T w e n t y S i d e d
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Continue reading ⟩⟩ “DM of the Rings LXIII:
Overly Requited Love”
DM of the Rings LXIII:
Overly Requited Love
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “DM of the Rings LXIII:
Overly Requited Love”
DM of the Rings LXIII:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “DM of the Rings LXIII:
Overly Requited Love”
New ESRB Ratings
I actually found the parody ESRB sticker from yesterday to be kind of amusing. I found myself thinking about what other sorts of things I’d like to be warned about before I bought a game:
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It took a great deal of self-restraint to keep from giving Steam its very own label. No doubt I’ve overlooked your favorite villian. For the do-it-your-selfers out there:
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The standard Windows font “Impact” works well for the text on the left, while the stuff on the right looks good in plain ‘ol Arial. I didn’t go to any great lengths to mimic the real thing, but it looks passable to my eye.
The Plot-Driven Door
Some readers have noted my obsessive, even Kahn-like vendetta against Neverwinter Nights 2. During my brief moments of lucidity I have come to realize that the game has driven me quite mad, and that I am likely to go on ranting about it for some time. I’m comfortable in this madness, although out of affection for the many fine people who visit this site I do suggest you back slowly away from this post before I even get started. However, if you have appetite for a tirade, then perhaps the following will slake your inexplicable craving…
Most videogames in the RPG genre have plot-driven doors. You know, a locked door which may be made of wood and 100 years old, but which is indestructable, un-pickable, and un-openable until some plotpoint takes place. Some games are better about this than others, but it’s a necessity of the medium.
Players tolerate plot-doors to different degrees, mostly depending on the strength of the writing. Some games are really eager to abuse this, and use plot-doors in lieu of coherent writing. Let me bring up the most foul example of a plot-driven door. This one:
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Let me tell you about this door…
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “The Plot-Driven Door”
Cheat Codes
Here is something that I’ve noticed:
The availability of useful cheat codes in any given game is inversely proportional to the likelihood that you will need them.
A game which has clear objectives and allows the player to explore the gameworld freely and save anytime they like is going to have lots of cheat codes. These cheat codes range from bestowing a preposterously large arsenal to the simple yet effective “god mode” – the videogame trump card which renders all enemy arguments mute.
A game that gives you vague objectives that can only be fully understood by making repeated attempts, which makes the player race against the clock, or which forbids saving except at select intervals, this will have no cheats to aid the player in overcoming or bypassing the inherent frustrations of the game. If there are cheat codes, they will be for things like giving your character a humorously large head, or making them wear a funny hat.
I don’t know why this is. The more DIAS the game is, the more likely that there will be no cheat codes. Console games are by far the worst offenders, although guilty parties can be found on both sides of the PC / Console divide. I’ve played many games which were brutal, unforgiving, and which offered the frustrated player no recourse but to surrender hours of their time playing the same scene over and over again until they meet with the game’s exacting standards. They can either slave away in this state of non-entertainment, or they can give up and leave the remainder of the game unplayed.
The ESRB is so eager to let me know if the game will torment my ears with bad words, or if my eyes might be scalded by the sight of boobies, but they never tell me what I really want to know: They never warn me that I need to pick up an extra controller or mouse while I’m buying the game, to replace the one I’m inevitably going to smash.
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DM of the Rings: Only 2 This Week
I only made 2 strips this weekend. However, I hasten to add that both strips are quite hefty. One is double size, and the other is the very first triple-sized strip. To preserve the symmetry mandated by the obsessive-compulsive disorder I’m cultivating, I’ll post them on Tues & Thurs this week.
Every weekend I sit down on Saturday morning and think, “This is it. I really am out of ideas this time. I’ll never think of anything good.” I’ll then cobble together some strips, and wince. Are these funny? Am I losing it? Then I’ll post them, lots of people will like them, and at least one person will say they have a new favorite. None of this prevents me from going through the same thing the next Saturday.
I wonder if other webcomic authors go through this?
DM of the Rings LXII:
Everything But the Girl
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“Plot” is what the DM does to amuse himself when the players aren’t talking.
Mass Effect
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However, if other previous trends continue, then in three years Obsidian will come out with Mass Effect 2, a game which will trap you on a spaceship with a crew of dysfunctional morons and sociopaths who all hate you yet still call you their captain for no discernable reason. The gameplay will consist of navigating dialog trees which insult or infuriate you in various ways, for sixty hours, until your ship at last crashes into the sun and the game ends.
From The Archives:
Tenpenny Tower
Bethesda felt the need to jam a morality system into Fallout 3, and they blew it. Good and evil make no sense and the moral compass points sideways.
Raytracing
Raytracing is coming. Slowly. Eventually. What is it and what will it mean for game development?
Punishing The Internet for Sharing
Why make millions on your video game when you could be making HUNDREDS on frivolous copyright claims?
Object-Disoriented Programming
C++ is a wonderful language for making horrible code.
Overused Words in Game Titles
I scoured the Steam database to figure out what words were the most commonly used in game titles.
Another PC Golden Age?
Is it real? Is PC gaming returning to its former glory? Sort of. It's complicated.
Quakecon 2011 Keynote Annotated
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
Lost Laughs in Leisure Suit Larry
Why was this classic adventure game so funny in the 80's, and why did it stop being funny?
Batman: Arkham City
A look back at one of my favorite games. The gameplay was stellar, but the underlying story was clumsy and oddly constructed.
Marvel's Civil War
Team Cap or Team Iron Man? More importantly, what basis would you use for making that decision?