Stolen Pixels #252: Tutorialized

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Apr 20, 2011

Filed under: Column 178 comments

splash_homefront2.jpg

Here is a bit about the tutorial in Homefront. It really is illuminating to compare Homefront to Portal 2. Completely unfair and mean, but illuminating. It’s like comparing Waterworld to Avatar, only moreso. In both cases you have big budget production values and big budget marketing. Lack of success can only be attributed to a failure of artistry.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Stolen Pixels #252: Tutorialized”

 


 

Portal 2

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Apr 19, 2011

Filed under: Game Reviews 219 comments

splash_portal2.jpg

So, I just finished Portal 2. I’m not going to say anything about the content of the game. Don’t let anyone spoil it for you. If someone tries to tell you about the game – about any part of it – you should spin-kick them right in their face and run away with your ears covered in case they utter spoilers on their way to the floor. This applies even if the person in question is your mother, a member of the clergy, or a small child. Don’t pull your punches. I mean Kicks. Don’t pull your kicks. Well, kick, actually, I guess. Because there’s just the one. Anyway. Spin kick. Remember that.

The game was about eight hours long for me. It might be longer if you play it in sensible doses and don’t ingest the entire experience in a single all-night bender. Honesty, I can’t remember the last time I did that. The original Portal was a triumph, but Portal 2 exceeds its predecessor in every way possible. The puzzles are more diverse. The environments are fantastic, exciting, and varied. The dialog is funnier and the story more engaging. It has been said that I love to nitpick games. Maybe. But I have no nitpicks for Portal 2. At all. I can’t think of a single flaw or shortcoming in this game. (I’d fault the game for being too short and for perhaps not having enough challenging puzzles, but I haven’t even touched the multiplayer yet, and I’m sure there’s more than eight hours of brain-busters in there.)

 


 

Two Worlds II

By Shamus Posted Sunday Apr 17, 2011

Filed under: Game Reviews 163 comments

twii0.jpg

Hey, I’ve got a review copy of Two Worlds II here. I didn’t play the first one, so this is a good chance to take a look at this series and see what it’s all about. Let me just start up a new game here…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Two Worlds II”

 


 

Stolen Pixels #251: Everyone Else is Wrong

By Shamus Posted Friday Apr 15, 2011

Filed under: Column 127 comments

splash_homefront.jpg

So, I’ve played a little Homefront.

I really do hate to hold up Half-Life 2 as the Alpha and Omega of shooters. I know not all games need to be Half-Life. In fact, having too many Half-Life knock-offs would be just as bad as too many Call of Duty knock-offs. But Half-Life 2 has so many important lessons that these other games need to learn.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Stolen Pixels #251: Everyone Else is Wrong”

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E8: Caesar’s (Tenaciously Boring) Legion

By Shamus Posted Friday Apr 15, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 187 comments


Link (YouTube)

I’ll just concede now: Rutskarn won this episode.

I’d forgotten what things were like in these sandbox games. In Mass Effect or BioShock, you could generally count on the plot moving forward during any given episode. But here in the Nevada sandbox, it’s possible to burn through twenty minutes and not accomplish a dang thing, plot-wise.

And of course, Josh is really rushing through here. I know in my games I’m much more thorough about looting and selling as much as I can. Josh leaves a lot of corpses un-looted, and when he does loot them he leaves heavy items behind. On top of this, he isn’t going inside of each and every building and scaving for treasure. I think I spent an hour in Nipton on my last play-through. If you’ve never played this game, just imagine this episode four times in a row before moving on to the next one.

It’s more fun than it sounds.

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E7: You May Already Be a Winner

By Shamus Posted Thursday Apr 14, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 311 comments


Link (YouTube)

The encounter with the man and woman shooting each other is an interesting one. Playing on the general do-gooder tendencies of the average player, the designers have her pleading for help. I’m not sure how, but it seems to be random which one of them wins the fight. Sometimes she’s dead before you reach them. Sometimes their fight goes on and on. Sometimes she wins. Rutskarn was complaining about the fact that you lose karma for killing him, when it’s very likely that a first-time player will attack the guy in a misguided attempt to thwart injustice.

Part of the problem is that I’m not sure what the designers mean by “karma”. Is it a measure of the bad you’ve done, even when you mean no harm? Like, accidentally running over a dog gives a person “negative karma”, even though it was an accident. Or is it just a re-branded version of Ye Olde Slider of Morality?

Is the winner of the fight determined by combat rolls? I don’t think so. Their fight goes on for a long time, and usually the winner has a good bit of health left. Over that many dice rolls, we should not see wildly different outcomes.

About the lottery winner: He’s a powder ganger, which means he’s with the group of murderous escaped convicts who have been raiding and making trouble in the region. If you talk to another survivor in Nipton, you’ll find out that the Powder Gangers were here as part of a kidnapping, ransom, and robbery plot. Their plans went sideways when the Legion rolled into town and started beheading and crucifying everyone. The legion held a lottery. The “lucky losers” were beheaded. Then most of the rest of the town was crucified. A few more were burned alive on tires. Then the second-place winner had his legs crippled, and the first-place winner was set free. The fact that a Powder Ganger won the lottery was just one final cruelty in a long list of injustices.

But the truth is, I kill the lottery winner because he’s the first guy you meet with eyeglasses, and I always take the “Four Eyes” perk. So… I don’t have a lot of moral high ground.

 


 

Spoiler Warning S5E6: Bonnet Get!

By Mumbles Posted Wednesday Apr 13, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 192 comments


Link (YouTube)

Yeah, yeah. We got the bonnet.

I feel like one of the boys should be making this post since they are soooo much more concerned about clothing than I am. I spend about five minutes tops on the character creation screen and even less time caring what my character is wearing. Meanwhile, the Spoiler Warning boys spend like twenty minutes on average making their character look pretty from the get-go. Just imagine Josh holding two bonnets up in a mirror saying, “This one? Or thiisss one?” for six hours and you have a good idea of what playing Guild Wars with him is like.

 


 
From The Archives: