Hey, Garry Newman

By Shamus Posted Sunday Aug 30, 2009

Filed under: Rants 29 comments

Hey Garry. Five days ago you put out an update to Garry’s Mod to add achievements. This update broke the save system. I tried to post the following comment on your blog:

FYI: As of the update, saving is completely broken for a large number of people. As in, any attempt to save the game (menu, quicksave, autosave) will instantly crash GM.

http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=799934

But that was caught in the moderation trap. I also left out an important detail: It kills the file you’re saving to in the process. There is a thread at facepunch, and couple more in the Steam forums, and several people claim to have sent in crash reports, and there are lots of people waiting to hear something, but you have yet to post anywhere that you’re even aware of the problems.

It’s been four or five days and for a lot of people, (like me) the software is broken and useless. Re-installing will just re-install this same broken version. It’s impossible to roll back to a previous one. We’re stuck until you fix it and we don’t even know if you’re working on it yet.

If you’re gonna fire updates from the hip without testing, that’s cool. But then keep your eyes open for a problem like this and be ready to deal with it. Either that or playtest it until you’ve worked out the big game-killing bugs. But pushing an update that breaks the software and then wandering off for five days without checking on things or acknowledging the bug is infuriating. This is commercial software now. You got my money, and I got trashed save game files and a couple of hours of my time down the drain trying to troubleshoot a problem that turned out to be not on my end. I’ll bet there are thousands of people out there who are wasting their weekends un-installing recent mods, thinking one of those is the cause. A public announcement would go a long way to reducing the ambient level of rage over this mess until you can sort it.

In conclusion, please do something.

Aside: I really, really hope Valve institutes a “beta” system, where updates go out to a minority of people who opt in for them, and if those people don’t report any problems it can then be released to the wider community. This is not the first time Steam auto-patching has killed something with no recourse for the end user.

Head. Hit. Keyboard.

 


 

Hammer Rant

By Shamus Posted Sunday Aug 30, 2009

Filed under: Video Games 38 comments

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve been mucking about with Hammer, the Valve level editor. Doing so provides an interesting peek inside of Valve studios. When Daikatana came out in 2000, there was a joke about how the game was polished, but mired in the previous technological generation and old design philosophy. It went something like, “Diakatana: Best 1997 game released in 2000.” Well, Hammer is my favorite level editor of 1999.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Hammer Rant”

 


 

Guitar Hero + Rubik’s Cube x 2 = Hard

By Shamus Posted Saturday Aug 29, 2009

Filed under: Movies 37 comments

There are things which are easy, and then there are things which are decidedly not easy:


Link (YouTube)

I would classify this as the latter.

 


 

Experienced Points: Online Activation Is a Ripoff

By Shamus Posted Friday Aug 28, 2009

Filed under: Column 58 comments

An entire column dedicated to making the case that online activation is a Bad Idea as a form of DRM. I had to give my boilerplate “Steam is not the same as simple activation”, because if I didn’t do that it would instantly hijack the conversation and we’d be arguing over Steam the whole time. I mentioned that their system of auto-patching is pretty nice. Far better than Googling around, looking for a patch, trying to figure out if I have it, or need another one before this one, or if I need a special one for my region, and then shuffling off to FilePlanet and downloading 50MB worth of ads while waiting in line for my 5MB patch.

Of course, as soon as I wrote that the auto-patch system came back to bite me, and an update to Garry’s mod broke the software. Since I had no idea there WAS an update, I wasted a lot of time trying to fix what I thought was a problem on my end. And because of the way the system works, there is no way to return to the previous version. My software is dead, and I just have to wait for someone else to fix it. Grr.

You can turn off auto-patching on a per-game basis, although it’s on for all games by default. Some games need auto-patching. You need to keep Team Fortress 2 up to date, or you can’t play online. But single player games don’t have that problem. I probably need to go through all my games and set policies for each to keep this from happening.

Man, I hope Garry gets it fixed soon.

 


 

Stolen Pixels #120: Her Scandalous Past

By Shamus Posted Friday Aug 28, 2009

Filed under: Column 37 comments

As promised, Breen has Zoey on the show and interviews her. The result is here.

I apologize for the overkill light-bloom. It is really, really, hard to get new textures into the game and to figure out what they will look like when they show up. I simply didn’t have time to tweak it and tone down the background. I do plan on fixing that when I can.

I pretty much went crazy with Hammer, the level editor used to make stuff for Valve games. It turns out that Hammer is a hole into which you can dump an unlimited amount of time. I started out just experimenting with the thing, and wound up with a full-blown project on my hands. Here is what Studio 17 looks like now:

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Stolen Pixels #120: Her Scandalous Past”

 


 

The Path: Carmen

By Shamus Posted Thursday Aug 27, 2009

Filed under: Game Reviews 85 comments

I’m starting with Carmen because hers is one of the clearest stories. The imagery in her tale is very telling, and we can use it as a benchmark against the other tales when trying to figure out what they may mean. Here is her bio from the website:

Seventeen. A glorious age for a girl. Having left her childhood body behind, she enjoys parading the new Carmen. She is fully aware of the heads that turn when she passes by. She’ll give them a little bit extra to look at too. A shake of the hips. A wink of the eye. But no more. Carmen fancies herself a femme fatale perhaps. But inside she knows that all she wants is a little bit of attention. From a warm and handsome man, perhaps. Who can keep her safe. Hold her tight. With a strength that approaches violence. He doesn’t need to be as wild as she is, but it wouldn’t hurt.

Eugh. I know this girl. She drove me nuts in high school. These are the unbelievably hot girls who would find the biggest, strongest, best-looking complete jerk they could get their hands on, and then endlessly whine about how “men are such pigs”. They would usually aim these complaints at other girlfriends or at guys like me, thus insulting her boyfriend (for being a jerk) herself (for dating him) her friends (for dating men, who are all pigs) and me. (Because evidently I didn’t count as a man, since I wasn’t included in the “pig count”.) Thoughtless and short-sighted.

This is the kind of girl who would flirt with men to drive them crazy, and who would delight if they fought over her. Selfish to the core, she didn’t actually care about the men in question, and was thrilled with the way their violence made her feel valuable. Endlessly shallow, frustrating, and self-destructive, these girls did not do well beyond high school. A few leveled out. A lot had deeply dysfunctional relationships either because they constantly craved attention (which isn’t actually all that healthy to simply want men to PAY ATTENTION to you all the time, whether you are in a relationship with them or not) or because of their terrible taste in men. I was angry at them at seventeen. I feel sorry for them at thirty-seven. Carmen is an ultimately tragic figure.

Carmen’s Wolf

Her wolf is the classic forester, the supposed hero of the Red Riding hood story. Carmen comes upon his camp, drinks beer with him, fade to black. Because of my knowledge of the tale, I at first assumed she was raped. But after going over it several times in my mind, I’m convinced this is not the case.

Note that Carmen enters the camp and is completely ignored by the forester. He does not leer. He does not offer her any of his beer. He doesn’t do anything to make her feel welcome. He keeps working. But Carmen helps herself. She flirts with him, swiping his hat and putting it on herself. Again, he seems to take this in stride and doesn’t do anything threatening. He’s got an axe. It would have been very, very easy for him to appear threatening. But he never once gave her an unsettling look. Sure, he kept using his axe (on the trees) but he’s a forester and we just walked into his camp. Do you go to a shooting range and cry out, “OH MY GOSH THIS PLACE IS FILLED WITH CRAZED GUNMEN!” The fact that he’s so involved with his work is also notable because she is trying to provoke a reaction out of him.

She then lights the campfire, sits down, and drinks some more of the guy’s beer. (Note that these things can happen in a slightly different order, depending on where you walk. But the picture it paints is still the same.) At last he comes, sits down, and gives her a beer and has one himself. Unlike Ruby’s wolf (we’ll talk about him later) this guy does not seem to be making any effort to persuade Carmen to do anything. He’s not leaning towards her, coming on to her, or even looking at her improperly. They sit together and sip their beer as the camera drifts away and we FADE TO BLACK.

Did they have sex? Well, at grandma’s house, we see a bunch of crazy imagery. Including this:

Do we really need to call on the Power of Freud for this? You know, sometimes a huge wooden shaft penetrating a bed is just a cigar.
Do we really need to call on the Power of Freud for this? You know, sometimes a huge wooden shaft penetrating a bed is just a cigar.

O-kay, then. I think we can go ahead and say they had sex. The non-rape kind. During the spooky funhouse parade of disturbing imagery, we hear moaning, and it is not frightened or in pain or suffering but, you know, sex sounds. Looking at her bio and her behavior at the campsite, I think it’s very clear that she came on to him. She got a brain full of beer, lost her head, and forgot to stop flirting. This does not excuse the forester for sharing his beer and hooking up with a (in some states) underage girl. I hope I don’t need to list all of his crimes, but I don’t think he’s a rapist or an axe murderer. In fact, his strength and power isn’t what made him dangerous – it’s what attracted her to him. It looks like he’s a lonely simpleton who had a hot young girl throw herself at him.

I would say that Carmen’s “wolf” isn’t so much the forester himself, but the fact that her first sexual experience was a stupid, reckless one-nighter with an older guy, which is not an uncommon outcome for the sort of girl I described above.

Aftermath

Carmen may turn out all right in the long run. If you look at her post-wolf pose in the long walk to the house, she’s holding the back of her neck. She’s not feeling violated or injured. She’s hung over. She’s got a terrible headache and probably a double helping of regret, but she’s not physically hurt.

Maybe she’ll sneer that “men are all pigs”, and then go find the next wolf in her life. But maybe this one bad experience will make her more careful. Maybe now that she’s tried sex and the mystery is gone she’ll calm down, level out, and be more careful. Maybe the craving for male attention will fade now that she sees where it goes. She’s not the introspective sort, but just a spark of it could go a long way to helping her to find meaning in this mistake, and happiness later on.

 


 

A Political Message

By Shamus Posted Thursday Aug 27, 2009

Filed under: Pictures 45 comments

change.jpg

I know I try to stay away from politics here on the site, but I’m a huge fan of Optimus Prime and I think he’s the kind of leader we need in these troubled times. Thank you.

(I think his campaign platform should center around running over Michael Bay and then appointing Peter Jackson as Secretary of Making Transformers Movies That Don’t Suck.)

(Picture lifted from random internet forum.)