T w e n t y S i d e d
Some people have strongly-held beliefs on this whole Kirk vs. Picard business. Perhaps this will settle things…
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Also, I apologize.
Wrex.
Well, lookie what I found during a Google Image search!
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It’s impossible for me to imagine this face having some other voice besides the voice of Commander Shepard. But of course, in reality that voice belongs to another face:
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Reality is confusing. And disappointing.
Experienced Points: MAXIMUM COLOR
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There’s this scene in Star Trek: Voyager, where the character Neelix realizes that his era of usefulness has come to an end. He was guiding the crew through a section of space, but eventually they reached the edge of his knowledge. Going ahead, he didn’t know any more than they did. (The fact that he was an annoying idiot regardless of his navigational knowledge was not discussed.) I think I have reached the same point.
Up until Half-Life 2, and even as recently as Fallout 3, I would have technological insights on the games that I played. I could spot walls that had been placed, not for the sake of the gameplay, but to cull unwanted details from the scene and give the computer a break. I could identify and explain visual glitches, artifacts, misaligned textures, and other problems. My years of 3D modeling and coding gave me an unusual perspective on what games were showing us. But my knowledge has stagnated in the last five years while the industry has charged forward, and I have almost no understanding of today’s engines and how they do what they do. For me, the Cry Engine 3 is now indistinguishable from magic.
I can still comment on the game from an artistic standpoint, though.
Stolen Pixels #247: Her Price is Right
Yes, Stolen Pixels returns! I’ve decided to kick things off with a news story from… last week!
I know some people were looking forward to the rest of my comics on New Vegas, so let me say a bit more about that…
I only had one more joke written, and I’d planned to write more as the series ran. Of course, that was months ago. I haven’t touched New Vegas since then, which means I no longer have funny things to say about it. If you’re that curious, here is the other joke I had written:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Stolen Pixels #247: Her Price is Right”
Spoiler Warning: Railroad to Nowhere
It’s Spoiler Warning as you’ve never seen it before: In glorious 1D!
Link (YouTube) |
Truly, one is the loneliest dimension.
This was unplanned. We’d already recorded our April Fool’s Day show. It was in the bag. Then I started telling the crew about Trainz 2010: Engineer’s Edition. Everyone insisted that we record another show for April Fool’s, featuring this game.
I want to be clear that while this game is hilariously bad, it’s not as bad as it looks…
Point: The game is not as slow as you see here. Normally, it runs at a nice 50 frames a second on my machine.
Counterpoint: Okay, that’s the same framerate that I get from Crysis 2, which looks about six graphics generations better.
Point: But still, the game is smoother than you see here. The extreme low framerate was an artifact of recording.
Counterpoint: Other games don’t have this problem.
Point: I made no effort to educate myself on the game. I just jumped in and started pushing buttons. The results would be not all that different if you tried the same thing with a flight simulator.
Counterpoint: Flight simulators involve travel in more than one dimension.
Point: It’s probably not fair to pick on games like this one which have niche appeal.
Counterpoint: It’s not fair to allege that this game has “appeal”, niche or not.
Point: Okay, you got me there.
Atari Basic
This week’s episode of Extra Credits contained a mind-blowing blast from the past. This:
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I would say I saw this image for the first time at some point in 1979 or 1980, which would have made me 8 or 9. I remember it so vividly because this image is what made me want to learn to program. Or rather, it made me aware that such a thing could be done. Way back in one of my oldest posts, I said:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Atari Basic”
Xbox LIVE Arcade
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So apparently there’s this thing happening on the Xbox LIVE Arcade. That’s the marketplace where you can buy casual and indie games for your Xbox. The marketplace has a customer-driven rating system, as online marketplaces do. Apparently, the fans of some games are voting down all other games so that their treasured titles can rise to the top. That’s a serious problem. Something like that can make a hash out of the whole system, rendering the scores useless to prospective customers. It could lead to a fanboy-driven flamewar like we see in certain corners of March Mayhem. Only here, instead of irritated fans you wind up with reluctant customers and lowered sales, which directly affects people trying to earn a living. I feel bad that Microsoft has a mess like this on their hands, and…
Hang on a second:
Many of the developers in the App Hub forum have been talking about ways to improve the system, but the biggest problem seems to be that users don’t have to play the game they are rating, or even own an Xbox. Changing that policy might go a long way to reducing this kind of manipulation.
Really Microsoft? XBLA is seven years old. What possible excuse could you have for missing such a glaringly obvious and easily implemented feature? Have you not been in the software business very long? Are you new to the internet? Are you not getting the funding you need? Are you unfamiliar with your own userbase of defective hatetrash?
How did you think this would turn out?
I would laugh at your misfortune, but it’s indie developers that are being hurt by your willful incompetence.
From The Archives:
Project Button Masher
I teach myself music composition by imitating the style of various videogame soundtracks. How did it turn out? Listen for yourself.
A Telltale Autopsy
What lessons can we learn from the abrupt demise of this once-impressive games studio?
Batman: Arkham Origins
A breakdown of how this game faltered when the franchise was given to a different studio.
The Disappointment Engine
No Man's Sky is a game seemingly engineered to create a cycle of anticipation and disappointment.
Rage 2
The game was a dud, and I'm convinced a big part of that is due to the way the game leaned into its story. Its terrible, cringe-inducing story.
Internet News is All Wrong
Why is internet news so bad, why do people prefer celebrity fluff, and how could it be made better?
Shamus Plays LOTRO
As someone who loves Tolkein lore and despises silly MMO quests, this game left me deeply conflicted.
Silent Hill 2 Plot Analysis
A long-form analysis on one of the greatest horror games ever made.
Seven Springs
The true story of three strange days in 1989, when the last months of my adolescence ran out and the first few sparks of adulthood appeared.
Marvel's Civil War
Team Cap or Team Iron Man? More importantly, what basis would you use for making that decision?