XBox Live.com Lameness

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Feb 11, 2009

Filed under: Rants 46 comments

Here is the Xbox Live homepage as of right now in Firefox:

xbl_ff.jpg

And here is the same page in IE7:

xbl_ie.jpg

I first noticed this yesterday. That is just amazingly stupid and lame. Note that the entire live.xbox.com page acts this way. No matter what link I click on, it waits a fortnight or two and then comes back with “Page Unavailable”.

I can access the site using IE, although it still loads agonizingly slow. The only reason I wanted to bother is because:

  1. In Fable 2, there is a chest you encounter very early in the game that tells you to go to Fable 2.com to learn how to open it.
  2. Fable 2.com redirects to the XBL site.
  3. The XBL site doesn’t work with Firefox. (Version 3.0.5)
  4. Visiting the site with IE will get it to load, albeit with a load time measured in minutes.
  5. Once the page is loaded, there is nothing whatsoever about this chest, anywhere that I can see.
  6. Googling about reveals that opening the chest involves playing some Flash-based game on their site. Chicken kicker or somesuch. I no longer care about the damn chest, and am only enduring this to see how far down the rabbit hole this fool’s errand leads.
  7. Answer: This far. The chicken game doesn’t load, even using IE7. I just get a big old blank window. No prompt, no error.

The game has been out, what? Not quite fourth months yet?

It was foolish to build a URL into a game like that. The concept was hopelessly lame, even if it worked right. And it was pathetic how ineptly the whole thing crapped itself when I tried to check it out. There is a certain beauty in how completely and utterly they managed to fail at something so mundane.

Just out of curiosity: Can anyone confirm the Firebox / IE behavior I observed?

EDIT: Looks like I’m the only one with loading issues. Odd, since everything else loads with flawless alacrity, but you can’t argue with results.

Fine, their website isn’t completely screwed.

But putting a URL in a game is still a Bad Idea.

 


 

Mass Effect: Final Thoughts

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Feb 11, 2009

Filed under: Game Reviews 44 comments

I know I promised to wrap up my series on Mass Effect, and then left you hanging for a month. The truth is that every time I sat down to write this post I felt like I was just repeating myself. To wit: It’s a fun game. It has too much filler. Combat feels homogeneous. Setting is fantastic, marred only slightly by the “hawt chicks in space” thing the Asari bring to the table. Voice acting is flawless except for the male lead, who makes Stephen Hawking sound like Sir Ian McKellen.

One observation I will make:

Remember the part of the game where you encounter a group of people that seem a little off? They act strangely, but you can’t really tell what’s wrong at first. Then they eventually turn on you. You go underground beneath their home and find that they’ve fallen under the sway of a huge creature, who has been dominating them and transforming them for its own purposes. You kick its ass and break the spell, while fighting through waves of its formerly-human thralls.

Am I talking about the fight with the Thorian from Mass Effect, or the fight with the Mother in Jade Empire?

I think it’s interesting to see the same writer hitting the same themes in all of these different games. I think the Rakghouls (KOTOR) the cannibals (Jade Empire) and Thorian Creepers (Mass Effect) are all very clearly the result of the same writer re-mixing a few ideas that appeal to them.

Oh, and one more observation:

I think the morality system is a vast improvement over previous titles. Most games have a single good / evil slider, which moves up and down based on your actions in the game. This introduces oddities like murdering a guy for a dollar is morally neutral when balanced against being polite to ten people. Trying to calibrate the thing in a way that makes sense gets to be an impossible task.

But Mass Effect doesn’t do good vs. evil, but paragon vs. renegade. In both, the game more or less assumes you’ve humanities’s best interests at heart, and the alignment system is much more about how you pursue those ends. This isn’t a story about a ruthless jerk who happens to save the galaxy on her way to riches, it’s the story of someone who saves the galaxy but who might be ruthless about how she goes about it.

The game has counters for both paragon and renegade actions, and these counters only go up. These means that instead of a slider we get a matrix:

morality_matrix.jpg

People with low values for both are probably players who are just hammering the “skip” button in dialog. But people with high values for both are people who have been ruthless at some points and have gone out of their way to show mercy in others. This probably means they’re pursuing some agenda. (“Humans first” is a popular attitude.)

This is a very welcome step forward in a genre which has been rife with “save kitten / eat kitten” decisions for years.

Okay, I guess I did have some things to say about Mass Effect after all. In the end, I’m a lot more curious about Dragon Age than Mass Effect 2. I know in the past I’ve said I’m sick to death of medieval fantasy and crave more sci-fi RPGs. Perhaps I am a charlatan and a fraud.

 


 

Fable: The Good Parts

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Feb 10, 2009

Filed under: Game Reviews 36 comments

This part is (mostly) spoiler-free. You should be able to read it even if you had to abstain from the earlier posts.

If you skipped the earlier posts for fear of spoilers, then I will point out that Fable 2 won an award.
If you skipped the earlier posts for fear of spoilers, then I will point out that Fable 2 won an award.
So I’ve just spent four posts and seven thousand words excoriating the plot of Fable 2. It probably sounds like I hated the game, but the truth is I spent more time with Fable 2 than I did with Mass Effect. While comparing the story in Mass Effect to the story of Fable 2 is like comparing 2001: A Space Odyssey to the BJ and the Bear fanfiction Uwe Boll wrote in high school, the truth is that Fable 2 held my interest for longer because it had more gameplay and less filler. Yes, the plot is awful, but it’s also not a very large portion of the time you spend with the game.

There is a lot to do between plot points, and when it comes time to endure a little plot in order to open up the next playground you can comfort yourself with the fact that you can hold down a button to skip most of the dialog. I realize this sounds like heresy coming from a “story is king” gamer like myself, and I’m as surprised as anyone to find myself liking the thing.

I often talk about games having lots of “activities”. MMO games in particular. Fable 2 has many activities, and while a few of them exist for their own sake, most are interconnected in ways that lead you naturally from one activity to another. Doing trade runs leads to buying better clothing which leads to being more attractive which leads to flirting with villagers which leads to rounding up more expressions and emotes to use which leads to romance which leads to getting married which leads to buying a house which leads to getting involved in real estate which leads to redecorating houses to alter the local property values and economy which leads back to trading… etc. This is a playground with a lot of fun toys.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Fable: The Good Parts”

 


 

Stolen Pixels #63: Terribly Mysterious

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Feb 10, 2009

Filed under: Column 21 comments

Hey! It’s yet another comic about Fable 2!

(I’ve noticed that the total number of comments over at The Escapist doesn’t really change that much if I leave the comments open on this side. It seems there are some who are glad to take the conversation over there, and some who never will. So, I’m leaving comments open. I dislike splitting the conversation in two like this, but it’s better than blocking half of it off.)

 


 

Fable 2 Part 4: The Goldun Riter!

By Shamus Posted Monday Feb 9, 2009

Filed under: Retrospectives 65 comments

Here is the final stroke on the dead horse that is the plot of Fable 2. You might want to read part 3 if you missed that.

The usual spoiler warnings apply.

Oh, it is such a bother being as incredibly awesome as I am.
Oh, it is such a bother being as incredibly awesome as I am.
You and world-class jerk Reaver make your way through the winding secret passages under his mansion. Along the way he brags about past evils he’s done, the people he’s murdered for a laugh, and the debauchery he’s engaged in. He’s hundreds and hundreds of years old, having renewed his life over the years at the cost of countless innocents.

Lucian’s men make it down into the tunnels, and Reaver is cavalier about mowing them down with his ‘leet marksmanship. Oh, I have to kill waves of men using my fabulous skills. How droll. Aren’t I awesome?

Reaver is the classic GMPC. The author-insertion character who is smarter, wittier, and better than everyone else. Here is someone you may hate, but the designer won’t let you kill their precious avatar. Instead, you have to follow him around and do what he tells you. While you wade in and fight the bad guys he gets to stand back, look cool, and get all the snappy one-liners.

As a bonus, Reaver talks down to you constantly, demeaning you and insulting you even as you fight to protect him. And since you can’t speak, you can’t respond in kind.

Once again: Lucian wants this Reaver guy alive. Theresa has never explained why we need him. He’s given you three reasons to kill him now and is obviously a massive liability. There is no justification for not immolating him and walking away. This was by far the most frustrating part of the game for me, as I “fell” for his stupid schemes by designer fiat.

I actually wouldn’t object to a character this annoying, as long as:
1) You get to settle up with him in the end.
2) He doesn’t kill the momentum of the game by overshadowing the main villain.

So it’s a double fail for Reaver, although if he’d been a regular mid-game villain instead of a mandatory albatross of an ally he could have been a lot of fun.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Fable 2 Part 4: The Goldun Riter!”

 


 

Stardock to Open Second Games Studio

By Shamus Posted Monday Feb 9, 2009

Filed under: Video Games 27 comments

While everyone else is laying off developers, Stardock is opening a second games studio and hiring a bunch of new people. In Michigan. To develop an RPG.

I am really, really curious about the RPG part. In the past the company has developed strategy games and left the pirate-attracting action and RPG market to others. I wonder what brought about the change.? Is it Impulse, their new content delivery platform? Is someone looking at the existing collection of RPG titles and seeing a market segment that’s not being adequately filled?

Sadly, we’re probably ages away from finding out more. The press release is short on details and so it’s obviously an effort to build up buzz. They just need to attract some unwitting dupes who will begin speculating and clamoring for more news.

Ah crap.

 


 

Experienced Points: Everyone’s Favorite Crutch

By Shamus Posted Friday Feb 6, 2009

Filed under: Game Design 53 comments

My article on quick time events is up at the Escapist.

This will be a weekly feature.

I am excited.