthalion says:

    Hooray! Congrats to them, even though I don’t know them.

  23. Spooky says:

    It seems to have been a lovely weekend, congratulations to the grooms.

    Like many said, there’s already plenty of content to go trough, no need to apologise.
    Oh, and Josh , get some rest to get better lad.

  24. Zaxares says:

    “they finally decided on a small ceremony consisting of the Groom's people, the Bride's people, and our D&D group.”

    … That’s exactly the wedding that MY friend had a year or so ago. :O (I was part of the D&D group.)

    My heartiest congratulations to Dan and Angela though! May the two of them know many years of joy, laughter and good memories. :)

  25. Jarenth says:

    Congratulations to the couple, as is Twenty Sided custom.

    Shamus, your direct family apparently just keeps on expanding. I mean, I knew about Patrick (he’s hard to miss), but in the last week or two you’ve revealed a little sister and a second younger brother. I’m wondering how deep the rabbit hole goes.

    1. Mom says:

      Anyone can count the number of seeds in an apple. Only God knows the number of apples in a seed. You know the full number of seeds.

  26. HeadHunter says:

    Congrats to the newlyweds!
    Glad you had great weather for the wedding – I’m just a bit south of you in Wexford and it rained off and on over the weekend.

    1. Mom says:

      There was a bit of rain just before the wedding. They say rain on your wedding day brings good fortune. Only those arriving early got a bit sprinkled- And the sun was out by the time we left the church.

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