DMotR Deleted Scenes 2:
Original Lothlorien Strip

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Sep 12, 2007

Filed under: DM of the Rings 35 comments

My original plan for DMotR was to just run a few strips. I had a small story arc planned, which was going to end in Amon Hen somewhere around strip 25 or so. I actually had all 25 done by the time I had strip 14 up. At this point I realized I wanted to keep making them, but my story was “finished”. So, I started inserting strips into the original arc. I eventually doubled the number of strips they spent in Moria. After that I added several strips in Lothlorien, which they skipped in my original arc. Finally I scrapped my original ending for the series and decided to tackle all three movies.

Below is the strip where they skipped Lothlorien. You might notice that I actually cut this joke up and recycled bits of it elsewhere. I had a blurb to go with this comic about how players always skip the most detailed stuff you’ve prepared and head for the blank areas of the map. I held onto that blurb for another 80 strips – about half a year – before I managed to work it in at the end of strip 100.

You are SKIPPING Lothlorien?!?


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35 thoughts on “DMotR Deleted Scenes 2:
Original Lothlorien Strip

  1. jperk31260 says:

    I like the way you ending up doing it but this would have been funny especially when the DM went on and on about how much time he spent making Lothlorian. LOL

  2. roxysteve says:

    Skipping Lothlorien? Heeheehee!

    I once played in an SPI “War in Europe” simulation (cardboard counters, a wall full of maps and a rule book you could use for a coffee table) in which the German player refused to do Operation Sealion or the Battle of Britain. It was a moment of high theater for the rest of us as the British player objected. The British cannot really rejoin the war effectively until the BoB happens in that sim, ‘cos they can’t get lend-lease or something (I forget now).

    General Anjum: You’re losing victory points every turn!

    Reichsmarschall Clive: Don’t care! Die of boredom, Tommy pigdog!

    General Anjum: Attack damn you!

    Reichsmarschall Clive: Never!


  3. Deagol says:

    Not that it matters, but “Serenity” is misspelled in the first panel.

    Thanks for all the good times, Shamus. This comic has been a highlight for me three times a week for a long time. If you ever decide to continue with a different movie spoof, I’ll be there! : )

  4. Alan says:

    Deleted Scenes – a classic finish for a classic comic. I’m pretty bummed that work blocks your newest venture. Now I’m actually going to have to explain to my wife what I’m laughing about, which is tougher than my co-workers.

  5. Hal says:

    Oh, the DM has an easy solution in this one.

    DM: “Did I mention the elves have loot to distribute?”

    Aragorn: “Hm . . . on second thought, I think we ought to enjoy this place of rest and whatever.”

    Sam: “Serenity now!”

    Gimli: “Treasure now, serenity later.”

  6. roxysteve says:

    I was going over some of the classic (my opinion only of course) gags and I still think Hoom hoom welcome to Isengard is best of breed, though the ironically-related walking stick episode is a close second.

    Inspired stuff. I’m looking forward to such briliance in the new strip.


  7. DamoJO says:

    Deleted scenes? cool, when does the extended directors cut version come out.
    Stealing the boats was priceless, my attitude to loot being “if it isnt nailed down grab it, if it is nailed down get the claw hammer out”

  8. pdwalker says:

    It’s an excellent strip

  9. Browncoat says:

    @ Hal (#5)

    With apologies for the presumption and the bad pun, I see that conversation running slightly differently.

    DM: “Did I mention the elves have loot to distribute?”

    Aragorn: “Hm . . . on second thought, I think we ought to enjoy this place of rest and whatever.”

    Sam: “Serenity now!”

    Gimli: “Treasure now, serenity later.”

    Leggy-Lass: “Treasure now, Firefly later, Serenity last.”

    (Gosh, I miss my Firefly DVDs I was foolish enough to lend to someone who lives *nowhere* near me. sigh. I’m a giver. Well, a lender.)

    Shamus, funny strip. What was published orginally was funnier, but it’s nice to see how it could have gone. One of my favorite lines is still Frank’s read on the elves: “Welcome Noble Champions. Feel free to sleep on our dirt. Here are some pointy sticks.”

    Good times.

  10. Susano says:

    Well, I have to admit, “Behold, boats” and “Lembas wafers” makes me crack up everytime.

  11. mocking bird says:

    (Continuing Hal’s point)

    Gimli – Her treasure is her hair? I’ll give her some hair (reaching for belt buckle)

    Aragorn – So the treasure was some dirt, dry wafers wrapped in leaves with a vial of water too small quench a gnats thirst, and matching outfits? Yippee. Now we can form a dance team. ‘Warriors….come out and plaaaaay!’

    So, I go up to Glatiator.

    DM – Galadriel.

    Aragorn – Whatever, Gladiator did sound funny. So anyway, your hubbie isn’t around so why don’t you and me uh…

    (Insert vision of Galdrien with the ring ‘All will look upon me and despair!!!!’)

    Aragorn – Riiiiight. Your ‘friend’ is in town. See you in a few days???

    But the real question is – will the extended edition of DMotR be longer than PJ’s???

  12. Tonko says:

    XD short and sweet. Very funny. I’m so glad you’re posting these.

  13. mighty llama of doom! says:

    I have been reading since comic… 50-ish and loved almost every one. Im already hooked on Chainmail Bikini (Deuse Baaj did it for me) cant wait for more!

  14. Dave says:

    Roxysteve.. thanks for your comment #2.. maybe you could start a cartoon for us about board games.. lol.. classic.

  15. Davesnot says:

    oops.. I forgot.. I’m not Dave.. I’m Davesnot.. I’m on “vacation” at another computer.. I forgot who I was!

    Shamus.. where do we get a copy of the D-cubed rulebook?

  16. You know, this might have been a really funny point to draw a comparison between LoTR and the Lewis and Clark expedition. This occurred to me because when I visited the L&C fort in Oregon a couple years ago, I saw a book entitled, get this, “Only One Man Died” (it was about the medicine they used on their journey). Strangely, this also applies to the party from LotR. Go figure. :D

  17. Nogard says:

    Shamus, you continue to crack me up day after (every other) day.

    Is this going to turn into a full blown extended release? ^_^

  18. Not Davesnot says:

    I’m so confused.

  19. phobos says:


    That actually sounds like an excellent strategy. Ignore the British completely, don’t waste any resources there at all, and then commit *everything* to Operation Barbarossa.

    If the US can be kept out of the war then it’ll be a long while before post-Dunkirk Britain is a serious threat. Plenty of time to bring about the downfall of Zionist-inspired Bolshevik terrorism and establish Greater Germania. Mop up the island monkeys later.

  20. Jem says:

    I feel so sad, is this really the end?

  21. Pete says:

    :’-( don’t let this be the end… im gonna die without this! Well, just a little… THIS HAVE BEEN SO COOL!

  22. roxysteve says:

    phobos Says:
    That actually sounds like an excellent strategy. Ignore the British completely, don't waste any resources there at all, and then commit *everything* to Operation Barbarossa.

    If the US can be kept out of the war then it'll be a long while before post-Dunkirk Britain is a serious threat. Plenty of time to bring about the downfall of Zionist-inspired Bolshevik terrorism and establish Greater Germania. Mop up the island monkeys later

    And that’s pretty much what happened.

    Game turn 3 or thereabouts: Reichsmashall Clive nips over the German-Soviet border for some borscht and in a sustained bout of Hunnish agression ravages the stacks of Russian counters carefully stuck to the map with poster-tac days before by Premier Steve.

    Game turn 3-and-a-bit: Premier Steve (no relation, I was a neutral observer in this one) refuses to play any more thereby crippling the Peoples Strategic Defensive Soviet and bringing an immediate halt to WWII in a welter of whingeing and acrimonious back-biting. Then some of Japan’s counters came unstuck while we were down the pub and everybody sort of lost interest.

    But if you want a game that causes real arguments, you can’t do much better than Junta. I’ve played in several games of that one in which people actually had to be physically restrained and separated. The rules of the pocket game Panzer Pranks refer to this as the Two Fisted Combat Resolution System.


  23. Rico says:

    Check it out! Boats! :)

  24. Scarlet Knight says:

    You know, in D&D, stealing is a rather vague concept. Thieves do it, but all the other character simply “acquire” items from people they’ve often just killed. But, hey, archelology is simply grave robbing with good PR…

  25. C David Dent says:

    I have a friend who constantly tried to get us to play Junta…trying to ignore that he nearly destroyed the group in a single turn of playing it once before.

    We started calling him “Hunky” (Junky) until he quit.

  26. Arthur says:

    Dude, you can’t flirt with us like this. What was the original ending? Did the Star Wars rebellion end up finishing off the campaign in the first draft?

  27. okay! says:

    Shamus, I have a suggestion for a final installment (yes, I need to let go): How about a pic of the supposed real life players from the campaign? I’ll bet you can drum up the right people to represent Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, etc., maybe some in full LARPware, some definitely not. Or you could photoshop something. D&D players can be notorious for looking nothing like their characters, or exactly like their characters. There will be pizzas, and there will be sodas.

    You have to be the DM, of course. In a silly hat.

    Kind of like a final bow to the audience.

    For the 100th time, great strip and I have appreciated it immensely!

  28. Scarlet Knight says:

    okay! Says: “I'll bet you can drum up the right people to represent Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, etc.”

    I bet they look alot like the players in “Chainmail Bikini”…

  29. roxysteve says:

    [C David Dent] Nonononono. No.

    Junta is an excellent game. Highly recommended. Five Stars out of Four and all that.

    It just causes fights, is all.

    But let’s not bicker and argue about who jumped over the table and attampted to strangle who.


  30. roxysteve says:

    [Scarlet Knight] I think Shamus should do this, but pull a “Metroid” when it comes to the DM.


  31. Aragorn says:

    is there anything in this site thats not funny? im gonna spend all day reading this!

    lol funny…

  32. Oleyo says:

    I am glad you showed us this. The “yeah, I’m thinking…skip it” is priceless, since we know there is a whole part of the story here. In the end we got more jokes though. Nice work, and yeah…I just got around to finishing these. Still funny though, so I had to comment. BTW I LOVED the lop-sided all Aragorn ending, and the dissapointment of the other players. Nice work, belatedly :)

  33. Ragar says:

    They could’ve sold them the boats, but then they would’ve had to steal it anyway since the only loot they got was worth -5 gold

    1. James Harrison will taste Manflesh says:

      Maybe they started out with gold in their inventories. If they did, they’d still have it, since they didn’t stay in the Prancing Pony long enough to finish an ale, and they haven’t been near any shops since then.

      Failing that, there’s always bartering.

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