T w e n t y S i d e d

I have a MySpace page. I don’t know why. There has never been a day in my life where I woke up and said, “Dang, but I really need to find me some people to hook up with and interact with socially!” I’ve already got a blog where I can write and discuss my hobbies. So even if I was craving high levels of poorly spelled gossipy chatter, MySpace would still be a sub-optimal way of getting it.

Legit, you say? Well then, sign me right up!

About the only reason I visit my page is to reject all the spam friend invites. They usually come in waves. I’ll have three days of nothing, then three invites in one day. That’s not actually that bad as far as spam goes when compared to blogs or email, but maybe I’d be worse off if I had more friends. Invariably these spams lead to a profile with some basic text I’ve read a thousand times before, posted by a “woman” with a very porny glamour shot for her profile picture. The most common profile text goes something along the lines of, “MySpace won’t let me post naked pictures of myself so you’ll have to go here.” I don’t click on the link, of course, but I’m sure it’s a generic Porn nexus or a place to try and infect unprotected machines.

But I find this to be hilarious anyway: The fiction of some girl who can’t figure out where on this wide internet can you go to share naked pictures of young women? Yes! If only there was a website out there in this purient wasteland that let you do this sort of thing.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “MySpams”

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.