DMotR Special 4:
Let’s Go Crazy

By Shamus Posted Friday Aug 24, 2007

Filed under: DM of the Rings 135 comments

Today is my birthday. I’m skipping regular DMotR. There is a reason for this.

Denethor, you are one crazy steward.

The first pic is not a photoshop. I was stepping through the movie looking for suitable screencaps, and this frame just jumped out at me. Gandalf just rode by these guys, but here is this moment where it looks like he stopped to drop a few coppers on the doorward.

The second shot is a notorious moment from the movies, where aging Denethor jumps up, runs upstairs, and then sprints the length of a football field while on fire.

 


From The Archives:
 

135 thoughts on “DMotR Special 4:
Let’s Go Crazy

  1. Nikle says:

    Great stuff, enjoy your birthday!

  2. Silversmith says:

    Happy Birthday. Brilliant finds.

  3. Isoyami says:

    Happy Birthday!

    The Gandalf shot was a great find… I want to go look for it myself now. :D

  4. AmazingUrre says:

    Happy Birthday!
    DM of the Ring is great, i love it.
    These jokes are overwhelming.

  5. Wraithshadow says:

    For what it may be worth, he did have on a very heavy cloak. Like, exceedingly heavy. Double layer of hide armor heavy.

  6. jperk31260 says:

    Happy Birtday

    Is today your Eleventy first birthday by any chance?

    Anyway happy birthday.

  7. elda says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAMUS!

    awsome screencaps as usual.

  8. Bill says:

    Happy Birthday! And thanks for the great website!

  9. Jochi says:

    Yes, have a happy birthday, enjoy your family, and thanks for the humor above.

    We’ll just wait over here arguing about old literature. I think I’ll try to get something hot and heavy started over “The Prince” today …

  10. Griffhell says:

    Ha, this one made me laugh! Happy birthday dude!

  11. Griffhell says:

    Ha! This one made me laugh. Happy birthday dude!

  12. bobo-con-queso says:

    happy birthday sir,and thanks again for this great comic.another winner. p.s. whoo-hoo 11th post or double first as i ike to think of it

  13. Tim says:

    Happy Birthday!

    And Denethor was the second-most fucked-over charakter in the movie adaptation, behind Gimli but close before Faramir. Only a butcher like Jackson with the grace, style and niveau of a spoiled 11-year-old could have turned a desperate, bitter but ultimately noble and great man into a despisable, stupid, spiteful wretch of a man with manners to shame an orc… *chokesonhisownrage*

  14. bobo-con-queso says:

    damn!!!!! i missed the 11th post

  15. Lyriel says:

    Happy Birthday! Thanks for such an entertaining read – I’ve been enioying them immensely.

  16. Sally says:

    Tim said: And Denethor was the second-most fucked-over charakter in the movie adaptation, behind Gimli but close before Faramir.

    Uhhh… have to disagree here. Can I get an Eomer, what what?

    Happy birthday, Shamus!

  17. M says:

    DM: Okay, the horse made his Knockdown check…you’re on your back.

    Denethor: Wait, wasn’t there a burning pyre right behind me? Ohhh…crap.

    DM: Oh yeah…*rolls* your cloak ignites!

    Denethor: CRAP! Okay, okay…no water…maybe there’s water outside! I’m gonna jump up off the pyre and head for the door!

    DM: While you’re on fire…? Okay, I guess you can try that. Make a Con check for half damage.

    Denethor: Hey, 20! Sweet!

    DM: …okay. You’re running…everyone else is too shocked by you running away while ignited…*rolls fire damage, dice all come up 1’s*

    Denethor: Am I outside?

    DM: Yes…and you’re on fire. There’s nothing there but the tree and a few startled guards.

    Denethor: CRAP again! *rolls Con check* hey, 18! Okay, okay…I’ll look for the quickest way down! They’ve got to have water down in the city proper.

    DM: The quickest way? …are you sure? *rolls fire damage, gets three 1’s and a 2* Stupid dice.

    Denethor: Yeah! I really don’t wanna be on fire anymore. Quickest way down it is!

    DM: …okay. In panic, you sprint to the edge of the cliff…and jump off.

    Denethor: HEY! What the-?

    DM: You fall down the hundreds of feet from the very peak of Gondor, the rush of air feeding the flames. Much too far a fall to conceivably survive, even if you WEREN’T an old man. And on fire.

    Denethor: Oh, come on! Don’t I at least get a Dex check?

    DM: …yeah, sure.

    Denethor: *rolls* Hahah, 20! Take that, DM!

    DM: Okay, okay…you manage land in a well. You’re not on fire anymore. Just squished.

  18. Caius says:

    Happy Birthday!

    The running bothered me too. If you can run that far to jump off the cliff, why can’t he run that far to a water fountain?

  19. George says:

    haha i konw a lot of birthdays today, its my girls birthday today too….

  20. Oh, I wish it were only the length of a football field. He actually runs the entire length of the city before plunging off that cliff.

    Sigh.

    Justin Alexander
    http://www.thealexandrian.net

  21. Vinchenze says:

    Happy birthday, if i’m late sorry if not… COOL!

  22. Invictus says:

    Feliz cumpleanos! Many happy returns, sir! Now, stop just sitting around claiming it’s your birthday and get back to the comic, dammit! ;) (Enjoy your break, dude. With the regular schedule you keep and the recent surgery, I believe a respite is due. Have a slice o’ cake for me!)

  23. Caveman says:

    Happy B-day, Hope you have many more!

  24. Scarlet Knight says:

    Many Happy Returns of the Day!

    I think it was Denethor who said on his birthday (while shaking the presents): “What I wouldn’t give for a holocaust cloak…”

  25. Lodrelhai says:

    Happy birthday!

    Have to say, a friend sent me a link to this on Wednesday and I’ve been reading through the archive every chance I get since. This is absolute gold! I’m only sorry to be coming in so late in the game.

    Enjoy your day, and many more of them to come!

  26. Ramplate says:

    happy birthday

  27. The Gneech says:

    Denethor: “Get me! I’m the beacon of Amon Dà®n! — Ohcraprailing!”

    -The Gneech

  28. Calalene says:

    Happy Birthday!

  29. Atanamir says:

    In the words of Richard Pryor, “When you run down the street and you’re on fire, folks will get out of your way.” Seriously, I hated the way they changed Denethor’s death in the movie. Especially since it was such a cool scene in the book, what with the revelation of the Palantir of Minas Anor and all. I’m also of the opinion that Denethor should have been played by Patrick Stewart.

  30. Arbaal says:

    Happy Birthday Shamus!

  31. Larch says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

    24 in august is the best date for a birthday since I have too :P

  32. Stev says:

    Happy birthday Shamus!
    I have been a huge fan of DMotR for a few months now and it’s just been a really fun ride thus far. I hope you have a good birthday and many more after.

  33. Osvaldo Mandias says:

    H. B.

  34. Aaron says:

    Happy B-day Shamus! I just celebrated my 5th Annual 29th B-day 12 days ago. Which annual 29th B-day are you on?

  35. Mattingly says:

    Gandalf: “Here’s an extra copper if you pick up the mess my horse just made.”

  36. roxysteve says:

    Yeah, the “Chariots of Fire” moment almost killed the movie for me too. I found myself wondering if they had to keep relighting him as he made his way to the prow of the cliff.

    Steve.

  37. Dannerman says:

    M; That was brilliant. +1 to you.

  38. Proteus says:

    Happy birthday & have a good one!

  39. Clyde says:

    Happy birthday, Shamus. I’ve been along for the ride almost since the beginning, when Steven Den Beste linked to DMotR from his blog last September (?). I must say, I’ve enjoyed your comics immensely and I’ll be kind of sad when this comes to an end.

  40. -Chipper says:

    I think you all misunderstood Jackson’s approach to the character in your rush to condemn his version of Denethor. He actually repented at the end there after he was knocked into the pyre, and realized that he just had moments left of his life, so he did the most he could for the war effort by jumping while flaming into the enemy. I think Jackson’s editing failed him there – they forgot to include the shot of Denethor landing with a smile in that group of surprised orcs.

  41. Aries says:

    YAY! congratulations, and many many happy returns…now have a beer, fall over, have a hanover and get back the the comic…i wanna see Aragorn smished

    ….just kidding, happy birthday and enjoy your day

  42. Little Gen says:

    Happy B-day tooo yooooou… no, not singing. Definitely not.

    Nice screencaps… you didn’t manage to see exactly what the toll was? XD

  43. Every time I see that scene, I always think, “Look, it’s Richard Pryor!”

  44. Vegedus says:

    I don’t blame him for running. It’s not like it’s the most logical action to stand still and burn while immense pain wallows over your senses.

  45. Naleem says:

    What the..? Today is my birthday too O_O I was really shocked when I checked your site today.

    Anyways, enjoy yours, and have fun ^^

  46. Maverick says:

    Dm: Ok, roll on the Age chart
    Shamus: *Rolls*
    Dm: Your now one year older, your birthday is today.
    Shmaus: Sweet! New armour and weapons off the teammates!
    Dm: *Rolls* A cake apears out of no-where.
    Shamus: I love dice on my Birthday.

    Happy birthday shamus, have a great one!

  47. bugsysservant says:

    Happy Birthday! May your first grandchild be a masculine one!
    Oh wait, that’s for weddings…
    (Identify the source for a cookie)

  48. ladylabyrinth says:

    bugsysservant: That’s an offer I can’t refuse ;)

  49. bugsysservant says:

    Yay!!! Cookies for all!!!

  50. GEBIV says:

    For a moment, I thought the second picture was Gandalf’s reaction to being told he didn’t have correct change…

  51. Dan says:

    Wow. I don’t think I ever seen as much witty criticism of a man’s immolation gathered in one location before.

  52. Wtrmute says:

    Happy birthday, Shamus. Thanks for sharing the caps; they’re awesome.

    I’d put an ASCII Art cake, but I forgot how to write the darned thing. Sorry…

  53. Tom says:

    Interestingly, there was a perfectly serviceable pool of water that he RAN RIGHT BY in his rush to fulfill Peter Jackson’s vision. They even mention how they purposely did some creative editing of his death scene. Otherwise it would’ve taken something like a full minute for him to reach that jump-off point. Could you imagine it? A full minute of on-screen burning screaming guy just running? That’s multiple breaths. And RIGHT BY THE POOL OF WATER.

    My least favorite Denethor scene was actually the intercut extreme close-ups of him eating his lunch while the battle at Osgiliath was raging. It was such a beautiful scene with Pippin’s song and all, but the shots of Denethor ripping apart his chicken wings or whatever thoroughly ruined it for me. I got naseous. It was disgusting. :’P

  54. Vermont Gal says:

    Hey! It’s my husband’s birthday too!

    Congrats!

    Here’s an extra “Fireball” spell for you!

  55. Tuccy says:

    Happy birthday and may you be as happy for the next year as I am every time I find a new comics here :)

  56. Rhapsody says:

    “Hey, I don’t see anything in the rules that says I can’t run while I’m on fire. And I rolled good, so…”

    And what’s my character’s birthday? And what are all the NPCs going to give me?

  57. Tsetut says:

    Happy Birthday Shamus. And good catches, the Gandalf one is funny, and I think we all agree on how ridiculous the “fire run” is. You mentioned it several times already, and it bears mentioning several more.

  58. Alex says:

    Happy birthday from all of us readers.
    I hope you have a great year and many more will follow.
    -Alex Varveri.

  59. Tsetut says:

    Although ironically, it would work in D&D. Assuming he ran 100 yards, he ran 300 feet. A human is speed 30 in D&D and can run 120 feet as a full round action, or 150 with the run feat. That means that Denethor takes 3d6 damage without run, or 2d6 with run, at an average of 10.5(11) and 7. Assuming he is an old fighter with the elite array, he has a constitution of 10. At 1st level he can survive with run, but will die without it, eventually. At 2nd level he should be fine.

    1. WJS says:

      Three objections;
      1. He ran far further than 100 yards. He wasn’t in the palace at the back of the spire, he was in the graveyard deep within/on the other side of the mountain.
      2. He wasn’t a fighter. A level 1 aristocrat would only have ~5 hp, down to 4 with a con penalty for age. If level 2, he would have twice that, of course.
      3. It would have taken several minutes minimum to reach the edge he threw himself off at the speed he was traveling. That’s over 20d6 damage, not 2d6.

  60. Evilschemer says:

    To be fair, Denethor WAS bat-shit crazy at the time.

  61. Da Rogue says:

    (hiss) It’s his birthday precious, and he wants it.
    Sshall we gives it to him? Filthy nasty little DM…

  62. Nathan says:

    Happy Birthday! :)

  63. Tormuse says:

    I don’t have a comment on the comic; I just wanted to say, Happy Birthday, Shamus! :D

    Keep up the good work! :)

  64. Tuck says:

    Tom wrote:
    “My least favorite Denethor scene was actually the intercut extreme close-ups of him eating his lunch while the battle at Osgiliath was raging. It was such a beautiful scene with Pippin's song and all, but the shots of Denethor ripping apart his chicken wings or whatever thoroughly ruined it for me. I got naseous. It was disgusting.”

    Ah, but did it not emphasise the movie Denethor’s character perfectly? A friend once surmised to me that Denethor and Theoden (in the books) are two sides of the same coin: both lost a son, but where Denethor despaired, Theoden turned hopeful. They really brought that part of Denethor out in the movies.

    The scene you describe is definitely one of the most memorable scenes, and probably my favourite from that third of the trilogy! :)

  65. Tuck says:

    “Evocative”. That was the word I was looking for.

    That scene is very evocative. ;)

  66. Matthias says:

    If this comic ever makes it to publication, I nominate comment 17 to be included. That is some funny stuff right there.

  67. Lycoris says:

    Happy birthday!!

  68. Jim says:

    Comment 17: best comment from a reader! Truly in the spirit of the comic!

  69. Happy birthday! And thank you for making and sharing this wonderful comic!

    (I remember when I first found it, reading through all the episodes put up with much merriment, and then thinking “oh no! now I have to wait days for each new episode!” Now I’m thinking “oh no! soon there won’t be any more new episodes to wait for!” Sometimes there’s no satisfying people :-)

    Again, thanks, and happy birthday!

  70. Attorney At Chaos says:

    Maverick says:
    Dm: Ok, roll on the Age chart
    Shamus: *Rolls*
    Dm: Your now one year older, your birthday is today.
    Shmaus: Sweet! New armour and weapons off the teammates!
    Dm: *Rolls* A cake apears out of no-where.
    Shamus: I love dice on my Birthday.

    I propose a slight revision. Instead of “A cake appears out of nowhere” it becomes “Elrond shows up and hands you a cake, saying ‘Here’s your cake.’ “

  71. gyfrmabrd says:

    I stumbled upon DMotR via some crazy metalinkage a couple of weeks back, immediately fell in love, read the archive in one big leery gulp, and since the check for updates more often than is humanely reasonable, and I just wanted to chime in with everybody in how excellent this comic is. I totally endorse the meta-humor in here, and I even LIKE D&D, beiing more of an SR person, but DMotR is just a very intelligent comic with a very clever premise, which is also brilliantly executed.
    Quality stuff, Mr. Young, thank you. And also, happy birthday, apparently.

  72. gyfrmabrd says:

    “and I even LIKE D&D”

    Shouldn’t post at 4am after a good night out to boozetown.
    It’s [i]don’t LIKE D&D[/i].

    Just not the stuff for me.

    /incoherent rambling.

  73. oldschoolGM says:

    Happy Birthday!

    And the even funnier thing is, if they had gotten the scale correct according to the books, Denethor would have had to run several miles to make that jump. At least I think so. If I remember correctly. I might not be. It’s Friday night and I’ve had a few in prep for going out to the bars. Anyway… yeah.. Happy birthday Shamus! I’ll have one in your name!

  74. fruitbane says:

    So Happy Birthday it is! But don’t feel bad about the gray hairs. I turned 30 a few days ago and I’ve had at least a couple gray hairs about for the past 5+ years.

  75. Luke (Thrythlind) says:

    My younger brother started going bald around 18 and was pretty much there by 20…

  76. Dave says:

    You’re older than you were before.. and now you’re even older.. and now your even older…. HFBD!

  77. Joe says:

    happy birthday. read from the start. silent as long. just playing my first few steps of d&d. love it. this strip makes more sense every time.

  78. Obfuscato says:

    Many Happy Returns!

    Watch out for falling stewards.

  79. Teria says:

    Happy birthday, Shamus!

  80. Aries says:

    omg can you just feel the love here shamus? feel the loyalty? ….feeling scared yet?

    heres to the next “DM of the” because at this point you just KNOW we aint going anywhere…

    The internet where we put the “fanatic” back in “fanboy”

  81. Uriel says:

    I’m probably late already, but happy birthday to thee, Shamus !

  82. Chadhulhu says:

    Happy belated Birthday, great strip btw. How I long for d20

  83. Angharad says:

    Wow…

    So, i’m an old hand at the reading of the DMotR. But i’ve been out of touch for a month or so. And, since i have a game on sunday and was thinking about it, i decided to come in and re-read some. So i started after i got home from the bar (2:30, for the non-drinkers amongst us), and here it is 6 am. For three and a half hours (i went back a ways) i have been sitting at the computer, giggling like a madwoman. Shamus, you put most webcomics to shame. Go you.

    Oh, and happy birthday.

    I LOVE DMOTR!!!!!!

  84. DiscountNinja says:

    Happy Birthday!

  85. Matis says:

    Feliz cumpleanos….me gusta tu comica.

  86. Valley says:

    Toll Guard: One copper please.
    Gandalf: I don’t carry coins. I’m a wizard.
    Toll Guard: Sorry, sir. No payment, no passing.
    Gandalf: Blast it!
    Pippin: Don’t look at me. I paid at the last gate.
    Gandalf: Look, I’m a friend of the returning King.
    Toll Guard: Riiiiight…

  87. Margaret says:

    You know, we were watching this the other day and I commented, “Denethor gets up while on fire, runs, runs, runs, runs, turns right, runs runs, turns right again, runs, runs, you get the picture, HOLY CRAP! AAAARGHH I’M FALLING!!!!”

  88. superfluousk says:

    Happy Birthday, Shamus! As a present, I gift you another wanky comment about Denethor!

    Seriously, though, running while on fire? Is not that unbelievable. It’s a natural panic response, and if it’s your upper half that’s on fire, your running muscles will keep working for quite a while. There’s a reason they have to *teach* people the stop, drop, & roll response to being on fire; natural panic response is to run about screaming and flailing and trying to beat out the flames.

    Whether he would have run all that distance in a straight line, or ignored the pool of water in his flight, is less likely, but cinematic. But seriously guys, don’t underestimate how irrational *being on fire* can make you.

    1. WJS says:

      Don’t underestimate how being on fire makes it impossible to breathe. And I do mean impossible. The fire uses up the air around you, and if you breathe in the fire it will instantly destroy your lungs. You’ll keel over from lack of air long before you’re fully burned through, which can indeed take several minutes.

  89. Rakel says:

    I can’t believe no-one said this before…

    * Grats on Ding *

    :)

  90. General Karthos says:

    Actually, isn’t 36 the age of accountability for a hobbit, like 18 is for humans? I seem to recall that being so, but I can’t actually go to the book, seeing as I don’t know where it is.

    Can someone confirm this for me?

  91. Ambidexter says:

    Happy birthday.

    BTW, I’d had the same thought about Denethor running around while on fire. “Make up your bloody mind, how do you want to die!”

  92. Dantekrad says:

    Happy Birthday!

    Cumpleaà±os Feliz!, te deseamos a ti!.

    I really enjoy this comic.
    you’re a master.

    Felicidades, espero que lo pases muy bien.

  93. M says:

    Re 91: I think it’s 33 that you’re thinking of. From 33-50 or so is “young adult”, though, sort of like human 20’s nowadays.

  94. alogen says:

    Woot..! Happy birthday! :)

  95. Doug Williams says:

    I always wonder when I see the movie why Denethor didn’t drop his heavy fur coat when it started burning, and then roll around a little instead of running. I mean, didn’t he learn as a kid to “Stop, Drop, and Roll” like the rest of us. There’s a similar scene in the film “Branded to Kill” where some idiot does the 100 yard dash while aflame.

    Sure, Denethor was covered in oil, and still would have been badly burned, but sheesh…

  96. Tola says:

    I mean, didn't he learn as a kid to “Stop, Drop, and Roll” like the rest of us.

    Actually, he likely wouldn’t have. That’s a very recent thing. It’s not like being set on fire is common, even now.

    What I do like is that he gets a LITTLE closure. He saw his son was ALIVE, before the end.

  97. tafka says:

    Happy Birthday sweetie!

  98. Happy Birthday by the way man. Keep on rockin and rollin.

  99. Vanima says:

    I stumbled onto this comic last night and have just now caught up. I swear I haven’t laughed this hard at a comic in a long time. I bet my upstairs neighbors thought I had lost my mind. I’ll be sad to see it end but it will have been worth the read. And who knows maybe you’ll have something sneaky up your sleeve. Keep up all the great work.

  100. Meems says:

    Happy birthday, mate!

  101. Phlodur says:

    Happy Birthday Shamus!!

    and another great comic..

  102. Deadpool says:

    Thanks for such great work, Shamus. Happy birthday!

  103. standgale says:

    hee hee – I like these little single frames too. Gives you the chance for a quick joke you might not be able to work in otherwise – and there’s no way I want to be missing out on good jokes! I’ve been reading this for ages, and appreciate it immensely.

    Happy birthday, hope it’s a good one :)

  104. Raved Thrad says:

    Happy Birthday! Long live Shamus and DMoTR!

  105. Mejo says:

    Happy Birthday!

    1)Denethor’s refusal to call for aid from Gondor or Rohan yet another inexplicable alteration to the plot.

    What are the anyone else in any authority in Minas Tirith doing? Denethor had to have army commanders and domestic advisors, you can’t run a city/army without them. And if you’re one of the the city’s commanders, you’re clearly about to be invaded by a superiour force, and your C-in-C refuses to call for any reinforcements, but instead sends his troops on a defend-the-impossible mission, that’s the point you decide your C-in-C has gone batshit crazy and you need a new commander. In the book the city is surrounded and in the middle of a battle before Denethor cracks completely.

    2)Cinematically, the horrible Denethor meal scene intercut with the battle at Osgiliath made a lot of sense. Unfortunately it’s part of the whole “Denethor is a batshit crazy idiot who enjoys eating from a horse-trough while sending his son to his death” plot change, which I didn’t like.

    3) Miranda Otto is way hotter than Cate Blanchett, who is hotter than Liv Tyler. But I just don’t go for the whole pointy ear thing.

    4) Obvious choice for next film/d20 game – we move to Dave’s group who have started playing the Star Wars trilogy. Four hobbit characters become: DM, Luke, R2D2, C3PO (I can just imagine the complaints of the guy who gets R2D2…) with Obi Wan as the high level NPC. When this group turn up, they get to be Han, Chewbacca, Leia, and Lando as a late arrival.

    5) Now, about sun-tzu….

  106. Chris says:

    Um, Gandalf is reaching to take the spear from the guard, so that he can whack Denethor with it.

    1. WJS says:

      His own stick having just been exploded by the Witch-King. Sure he has a sword, but you just can’t be a wizard without a stick.

  107. Tony says:

    I don’t see the problem. Gandalf has obviously cast some sort of resist fire spell on Denethor to try and save him. When Denethor realises that the fire just won’t cut it, he moves on to plan B. Or maybe its that ring or resist fire he had all these years and had forgotten about.

  108. Me says:

    >The second shot is a notorious moment from the movies, where aging Denethor jumps up, runs upstairs, and then sprints the length of a football field while on fire.

    It seemed he was running a half marathon whilst on fire. Even funnier is everyone else just standing there and watching him.

    Callous bastards.

    1. WJS says:

      Are you going to try to touch the guy who’s on fire?

  109. Joran says:

    You rock Shamus!

    Happy b-day, and keep the good stuff coming :D

  110. Medium Dave says:

    You must be a hobbit, because you gave us this on your birthday!

  111. Yensid the Sorceror says:

    Happy birthday?
    What is your age in Roman Numerals?
    :-)

  112. Lukelightning says:

    The Denethor situation shows the problem with suicide in D&D. He’s a high-level character, so the 1d6/round damage from being on fire will take a long time to do him in. So he decides to add in the 20d6 damage for falling.

    1. WJS says:

      High level? He’s most likely a level 1 aristocrat. Maybe level 2. Even Aragorn is only level 5ish.

  113. -Chipper says:

    Being well past Friday, I have to wish you a very merry UNbirthday – hey! Today is MY unbirthday too!

  114. txknight says:

    Happy Belated Birthday Shamus!

  115. Colin says:

    Happy Birthday… pimp!

  116. John Wright says:

    A death as sad and solemn as the passing of Socrates, and as tragic in its quiet yet moving dignity!

    Burning Denethor, last Steward of Gondor, sprints while yodeling all through the citadel of the White Tower of Ecthalion, and plunges down the cliff, a ragged torch of screaming.

    From that sad day, the Men of the West still call this cliff, Philmosuxitatum, after the Adunic Tongue, which means: this film sucketh.

    In the High Elvish, the cliff is called Laurelalindruin, which means, I was laughing so hard it totally broke my suspension of disbelief. In Sindarin: Morgulyaletur, which means, after this point in the film, I was rooting for the Dark Lord, and wishing the doofus characters would all die (who had NOTHING in common with the beloved characters in the beloved books).

    In their secret tongue, the Dwarves called this leap: Zazbek-Zura-Balthzakhor-Filmsuxxizmor, which means, if you think this scene sucks like a lemon in explosive decompression, just wait until the scene where Sam is ordered by Frodo to leave him along in the Black Land with Gollum.

    Woe unto the Free peoples of the West. Jackson, the Mouth of Sauron, just made them look stoopid.

  117. superfluousk says:

    #118: *applause*

  118. Cynder says:

    Very funny!! It’s amazing what funny stuff you can find if you just go though a film fame by frame. Hope you had a good birthday by the way (I know it’s a bit late, but hey… :P

  119. Aragorn says:

    happy B day!!!

  120. TainInfernus says:

    Sry, just have to mention this, and I didn’t read any of the comments. Gandalf is taking a spear from the guard at the moment to knock Denethor on his ass. Still, great screencap.

  121. Tatooine92 says:

    Two words to explain Denethor: Asbestos. Diapers.

  122. jubuttib says:

    Reminds me of Dr. McNinja. They can’t catch you if you’re on fire!

  123. redwall_hp says:

    You forgot to put Smeagol saying “It’s my birthday…” :)

  124. Dukemax says:

    …Am i the only one who thought “boatmurdered anyone?”

  125. yadayadayada says:

    so, are you eleventy-one today???? sorry, couldnt resist even tho there are like 4 comments that say some variation of that.

  126. Nacata says:

    Happy Birthday!!!! :)

  127. Daniel B says:

    I keep hearing how Denethor was ultimately noble in the book. No, he tried to be, but he was a stupid selfish jackass in the book too.

  128. Kanerou says:

    Yeah, it was too bad what they did to Denethor. His lying down on the pyre and choosing to burn in the book was awesome and incredibly creepy.

Thanks for joining the discussion. Be nice, don't post angry, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be fun. Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked*

You can enclose spoilers in <strike> tags like so:
<strike>Darth Vader is Luke's father!</strike>

You can make things italics like this:
Can you imagine having Darth Vader as your <i>father</i>?

You can make things bold like this:
I'm <b>very</b> glad Darth Vader isn't my father.

You can make links like this:
I'm reading about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader">Darth Vader</a> on Wikipedia!

You can quote someone like this:
Darth Vader said <blockquote>Luke, I am your father.</blockquote>

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *