DM of the Rings VII:
Let’s go Shopping!

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Sep 20, 2006

Filed under: DM of the Rings 38 comments

Lord of the Rings, Rivendell, Rivendale, Frodo, Gandalf, Dumbledore

Remember, nothing will spice up your campaign quicker than long descriptions of NPC’s doing spectacular stuff while the players sit around and watch.


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38 thoughts on “DM of the Rings VII:
Let’s go Shopping!

  1. Scott says:

    Just wanted to say I’m enjoying reading these. They make a nice break from work. Thanks.

    1. Sarah says:

      Don’t forget to mention they’re really funny! :D

  2. MOM says:

    much mbetter:)

  3. BeckoningChasm says:

    As I said before, they get funnier and funnier. When you’ve gone through all three movies, you should publish a PDF of all the episodes.

  4. Heather says:

    I love these things. It almost makes me want to have the group playing again. Almost. :)

  5. Chris says:

    Great stuff–I think I’ve run this game…

  6. phadraigin says:

    you made me pee myself laughing. at work. curse you, hi-larious stranger!


  7. JenRyu says:

    I am pretty sure I’ve run this game my self… And in my worlds… This is made worse by the creater being Highly disorganized, confused, and way too easily amused…

  8. Xanatos says:

    >.>…Wasn’t Arwen the one who summoned the water horse stampede…?

    1. Feanor says:

      Nnnrgh… Arwen wasn’t there, Glordfindel was, neither one of them could have done it, Elrond caused the flood, Gandalf made it look like horses to taunt the Nazgul.

  9. Shamus says:

    Xanatos: In the book, the water was the work of Gandalf and Elrond.

  10. Nicki-Joe says:

    Dumbledore…that’s hilarious!
    You’re so funny!

  11. strike71 says:

    Shamus: Yet the DM decided to allow Haldir to reinforce Helm’s deep, which he did not do in the books. The DM is just picking and choosing from the movies that which supports his satirical story-line best, and apparently Peter Jackson’s Arwen did not back up whatever point the DM is trying to make (I’m guessing the DM either dislikes the movie Arwen entirely and has excised her for that reason, or he likes her too much to make fun of her).

    My whole family (parents and 9 and 11 yo daughters) are enjoying this series immensely! Being ongoing RPG enthusiasts, we can’t wait to see how it all wraps up. Nice work! Your screen capture choices are priceless.

    1. ImThisObiWanKid says:

      But Haldir just makes everything more epic and sad. I cry sometimes.

      1. Aldowyn says:

        Except for the fact that everyone watching it is like “wait, isn’t that the guy from the forest place? But this guy is from Rivendell? I’M CONFUSED!”

        I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more egregious example of re-using actors in the same movie… certainly not one like this!

        1. Feanor says:

          Yeah, having Haldir show up at Helm’s Deep was one of the decisions that made least sense to me. It undermines the sense that this battle is the last hope for Men in the world. (Minas Tirith doesn’t get to be Last Hope because they’re rotting away anyway, ala Byzantine Empire. Rohan is England with horses.) And in addition to that, Haldir couldn’t have come because he was preparing Lothlorien’s defenses. You didn’t really think Sauron would just leave them alone? Nope, on the day the Ring was destroyed, there were attacks from Dol Guldur on Lothlorien, Rivendell, and Dale/Erebor.

  12. EazyOne says:

    God I love this strip, D&D at its finest, and worst….

  13. Filcha says:

    I was just LOLing for real here at work while reading this! It is great. I have sent the link to my son.

    Fabulous work Shamus!

  14. Karl says:

    I have had to stop for a minute, I was just laughing so much. After I have wiped the tears I will continue.
    I have played with guys like this……

  15. astat says:

    never played any p&p, but finding all this hilarious. :)

    1. ImThisObiWanKid says:

      thats D&D
      sorry i correct ppl all the time its just a nit picky bad habit i have

  16. astat says:

    never played any p&p, but finding all this hilarious. :)

  17. Dorjan says:

    heheh, I am a current DM and half the guys are so like this xD

  18. Allen says:

    Good luck with your blog)

  19. Anon says:

    Weren’t they saved by the elf chick though? Couldn’t the ranger be trying to screw her, like you know… was actually going on?

    1. dr pepper says:

      Only in the movie. The screenwriters wanted to have the female characters do a bit more.

  20. jenina says:

    this is HILARIOUS!

  21. Legolas says:

    in the book, wasn’t it Gandalf and that one random elf that took them to Rivendell? not Elrond?
    idk i havent read the books in awhile

  22. K says:

    DUMBLEDORE!!! Hahaha, that was great! I just heard about this from a friend of mine, and I love them! Awesome work, Shamus!

  23. Dark Waffle says:

    First, Great stuff! Very funny, especially since I have played withese guys or their clones
    Second, Peter Jackson wanted to cut down on the number of charaters to keep up with so they dropped Glorfindel at the bridge. Good call actually, since JRR was kind of ambiguous as to who Glorfindel was… But apparently it means “crazy badass” in elvish because the first mention of the name is some blonde who is top popping balrogs in the Simarillion, and the second is another blonde dude who “can openly ride against the nine” Wow! good credentials… The Arawen choice is a pretty good one since it strengthens her character and gives Liv a chance to party with the ponies…
    Third, it has always seemed to me that the DM was setting up a bunch of noobs but one guy who had played before was being trouble, to wit:
    DM: Dude, just take one of the characters I created and play! Like uh… the dwarf or the human fighter…
    PC: Man, I wanna play my 34th level mage, I never get to play him…*pout*
    DM: *sigh* Look I don’t have time to fight about this, bring your freakin’ ‘Gandalf’ character then you baby… But every time you cast anything more powerful than a cantrip you lose 10K experience! Got it?
    PC:sure, what ev’s… Just put in at least ONE decent encounter for him at some point, ok?
    DM: Arrrgh…. FINE!
    PC: um…?
    DM: What?!
    PC: I still have that sword I got in the last campaign… Can I still use it?
    DM: Jeez Louise… sure, fine, whatever… can we just get going?!

    1. Feanor says:

      The thing is, those two times when the name shows up? It’s the same guy. Glorfindel is a frickin’ awesome High Elf. He’s pretty much a Good equivalent to the Nazguls, along with Gandalf. Sauron doesn’t get all the superpowers.

      And BTW, Glorfindel means ‘Golden Haired’. XD

  24. Sherry Crossley says:

    Awesome!! Thanks for posting!

  25. This is a hilarious series for people who are into Dungeons and Dragons and Lord of the Rings a lot!

    Deus Ex Machima is one of things that normally scares the players. Gaming philosophy suggests players like being accountable for their own actions and not be driven by outside forces. That’s how video games work.

  26. Again, love the satire of Deus Ex Machima!

  27. Ghoulglum says:

    The Dumbledore joke still cracks me up.

  28. Dancer says:

    Font strikes again
    It’s not Dumbledore, it’s G and Alf … Gesundheit

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